Drake Is Banging Jennifer LopezBy toddDecember 24, 2016

<——– Lotta those

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on



PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it. But she’s not dead, so I’m gonna post a story I was gonna post on Tuesday but forgot because somebody brought over burritos. I’m going to post it now. The post is about Drake and Jennifer Lopez. You probably figured that out already though.

Drake and Jennifer Lopez might be more than just friends. A week after the 30-year-old rapper visited Lopez in Las Vegas for her residency return at Planet Hollywood, the two were spotted spending a little time together in Los Angeles on Monday night.  An eyewitness tells ET that Drake and Lopez, 47, stepped out for an intimate dinner at West Hollywood hot spot Delilah. While the two did dine with a small group of friends, the eyewitness says that Drake and J.Lo appeared to be on a date.

I’m not really a fan of Drake’s pussy begging music, but if Jennifer Lopez asks you to bang her, you do it. I had more planned for this post, but it’s Christmas Eve. Make up your own.

 

<——– Lotta those A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Dec 11, 2016 at 3:48am PST PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it….

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Justin Bieber Is Very GracefulBy toddDecember 22, 2016

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year. Why you gotta tease us like that, 2016? We know what you’re capable of, dude. Step your damn game up. Look at all those rocks in these pictures. You can’t give us one subdural hematoma? Fuck you, buddy.

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year….

Related Posts:

Tags:
Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom 3By toddDecember 22, 2016

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling what they hell they do in there. Probably some type of strip pilates that’s supposed to benefit Aleppo and shelter dogs or some shit. Whatever it is, it’s not making her ass any smaller. In fact, it’s making it exponentially larger. Maybe this place makes their own dough. No way to be sure until we send an investigative team in. I feel the public needs to know.

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Anton Yelchin Was Killed By His Own CarBy toddJune 19, 2016
Anton Yelchin Was Killed By His Own Car


Anton Yelchin was 27. 

Anton Yelchin, a charismatic and rising actor best known for playing Chekov in the new “Star Trek” films, has died at the age of 27. He was killed in a fatal traffic collision early Sunday morning, his publicist, Jennifer Allen confirmed. Yelchin started small with roles in indie films and various television shows, before breaking out in films like the crime thriller “Alpha Dog” and the teenage comedy “Charlie Bartlett.” His biggest role to date has been in the rebooted “Star Trek” films — the third of which, “Star Trek Beyond” comes out in July.

Anton Yelchin was an only child who died on Father’s Day. His father lost his only son on fucking Father’s Day. Fuck. Go hug someone and tell them you love them, please. 


UPDATE: He was found pinned between his own car and brick mailbox. What the hell.

Anton Yelchin was 27.  Anton Yelchin, a charismatic and rising actor best known for playing Chekov in the new “Star Trek” films, has died at the age of 27. He…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kourtney Kardashian Had To Get Naked Now Of CourseBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Kris Jenner is trying to squeeze every last bit of use out of the old whores in her stable until Kendall Jenner makes the natural transition to full on porn, so here’s Kourtney Kardashian getting naked even though nobody wants to see it. Because “naked Kardashian” and “pregnancy” are routinely top annual lists of the grossest things in the natural world. I appreciate the fact she has her hand over her vagina in one of the pictures, but she should take my word for it, you really don’t need to guard it. Nobody really wants in. I mean, unless the baby is trying to jump out so it can be stillborn or try to live with another family. These pictures are NSFW for a whole multitude of reasons.

Kris Jenner is trying to squeeze every last bit of use out of the old whores in her stable until Kendall Jenner makes the natural transition to full on porn,…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Chicks Of The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Victoria’s secret is probably knowing you won’t look good as these models in their bras and lingerie, but they want you buy the stuff anyway, so every year they have a fashion show, and gyms across the world can’t wait for it to air, because they’ll see a spike big ass spike in memberships for people who will sign up the day after it airs then go to the gym for a month then not come again, but they’ll be locked into a 12-month contract. That’s a pretty good business model. These ladies here are also good models.

Victoria’s secret is probably knowing you won’t look good as these models in their bras and lingerie, but they want you buy the stuff anyway, so every year they have…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Ariana Grande Performed At The 2014 VS Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

I’ll have all the models up later, but first let’s all take a moment to give thanks for Ariana Grande‘s hot ass performing at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I still wouldn’t be able to recognize one of her songs, but what is the media’s fascination with women’s “songs”? Just another example of the patriarchy forcing unrealistic standards of music and art. Here’s some pictures of her in some tight clothes instead.

I’ll have all the models up later, but first let’s all take a moment to give thanks for Ariana Grande‘s hot ass performing at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show….

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Taylor Swift Probably Got Jessica Hart Fired From The VS Fashion ShowBy toddDecember 03, 2014

Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl then becomes Taylor Swift’s sworn enemy who she must destroy and not be satisfied until she drinks her blood from a boot. So let’s flashback to last year when Jessica Hart had this to say about Taylor Swift’s performance during the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

God bless her (Taylor Swift’s) heart. I think she’s great. But I don’t know, to me, she didn’t fit. I don’t know if I should say that.”

Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Actually it does, because anybody who lives in the South understands from an early age that “bless your heart” means “go fuck yourself”, because in the civilized parts of the South, we like to insult you, smile, and walk away without making a big deal out of it and with minimal drama. So everything Jessica Hart said after “God bless her heart”, is hollow and meaningless and should be read as, “Fuck her. Her music sucks and they could have picked somebody who doesn’t suck so much. She really fucking sucks. Sorry, not sorry.”  Enter 2014. The year where Taylor Swift plays the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show again, but Jessica Hart was passed over to be one of the models.

“It’s not been announced that Jessica is not walking, but it was a direct request from Taylor that this be the case if she were to go,” one well-placed Victoria’s Secret insider tells Confidenti@l. “No one can know that Taylor requested Ms. Hart not be in the show. They want to keep that under wraps, but that’s the facts.”

Well, she wasn’t in the show. so there’s that. For all of Swift’s inspirational and feigned feminism, she basically just walks around waiting for someone to say she might not be a fantastic musical goddess, then she fucks with their employment and lives. Sounds about right. Girl power and all that.

 

Taylor Swift is all about feminism and girl power, until you know, another girl publicly insults her, then of course, like most women, Swift has zero chill and the girl…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Kendall Jenner Hates JesusBy toddDecember 01, 2014
Kendall Jenner Hates Jesus

 

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a man who wasn’t born in December while simultaneously trying not to go into debt over forced consumerism or remembering it’s the highest suicide rate of the year, because you have to buy your whole family expensive shit even though Jesus only got some oil and some cologne and some gold his parents probably pawned because their kid was sleeping on hay and goat shit and maybe to get Mary into therapy because God Billy Cosby’d her while she was sleeping. Any possibly some anger management for Joseph, because he was all like, “bitch, what?”.  Then an angel came down and was like, “bro, chill lol, we didn’t even have to tell you tbh but take care of this kid anyway. btw some people are coming to kill it so I’d probably leave imo”. Then Joseph said, “k”. And then they left. Then nothing happened for 30 years then Jesus did some stuff with a bunch of dudes then he died.  Then 2,000 and something years later Kendall Jenner is bent over in lingerie in a Santa Hat. I’m not seeing the connection.

  Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a man who wasn’t born in December while simultaneously trying not to go into debt over forced consumerism or remembering it’s the…

Related Posts:

Tags:
John Boyega Would Like You To Kindly Get Over ItBy toddDecember 01, 2014

After a week The Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer hit online Friday, and there was a black guy on screen at the beginning, so you knew the reaction was going to go all down hill from there. Specifically, John Boyega (star of one of my favorite movies) in a stormtrooper suit because OMG A BLACK GUY IN A STORMTROOPER SUIT THAT’S UNRELAISTIC BECAUSE THE GUY IN THE SUITS WAS A WHITE GUY. Actually, the guy in a stormtrooper suit is Maori, and Han Solo and Luke Skywalker also wore stormtrooper suits. Also keep in mind that there will be a white guy in a Wookie suit, a Guatemalan flying an X-wing, and several people using laser swords. Also, keep in mind that George Lucas made all this shit up. It isn’t real. That’s probably the best thing to remember. Another good thing to remember is that another movie is coming out on December 12th where an Australian plays Moses and Jesse Pinkman plays one of the 12 spies of Israel, if you want to get mad about that instead. No? Oh, ok. But John Boyega would like to have a word.

After a week The Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer hit online Friday, and there was a black guy on screen at the beginning, so you knew the reaction was…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,