Amy Schumer Is Playing A BoxerBy toddApril 17, 2018
Amy Schumer Is Playing A Boxer

 

Even though her movie about a woman who doesn’t feel attractive until she suffers a concussion isn’t out yet, world renowned athlete Amy Schumer is set to star as a boxer in another female empowering movie where I assume her character also gets a concussion. Per The Hollywood Reporter:

The comedian is in talks for Christy Martin, a boxing drama based on the life and career of the titular world-champion fighter who pushed for women’s place in the sport.

Yes, we have to thank Christy Martin for women’s boxing becoming as popular as it is today. It’s so popular I just Googled Christy Martin and now she’s the only female boxer I know. This movie is already doing its job. Respect.

The film will follow Martin’s journey from a gym in West Virginia to becoming the first woman signed by famed boxing promoter Don King. The movie will also delve into her personal life and her marriage to an abusive boxing trainer, Jim Martin, who shot and stabbed Martin after she told him she was leaving him for a woman. She would later testify against him in court, sending him to prison for 25 years.

Oh, wait. This sounds like a drama. I guess since Kurt Metzger and Anthony Jeselnik isn’t writing her stuff anymore, she has to move to serious stuff. Good for her. I’m sure Amy Schumer playing a boxer in a drama will be a big hit. Big. And when it bombs worse than Syria, she can blame the alt-right or whatever. Luckily, she’s playing a boxer so when she gets hit in the mouth she won’t feel it because she doesn’t have any lips.

  Even though her movie about a woman who doesn’t feel attractive until she suffers a concussion isn’t out yet, world renowned athlete Amy Schumer is set to star as…

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Carrie Underwood Lied To UsBy toddApril 16, 2018

 

Barely two months after Carrie Underwood said her face was disfigured because she might have got drunk and decided to argue with her husband and fell down before she made her point, she showed up to the 53rd Academy of Country Music Awards this weekend looking like this. Apparently she heals like Wolverine when it’s time for an awards show.  Is this the next stage of human evolution? Does the government know about this? What are they hiding from us? Mutant rights now. Also, her legs tho. Good lawd.

 

Had a great rehearsal for the @acmawards ! Can’t wait until tomorrow night! #CryPretty #ACMAwards A post shared by Carrie Underwood (@carrieunderwood) on Apr 14, 2018 at 6:23pm PDT  …

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Britney Spears Won A GLAAD AwardBy toddApril 13, 2018
Britney Spears Won A GLAAD Award

 

I’ve been writing this site for so long, I remember when we all thought Britney Spears was gonna die from a combination of laxatives and Mt. Dew while on a ATV, and when Perez Hilton used to roast her pretty much daily. Now she’s a gay icon, because washed up pop stars usually end up one. She won the Vanguard Award last night at the GLAAD Media Awards and was presented by kind of gay icon, Ricky Martin. So come back in 20 years when somebody else will write a post about Cardi B winning the Vanguard Award.

 

  I’ve been writing this site for so long, I remember when we all thought Britney Spears was gonna die from a combination of laxatives and Mt. Dew while on…

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Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just GreatBy toddApril 12, 2018
Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just Great

 

Yesterday, we all learned that Khloe Kardashian‘s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, was banging everything with a vagina who isn’t Khloe Kardashian.  Maybe it’s because he realized she looks like a trans woman. Or maybe not. Who am I to know the heart of another? Anyway, Khloe seems to be taking it well.

A source close to the Kardashian family said pregnant Khloé, who is due to give birth to their daughter any day now, “was devastated when she saw the pictures of Tristan with that girl, she went absolutely ballistic at him. She is not only hurt, she is humiliated and worried for their child. How could he do this, and so publicly, when their baby daughter could arrive within a week?”

Khloe lives in Cleveland with Thompson now, but Kris Jenner just flew out there, so you know how this going to end.

“The goal is to get Khloé out of there as fast as they can without jeopardizing the safety of the baby after she’s arrived,” a source told PEOPLE. “Khloé just wants to be home.”

As soon as the baby comes out, Kris Jenner is gonna have Tristan Thompson immediately paying insane child support payments to save up for the child’s complete body plastic surgery procedure when she turns 15. That shit ain’t cheap. I assume the Kardashian/Jenner family have a Groupon by now.  But if there’s anybody who totally devastated by this, it’s Kim Kardashian. She’s so distraught that her sister was betrayed that she’s posting bikini pics on Instagram. Just look at the sadness in her eyes. It’s truly painful to see.

 

  Yesterday, we all learned that Khloe Kardashian‘s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, was banging everything with a vagina who isn’t Khloe Kardashian.  Maybe it’s because he realized she looks like…

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KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPEBy toddApril 11, 2018
KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPE

 

Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian posted this sweet and not staged at all pic of herself with Tristan Thompson (Black? Check. Average NBA player that her family fetishizes? Check.) on Instagram to celebrate the birth of their daughter who could pop out any time now. That’s wonderful. But what you might not know is that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant by Tristan Thompson because in 2016 Tristan Thompson cheated on his then pregnant girlfriend, Jordan Craig, with Khloe Kardashian then left Jordan Craig to be with Khloe Kardashian before his baby with Jordan Craig was born. Khloe Kardashian was quoted at that time saying that she was just “having fun” and didn’t “want any drama.” This concludes my dramatic irony part of the post, because guess what? You’re really not gonna believe this. Khloe Kardashian is pregnant and Tristan Thompson is cheating on her with multiple women. If only she had some sort of sign before she got pregnant.

 

Apparently Tristan Thompson was banging an IG model (isn’t it always IG models?) all last weekend in NYC, and now she really wants you to know it was her.

A woman claiming she spent the night with Tristan Thompson in NYC this weekend posted and quickly deleted a sex tape and a number of raunchy text messages allegedly with the NBA All-Star. The woman — who goes by @ms.stephaniee_ on Instagram — claims she’s the one who was seen in a video Saturday night walking into the Manhattan Four Seasons with Tristan. Tuesday night she filled her IG story alleged texts from Tristan and a video of a couple having sex … which she claims is her and Tristan. Neither of their faces is visible in the short clip. One of the alleged texts from Tristan read, “If I was there I would grab u while u try to walk away from me than I would pull ya hair and kiss you than rip ya clothes off and lay u down while I suck ya p**** and say sorry.”

The chick is supposedly Lani Blair. I guess you could rightfully stick with the “all men are trash” thing, and nobody would argue, but America really does have an epidemic of whores trying to cash out with famous, rich dudes. Can’t really blame them. What’s the point of having a vagina if it can’t be monetized? You should have to find the algorithm that works best for you and for your vagina. Sometimes that means banging a dude with a pregnant girlfriend at home.

 

TMZ also has a surveillance video footage of Tristan Thompson at a hookah lounge in Washington, D.C. hooking up with two chicks at once. This is obviously wrong, but let’s not pretend these chicks don’t watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. They have kept up and now who Tristan Thompson is. Also, I assume that any of the three women we’ve mentioned her are hotter, younger, and less pregnant than Khloe, so we really don’t need senate committee hearings to find out why he cheated. I really don’t feel bad or sorry for anyone in this story, so I’ll just end this post now. Drink one for Lamar Odom later today.

 

  Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian posted this sweet and not staged at all pic of herself with Tristan Thompson (Black? Check. Average NBA player that her family fetishizes? Check.) on Instagram…

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Emily Ratajkowski Is Playing A “Girl Next Door Type” In A New NBC ShowBy toddApril 06, 2018
Emily Ratajkowski Is Playing A “Girl Next Door Type” In A New NBC Show

 

NBC has a new show coming out called Bright Futures. Here’s how Variety describes it:

“….a group of friends all stumbling through the transition from the clueless, immature twentysomethings they are now to the successful professionals they’re destined to be. In addition, Lisa Kudrow will serve as the show’s narrator.”

So basically Friends. It’s gonna star Emily Ratajkowski, Lilly Singh, Shameik Moore, Jimmy Tatro, and Calum Worthy. Pretty diverse cast! But it’s “Hollywood diverse” in the sense they cast a bunch of black and brown people but three white guys will write the show. BUT HERE’S HOW EMILY RATAJKOWSKI‘S CHARACTER IS DESCRIBED:

Ratajkowski will play Sarah, described as a girl-next-door type but also with a behind-the-ear tattoo. She can just as easily bro out with the guys as she can be the girliest girl.

lol what. Now, I’m not sure what types of women the casting director lives next door to, but if Emily Ratajkowski is what Hollywood thinks is a “girl next door”, I don’t know what they’d cast you as girl reading this. A white walker? Something haunting a house? I think this show might be perpetuating damaging girl next door beauty standards. MY COLUMN:

 

 

banner pic = Instagram

  NBC has a new show coming out called Bright Futures. Here’s how Variety describes it: “….a group of friends all stumbling through the transition from the clueless, immature twentysomethings…

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Demi Rose Turned 23 And That Doesn’t Sound RightBy toddMarch 29, 2018
Demi Rose Turned 23 And That Doesn’t Sound Right

 

Hey, remember Demi Rose? I used to post about her a lot, because damn. During our journey we found out that she might be an escort. That’s fine, whatever she wants to do. The economy is pretty bad. Hopefully she doesn’t also have to drive Uber part-time. So, her 23rd birthday was a few days ago and here are some pics from that night. I feel Demi Rose is what Ariel Winter thinks she looks like, but nobody has the heart to tell her she doesn’t. I’ll stop typing now. I hope this photo gallery finds you well.

 

  Hey, remember Demi Rose? I used to post about her a lot, because damn. During our journey we found out that she might be an escort. That’s fine, whatever…

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Christina Aguilera Did Paper MagazineBy toddMarch 27, 2018
Christina Aguilera Did Paper Magazine

 

Not gonna lie, I thought this was Kesha at first, but then I realized I’ve seen Kesha without makeup before and this picture was more attractive than that, so I thought it was Kesha without makeup that they somehow photoshopped. Then I clicked on the post and found out it was Christina Aguilera without makeup for Paper Magazine. Then I got kind of interested because Paper usually puts up women who are naked then I realized it was just Kim Kardashian because she won’t approve of any picture unless she’s naked. By the time I downloaded these pictures I was already bored, so now you can we can all be bored together.

 

  Not gonna lie, I thought this was Kesha at first, but then I realized I’ve seen Kesha without makeup before and this picture was more attractive than that, so…

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Ariel Winter Had A Very Comfortable Movie Premiere With Burt ReynoldsBy toddMarch 26, 2018
Ariel Winter Had A Very Comfortable Movie Premiere With Burt Reynolds

 

A lot of you hit me up on Twitter about these pics of Ariel Winter at The Last Movie Star premiere because of the dress she had on, but what else would we expect Ariel Winter to wear? She understands who the stars of the show are, dude. So I looked at the pics and realized Burt Reynolds is in the movie, so that means he also went to the premiere. Ariel Winter seems like she wished he hadn’t. What’s going on here? Burt Reynolds looks like he would pay Ariel $130,000 so he could talk about it. You gotta chill, Burt.

 

  A lot of you hit me up on Twitter about these pics of Ariel Winter at The Last Movie Star premiere because of the dress she had on, but…

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