Alessandra Ambrosio Loves BikinisBy toddJanuary 25, 2010

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Due to decency laws and fear of exploding the Internet, Alessandra Ambrosio and her insanely hot ass can’t walk around naked, so she just wears a bikini a lot. Like this one. Not to brag or anything, but you see the orange ball in pic #2? Yeah, I’ve hit that five times already. No more unforeseen dry cleaning bills! No more burning eyes! Ladies, call today for your free precision and accuracy demonstration and consultation!!

Due to decency laws and fear of exploding the Internet, Alessandra Ambrosio and her insanely hot ass can’t walk around naked, so she just wears a bikini a lot. Like…

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Candice Swanepoel Says Good MorningBy toddJanuary 25, 2010
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I’d be more than happy to leave my MS paint masterpiece of Pocahontas as the top post all day for the world to enjoy, but the people who pay me say I have to update this thing once in a while, so here’s Candice Swanepoel in a bikini. There, is that updated enough?! When will I ever be good enough for you?!

I’d be more than happy to leave my MS paint masterpiece of Pocahontas as the top post all day for the world to enjoy, but the people who pay me…

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Olivia Wilde In Italian GQBy toddJanuary 24, 2010

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I’m not entirely sure I could think of anything better than Olivia Wilde on a couch with her ass in the air, so here she is in Italian GQ in what historians will later call the greatest pictures in the history of Sunday, January 24th. Mostly because these pictures make me want to put on a bib.

I’m not entirely sure I could think of anything better than Olivia Wilde on a couch with her ass in the air, so here she is in Italian GQ in…

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Us Magazine Isn’t AfraidBy toddJanuary 24, 2010

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It takes fearlessness and principled integrity to objectively report the tough news, so hats off to Us Magazine for breaking this story that accuses Pattinson of having a beard in an attempt to “appear more manlier.” I’m not sure his facial hair is doing the trick either.

It takes fearlessness and principled integrity to objectively report the tough news, so hats off to Us Magazine for breaking this story that accuses Pattinson of having a beard in…

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Bristol Palin Is ExpensiveBy toddJanuary 22, 2010

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Levi Johnston was some teenage loser who got drunk and knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, then he parlayed that “fame” by posing nude and standing outside car dealerships. Bristol now wants all that money of course. TMZ reports:

Court documents were filed by Bristol’s lawyer late Thursday afternoon in Alaska, demanding $1,750 a month in child support from Levi, retroactive to the birth of son Tripp on December 27, 2008. According to the docs, obtained by TMZ, Bristol believes Levi has pulled in “in excess of $105,000 in 2009 through various media interviews and modeling related activities.” Bristol says in her sworn statement, “I have received limited and sporadic financial assistance from Levi.” Bristol says Levi has forked over only $4,400 over the 13 months of Tripp’s life — $3,000 on September 9, 2009, $1,400 on December 19. Bristol’s request is for temporary support, pending a permanent child support order. UPDATE: Levi Johnston’s manager, Tank Jones, tells TMZ Levi has paid Bristol more than $10,000 since Tripp was born. Jones also says Levi does not make money off of every interview he does, though he did not say exactly how much Levi has made.

$1,750 for one kid? I hate to break it to you ladies, but this how Lifetime movies get made. Here’s an idea, get a job. Just because you didn’t make this idiot pull out, doesn’t mean he has to live under a bridge so you can mark things off your Charlotte Russe wishlist. Besides, this kid is half Palin, there was a good chance he would have came out like Trig. What does he need two grand a month for? Just get him a tire swing or a cable run so he can have free access to the backyard. That seems like it would be fun and a bit more cost effective.


You can read the court docs HERE

Bristol’s mama in booty shorts:

Levi Johnston was some teenage loser who got drunk and knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, then he parlayed that “fame” by posing nude and standing outside car dealerships. Bristol…

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Brittany Murphy’s Husband Has Solved The CaseBy toddJanuary 21, 2010

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A month after her untimely death, Brittany Murphy’s mother and husband, Simon Monjack, appeared on The Today Show to “set the record straight”. And I don’t know if they’re listening, but Monjack just told the whole world that Hollywood has the power to stop a 32-year old’s heart by not offering her a part in an animated sequel. You’ll pay for this Hollywood! Popeater reports:

Monjack claims Murphy suffered a lot of stress in her career after Warner Brothers pulled back on an original offer to let her do ‘Happy Feet 2’ after rumors surfaced that Murphy was fired from a film. “Hollywood broke her heart,” he said. “They have blood on their hands, and I hope they wash them with very hot water because of the way they treated Brittany Murphy while she was alive,” Monjack said. Monjack said he is also considering whether to sue the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Department over an initial report that was obtained by celebrity Web site TMZ.com, which listed several prescription medications found in Murphy’s home. Monjack claims most of the medicines were his but added Murphy took the anti-seizure medication klonopin and that she also occasionally took Sarafem, a drug aimed at pain and mood swings during menstrual periods. He also denied that Murphy ever used cocaine. “She had a fear of dying” because she had mitral valve prolapse, a common condition where a heart valve does not properly close. “She would not take too much caffeine. She wouldn’t even have a glass of champagne on New Year’s. She was just high on life, and people see that as something else I guess.”

If it wasn’t before, it’s safe to say that it’s obvious at this point that every drug in that house belonged to this tubby motherfucker. Her heart couldn’t go on because she couldn’t do a voice over for a penguin? Yeah, that sounds completely rational and sane. Be sure to read more about it in Monjack’s new book called “Goddamn, I’m So Fucking High Right Now.”

A month after her untimely death, Brittany Murphy’s mother and husband, Simon Monjack, appeared on The Today Show to “set the record straight”. And I don’t know if they’re listening,…

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Miranda Kerr Is Naked, Does GQBy toddJanuary 21, 2010
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Miranda Kerr is from Australia and Bar Refaeli is from Israel, so being an American, I should be legally allowed to buy them, right? I mean, I’ve seen Taken. Somebody tell them they have a shoot in Paris then let me know where you parked the boat. I tried to buy a bunch of Jewish girls in Poland one time, but I didn’t get as many as I needed. Seriously. This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!

Miranda Kerr is from Australia and Bar Refaeli is from Israel, so being an American, I should be legally allowed to buy them, right? I mean, I’ve seen Taken. Somebody…

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What Can Brown Do For You?By toddJanuary 21, 2010

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I’m not sure if you’ve read this anywhere or not, but I just found out that when you get elected to serve in Washington, you’re actually expected to accomplish something. Man, I know right?! I don’t know how Obama, Pelosi, and Reid are gonna react when they find that out, but I hope it’s better than how they felt when a state that’s 88% registered Democrat with a Senate seat that’s been in the Kennedy family for half a century, elected a truck driving Republican who pimped his two daughters during his victory speech. That probably didn’t feel too good. But we need some hot women in Washington, so I’m glad he’s giving me the public option to bang his daughters if I so choose. Liberals and Democrats are usually too busy being offended for other people and fighting amongst themselves to make a salon appointment, but Massachusetts has spoken my friends!

Note: I voted for Ron Paul, so I dare you to say shit to me. I hate Neocons and liberals, but, let’s face it, the conservatives are just way more penis-friendly. If we could win the war on terror by me having a foursome with Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama, Congress might as well pass a stimulus bill to help Bin Laden build a Death Star.


I’m not sure if you’ve read this anywhere or not, but I just found out that when you get elected to serve in Washington, you’re actually expected to accomplish something….
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You’ll Need A Clean Plate For The Buffet, Ma’amBy toddJanuary 20, 2010

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Jessica Simpson showed up to the Extreme Measurements premiere last night, and I guess the great mystery is why she looked so upset. Who knows. Maybe the carwash just told her that “The Colonel’s special blend of 11 herbs and spices” isn’t a scent they normally carry.

Jessica Simpson showed up to the Extreme Measurements premiere last night, and I guess the great mystery is why she looked so upset. Who knows. Maybe the carwash just told…

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Leonardo DiCaprio Is SmartBy toddJanuary 20, 2010

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Apparently realizing that he’s dating a Victoria’s Secret model, Leonardo DiCaprio is expected to propose to Bar Refaeli on Valentine’s Day. National Enquirer reports:

Leonardo DiCaprio plans to pop the question to his model girlfriend on Valentine’s Day – and he has his mom to thank! She’s the one who urged the 35-year-old Basketball Diaries star – one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors – to finally snag Israeli-born beauty Bar Refaeli, 24, after an on-and-off three-year romance, sources tell The ENQUIRER. “Leo’s mother Irmelin never forgave Leo for missing the boat with his ex-girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen. His mom told him before Christmas, ‘You had better not let this one get away!'” a close friend divulged. After splitting last June, Leo and Bar – the cover girl on the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue – reignited their romance during a Thanksgiving getaway in the Bahamas. And after a loved-up, week-long Christmas vacation in the Mexican resort town of Cabo San Lucas, Leo reached a decision about his future, insiders say. “Leo had been toying with the idea of proposing to Bar on Valentine’s Day. But he told his mom the deciding factor would be how they got along in Cabo,” said the close friend. “His mother called him on New Year’s morning and said, ‘Well?’ Leo told her, ‘You’re right, as usual. I don’t want to let her go.’

Leonardo could walk into any sorority in America, unzip his pants, and point to where he wants the line to start, but whatever. To reiterate, he’s dating Bar Refaeli. She could hit me with her car and I’d give her a back massage to calm her nerves.

Apparently realizing that he’s dating a Victoria’s Secret model, Leonardo DiCaprio is expected to propose to Bar Refaeli on Valentine’s Day. National Enquirer reports: Leonardo DiCaprio plans to pop the…

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