Toby Keith Said…Wait, Do What Now?By toddOctober 03, 2011

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Hillbilly human growth hormone and country artist who wrote a song that I’m sure is played on a constant loop at terrorist training camps, Toby Keith, was interviewed this weekend and asked about his thoughts on gay marriage and DADT. Now take a moment and imagine what he said. Yeah, it’s the complete opposite. CMT reports:

Toby Keith has no concerns about the recent repeal of the U.S. military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy banning openly-gay troops from enlisting and serving in the armed forces, although he questions the safety of females who are sent to the front lines of battle. “That whole gay issue thing, that’s never bothered me,” he told CMT Insider correspondent Allison DeMarcus. “I’ve never seen what that affects and [why] anybody should care — and they never do affect me.” He continued, “First of all, we’re going to stop somebody from getting a marriage license because they’re gay? You won’t stop them from living together, so what have you accomplished? … Wasting a lot of money here and a lot of time that could be spent working on this deficit that we’re under … I never saw the reasoning behind getting in people’s personal lives.” Keith went on to say, “But the military is a tough thing. I don’t worry as much about the heterosexual people fighting as I do … about the gays. … In the military or any class in life, you have people who have problems with it, and I’m wondering how that’s going to be compatible on the battlefield. That’s the only question I have, other than that I don’t care. “It’s just such a big issue that people make such a big stink about — ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ … And that sounds like our government: ‘We’ll fix it by saying, “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Everybody agree, raise your hands. All right, let’s go get a snack,'” Keith added with a laugh. “You know, I don’t know enough about what they proposed or what they’ve put in place here. … Somebody’s sexual preference is like, ‘Who cares?'”

It’s hard for me to give a guy who wanted to behead the Dixie Chicks because they had the audacity to criticize George Bush credit for anything, but to alienate the vast majority of your fan base because you don’t see a problem with homosexuals having rights, then good for you. There’s other things we as Americans should be worrying about. Things like bears.

Hillbilly human growth hormone and country artist who wrote a song that I’m sure is played on a constant loop at terrorist training camps, Toby Keith, was interviewed this weekend…

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Episiotomy WillisBy toddOctober 03, 2011

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Rumer Willis and her freakishly large head were at the Launch Party for RAGE this weekend, and I still have a hard time believing this actually came out of Demi Moore’s vagina. I’m sure when she was in the recovery room, Ty Pennington was standing between her legs with a megaphone at some point.

There were only five pics in this gallery, so I had to add a sixth. Try to guess which one it is!

Rumer Willis and her freakishly large head were at the Launch Party for RAGE this weekend, and I still have a hard time believing this actually came out of Demi…

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Sunday FundayBy jessOctober 02, 2011
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It’s Sunday, which means I have a game to watch. The Victoria’s Secret winter 2011 collection is out, which means I also have more Adriana Lima photos for you. We’re all winners here! Except probably the Jets and my liver, but whatever. I can always get a new one.

It’s Sunday, which means I have a game to watch. The Victoria’s Secret winter 2011 collection is out, which means I also have more Adriana Lima photos for you. We’re…

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Russell Brand Isn’t Allowed In CanadaBy jessOctober 02, 2011
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Meh, Japan did it first. E! Online reports:

The British comedian was forced to postpone his comedy show in Canada after being denied entry into the country Saturday. The funnyman tweeted, “HELP! I’m gonna be late for Casino Rama show unless someone can force Canadian customs officials to let us land in Orillia!” while apparently still in the air en route to the show. Brand, ever cheeky, then tweeted, “How do you manipulate customs officials? Wasn’t Hitler’s father a customs officer? I’m pretty sure he was.” Things clearly were not going well with the comic who implored the border bureaucrats, “Let me in! I must perform at Casino Rama, Orillia tonight at 9 for 5,000 Canadians.” Brand ended his Twitter banter in defeat: “Tonight’s Casino Rama show postponed. I’m sorry. I can’t enter Canada. We must abolish the borders between our nations AND our minds.”

I couldn’t give a shit less about Russell Brand, but this seems hypocritical of Canada. Sure, he used to be a drug addict and got in a few scuffles with photographers, but nothing he can ever do can be as terrible as the crimes against humanity Canada’s made the world suffer. I dig maple syrup, hockey, and health care, but Justin Bieber, Avril Lavigne, Pam Anderson, and ham that they try to pass off as bacon aren’t forgivable. And don’t get me started on Nickelback.

Meh, Japan did it first. E! Online reports: The British comedian was forced to postpone his comedy show in Canada after being denied entry into the country Saturday. The funnyman…

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Elizabeth Hurley Is EngagedBy jessOctober 01, 2011
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Let’s see if this one sticks. Gossip Center reports:

Looking happily in love, Elizabeth Hurley joined Steve Warne at the Kingsbarns Golf Links for The Alfred Dunhill Links Championship in Kingsbarns, Scotland on Saturday (October 1). With the 46-year-old English model/actress also joined by her son Damian, the two cheered on Warne as he competed against the field – with the sighting coming amidst reports that Miss Hurley and Mr Warne have gotten engaged to be married. Seemingly confirming the news, Liz sported a fancy ring on that all-important finger while sharing plenty of smooches with her man during the course of the day. According to UK sources, Warne proposed to Hurley during a romantic break in Scotland – as the Daily Mail tells that Shane popped the question during dinner at the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews. Their insider dished, “Shane proposed over dinner and it was fairly public, not a private affair. It was a VIP crowd in there this evening. It was residents only, including Dunhill past players. He didn’t get down on one knee, but when it was announced the other guests in the restaurant stood up and applauded. Everyone there was absolutely delighted.”

Elizabeth Hurley is 46 years old. She was with Hugh Grant for 13 years, even after he got caught with a prostitute. She had a kid with Steve Bing that he denied until DNA proved him the father. She married an Indian guy in one of the most expensive celebrity weddings in history, then left him for “unreasonable behavior” when he was upset that she was fucking a cricket player before the ink dried on their divorce papers. If you’re invited to this wedding, keep the receipts for your shower gifts, because odds are this marriage will last as long as her box office career.

Let’s see if this one sticks. Gossip Center reports: Looking happily in love, Elizabeth Hurley joined Steve Warne at the Kingsbarns Golf Links for The Alfred Dunhill Links Championship in…

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Ashton Kutcher’s Side Piece Wants $250KBy toddSeptember 30, 2011

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In case your job had you mining helium-3 on the far side of the Earth’s moon recently, you’ve probably heard that Ashton Kutcher and his undead, mummy wife (Demi Moore, fyi) are on the brink of divorce because Demi Moore’s ancient vagina can’t be fixed by plastic surgery. Apparently, Kutcher prefers 23-year old vagina. Specifically, the 23-year vagina of blonde, Sara Leal (this ravishing beauty). Let’s take a guess if she’s an opportunistic, gold digging whore, shall we? Page Six reports:

Ashton Kutcher is being asked to pay a six-figure sum to a blonde who claims she had sex with him on the same day he and wife Demi Moore celebrated their sixth wedding anniversary. Sara Leal, 23, is preparing to tell the story of how she hooked up with “Two and a Half Men” star Kutcher, 33, at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego last Friday, following a boozy night with his guy friends, according to a report on thedirty.com. Now Leal has met with Beverly Hills lawyer Keith Davidson, who represented former Betty Ford worker Dawn Holland after she complained Lindsay Lohan attacked her. Holland dropped her claim after settling with Lohan’s camp, reportedly for $25,000. A source told us, “Sara is talking to multiple media outlets for a deal. She wants $250,000, but the offers haven’t been as high. What she really wants is to get a payoff from Ashton. She has reached out to Ashton’s team.”

Wait, you mean a chick fucked a famous, married guy and now wants a huge payday because she thinks she’s too pretty and entitled to work? I hope she gets it for all the pain and suffering she’s been through. Trying to get calculations right in Excel and looking up lawyers in the phone book takes a lot out of a person.

In case your job had you mining helium-3 on the far side of the Earth’s moon recently, you’ve probably heard that Ashton Kutcher and his undead, mummy wife (Demi Moore,…

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Rosie Jones Does ZOOBy toddSeptember 30, 2011

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When your body is physical perfection, sometimes people want you to be on the cover of their magazine. So here’s Rosie Jones on the new issue of Zoo. This is almost like the time I was on the cover of Southern Living for my famous lemon cookies. My grandma says that’s just one more reason why I’m such a catch. That and when I cry during my Grey’s Anatomy viewing parties. She says I should have a girlfriend in no time.

When your body is physical perfection, sometimes people want you to be on the cover of their magazine. So here’s Rosie Jones on the new issue of Zoo. This is…

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Guess WhoBy toddSeptember 29, 2011

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Instead of bothering to complete the remaining 448 of her 480 hours of community service that she was sentenced to in April, here’s Lindsay Lohan leaving Raspoutine nightclub last night in Paris. But in Lindsay’s defense, they let you get drunk and do blow in the bathroom at nightclubs.

Note: Lindsay’s first probation progress hearing was in July where Judge Stephanie Sautner was vocally frustrated and impatient with Lindsay for completing only four days of her sixty days of community service. During the hearing, Sautner told Lindsay that she would “not accept any more excuses”. Lindsay’s next progress hearing is scheduled for October 17. She’s still only completed four days. This should be fun.

Instead of bothering to complete the remaining 448 of her 480 hours of community service that she was sentenced to in April, here’s Lindsay Lohan leaving Raspoutine nightclub last night…

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