You weirdos like Chloe Grace Moretz, specifically her ass that I didn’t know she had until January. Now that I know these two things, I guess I have to post every “Chloe Grace Moretz wears tight pants or shorts” thing. This is one of those things. A thing where Chloe Grace Moretz wears tight pants but not shorts. You’re welcome. And how’s your day going, btw? I feel we don’t talk anymore.
You probably won’t believe this, but Kim Kardashian had someone take a video of her ass then she posted it on social media. So unlike her. Not her style.
Leonardo DiCaprio was driving his Range Rover with Nina Agdal through the Hamptons and got hit by a Mini Cooper. There’s no reason to feel bad for him. If you did, read that first sentence again.
The Oscar winner and the model were heading east on Montauk Highway in Wainscott in a Range Rover at about 4:30 p.m. Saturday when they were struck by a woman driving a Mini Cooper. DiCaprio first checked to make sure Agdal was OK before climbing out of the SUV and walking to the driver’s side of the much-smaller Mini. He tried to open the door to tend to the woman, but it was locked. When the unidentified driver unlocked the door, DiCaprio helped her out. “She was shaken up. Leo was nice about it. He motioned for her to come with him, and he helped her over to the guardrail so she could rest,” the witness said.
Then may favorite part:
The Range Rover suffered little apparent damage. But the Mini, which the witness said was traveling about 10 mph, had extensive front-end damage and had to be towed.
Besides being yet another reason not to own a Mini Cooper, this is why Leonardo DiCaprio takes private jets. You know the one I’m talking about. Your Aunt Carol posted it on Facebook because she cares about the environment.
Not sure what happened with the Selena Gomez of lesser value coupon, but WENN says this is Justin Bieber‘s “rumored girlfriend Bronte Blampied“. Her name sounds like a Harry Potter teacher. Apparently she’s friends with Sofia Richie, and Bieber seems like the dude who would fuck his girlfriend’s friend. She’s some type of model and here’s her Instagram. From what I can tell she does a lot of modeling with her head down. I kept scrolling and found out that’s probably for the best.
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Lady Gaga posed on the cover of Q Magazine with her hands over tits and a fake penis. OMG, see what she did there?! Like, she’s so edgy and deep!! No, not really. This ugly bitch shouldn’t be on the cover of Dog Fancy or Burn Victim Models Weekly, yet she wants to let everybody know that she a female. She humps everything close by in her videos and all her songs are about how every guy wants to fuck her, yet half the world thinks she’s a dude. I’m not sure if she picked up on that, but that might not be the best compliment.
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The second trailer for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street starring the brilliantly creepy Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger hit online today, and if what you see is any indication of the actual movie, wish me luck. There’s a good chance my girlfriend will have her head in my lap for two hours. Thanks Freddy!
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I realize this has nothing to do with celebrities, but if you haven’t heard of Dr. Earl Bradley, I’ll gladly supply a chainsaw and a kill room if you’re interested.
Splash News reports:
Popular pediatrician Dr. Earl Bradley has been charged with sexually molesting 103 children at an office he had decked out with a merry-go-round and a ferris wheel, in Delaware, US. Evidence seized from the community medic’s practice and home has led state officials to believe he has carried out sickening attacks on scores of small children since 1998. Bradley, 56, has been charged by a grand jury with the molestation of 103 children. He is held at Vaughn Correction Center on $3 million bond. The disturbing accusations stem from incidents which allegedly took place at his Lewes, Delaware, practice called BayBees Pediatrics. He is accused of videotaping sex acts while the children’s parents were waiting in another room.
I pretend to hate a lot of people on this site, but if I ever saw this guy walking down the street my serrated Kershaw would try to find out if his aorta in fact runs the entire length of his torso. I guess I should know that already, but what am I a doctor?
When they go crazy, you’re supposed to go crazy, too. If somebody messes with my six year-old, I’m cutting a motherfucker’s head off. Then taking it to a bar and talk to it. A scotch and soda for me and get my friend here a beer. – Paul Mooney
I breastfed until I was four, so my obsession with British chicks with huge tits isn't really my fault. So forgive me for posting these 24 pics of Rhian Sugden, Lindsey Strutt, Peta Todd and Holly Peers. Or forgive my hippy parents. Why did you make me like this?! I never asked to be born!!
NOTE: I don't want to assume that the big red lips gave it away, but these are very NSFW. Unless you work at a mastectomy clinic or you're not from Earth and not familiar with our ways. Then hey man, by all means go for it.
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Johnny Depp wants Satanic murderers freed [Popeater]
Candice Swanepoel is ridiculously hot [Popoholic]
Gays can do this [Egotastic]
Somebody get some potpourri or something [TaxiDriver Movie]
Church Sign Guy makes valid points [College Humor]
John Mayer‘s 16 Most Douchiest Quotes [COED Magazine]
Gry Arnestad would get split like firewood [Celebslam]
Jennifer Lopez got dropped from her record label [Cele|bitchy]
Penelope Cruz is always naked [Cityrag]
Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini [Heyman Hustle]
Banner Pic: The future ex-Mrs. Todd. I need to get her pregnant and sell the baby so I can get my bills straight.
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Scientologist Erika Christensen was at some event yesterday that I didn’t bother to look up, because she stuffed her enormous rack into a black dress and made my penis question all he knew about God. Did an intergalatic C-130 really drop millions of people into a volcano and blow them up with an atomic bomb by order of Xenu? I think Jesus would be cool if I titty fucked her to get to the bottom of this.