London’s Madame Tussauds unveiled their Justin Bieber waxwork this weekend, and I don’t know if they’re trolling him our not, but we’re all sorry this happened too. That dressed him in the suburban white boy “I want to make my parents mad” starter pack, and his eyes look like they know who Corey Feldman is talking about. Luckily, this wax thing can’t move, so you can grab it in the pussy whenever you want.
I was driving through three states yesterday when the news broke that Prince died. I cried with you. So let’s not rehash that. Instead, let’s celebrate the things we all enjoy here: pure savagery and shitting on the Kardashians. Like the time in 2011 when Kim Kardashian walked on stage during a Prince concert. Prince spun her around, looked at her ass, then said, “get off the stage“. Prince was the hero we deserved.
Jessica Simpson is releasing her 1,542 fragrance, and here’s the commercial. I don’t know what it’s called, but if I had to guess, it’s called “Dem Titties” and it smells like milk.
If the Michael Brown toxicology report has taught us anything, it’s that marijuana makes you a wild, dangerous animal ready to charge at an armed police officer without notice or warning. It makes you impervious to pain, so the police have no choice to shoot you three times in the face from 35-feet away. So obviously, it’s only a matter of time before Miley Cyrus finishes making this bong and start terrorizing the residents of Toluca Lake with her superhuman strength. Stay tuned to Twitchy for more details on this story as it develops.
The National Guard is in Ferguson, Missouri right now, but you know where Nina Agdal is? She’s at the Encore Beach Club in Vegas wearing a bikini. I don’t know. If I was in National Guard I’d much rather be there. Seems like it would be a more laid back vibe.
I don’t think anyone has ever called Charlie Sheen subtle, but well played Sheen. Well played.
Even though they dated about five minutes longer than it takes Adele to take a shit after Del Taco, Taylor Swift wrote a song about Harry Styles and continues to be a vindictive cunt whenever they're in the same room. Look, I'm not one to defend any member of One Direction, but Harry Styles is obviosuly completely over it and gives zero damns to the point where he thinks Taylor's 5th grade drama is funny. And since we all know that the only thing that heats up Taylor's cold, lifeless vagina is seeing her ex-boyfriends happily move on without her, she's probably has a fever today because based on this picture taken at a party after the VMAs Sunday night, Harry's supposedly dating model Paige Reifler. Expect a song about a slutty model on Swift's new album. Hollywood Life reports:
Harry Styles reportedly has a mystery girlfriend, but thanks to a new Instagram pic, we may now know who the woman in question is! Harry was recently spotted with sexy model Paige Reifler and a few friends, in a new Instagram pic, leading many to believe she may be his new girlfriend. “Harry has a new girlfriend,” a source told The Sun. “It’s someone he’s known for a while. It’s early days but they’re getting on really well, and the fact that he’s flown her to New York City shows how keen he is. He’s introducing her as his girlfriend to the camp. They seem very well-suited and happy.” But is the mystery girl actually Paige? The jury is still out, but when you’re a celebrity and you get photographed with a girl, it’s usually the real deal. So only time will tell if these two are friends or something more.
First off, screw you Taylor Swift for making me like a dude in One Direction. Secondly, go buy a vibrator that will text you during the day to say that it loves you. I'm sure Jennifer Aniston has one, just ask her where she got it.
Pic source = Instagram
For most of this year, Kelly Brook's Instagram was just pictures of her fully clothed or in a makeup chair or posing with her boyfriend. You know, the one who cheated on her. Now it's all stuff like this. I watch a lot of Animal Planet and this is what animal scientists call "presenting". I'd get her pregnant, but I'm pretty sure the semen has to go inside not on her leg as soon as I take my pants off. Sorry, Kelly. It happens to a lot of guys! Don't look at me like that!
Pic source = Instagram
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Geri Halliwell's Wind Blown Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Lady GaGa Let Terry Richardson Photograph Her Ass Before The VMAs [The Superficial]
Hilary Duff And Her MILF Legs [Popoholic]
Jessica Alba Still Can Work The Camera [Hollywood Tuna]
Joe Francis Is Going To Jail [Dlisted]
Lady Gaga is a ridiculous attention seeker (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
New mom Princess Catherine goes for groceries [Lainey Gossip]
Kate Gosselin sues Jon Gosselin for wiretapping, hacking and identity theft [Celebitchy]
Hilaria Baldwin Lets It All Hang [Moe Jackson]
Dallas Buyers Club has a trailer [Film Drunk]
Tara Reid in a bikini [Celebslam]
30 Twerking Failures [COED Magazine]
Alexander Skarsgard Went Full on Bro at a Swedish Soccer Match [The Blemish]
Would YOU See An Arrested Development Movie? [Evil Beet Gossip]
White Sox Bench Coach Tossed Before First Pitch [Crave Online]
The Golden Globes want Tina Fey & Amy Poehler again [Popbytes]
Get Revenge [MyEx]