Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Single. Again.By toddMay 04, 2011

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When you’re a bottomless pit of need, insecurity, and Hostess cupcakes, these things happen. Us Weekly reports:

Jennifer Love has lost in love again. After nearly a year together, Jennifer Love Hewitt has parted ways with beau Alex Beh, her rep confirms to Us Weekly. “They haven’t been dating for a little while,” the rep adds. Us first reported that Hewitt was dating actor-director Beh in late July 2010 following her March split from Ghost Whisperer costar Jamie Kennedy. In the wake of her Beh breakup, “She’s doing well,” a pal tells Us. Back in February, all was well with Hewitt, 31 and her man. “He buys me flowers every day,” she told Us in an NYC fashion week event. “Ever since we met. Every single day — I’m serious! He’ll either give me a bouquet, or handpick one. So sweet!”

Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote a self-help book to give women practical dating advice, so if you’re a woman and you bought this book, burn it then bury the ashes. Then change your name and move because your bookcase is now cursed. You’d be better off buying a book on dating with the words “Sharia law” in the title.

When you’re a bottomless pit of need, insecurity, and Hostess cupcakes, these things happen. Us Weekly reports: Jennifer Love has lost in love again. After nearly a year together, Jennifer…

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Katy Perry’s Rack Does Vanity FairBy toddMay 04, 2011

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Katy Perry is a talentless label creation who needs Auto-Tune, special effects makeup, and teenage girls to have a career, but at least she’s self-aware. And by “self-aware” I mean “Hey, everybody! Look at my tits! They’re pretty big, right?!”.

Katy Perry is a talentless label creation who needs Auto-Tune, special effects makeup, and teenage girls to have a career, but at least she’s self-aware. And by “self-aware” I mean…

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Andy Dick Got Arrested AgainBy toddMay 03, 2011

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Man, Celebrity Rehab really works. VH1 should never cancel it. TMZ reports:

The downward spiral continues … Andy Dick was arrested at a restaurant in Temecula, CA last night after cops say he was acting disorderly … while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The former “Celebrity Rehab” star was taken to a nearby jail … where he was booked at 9:48 PM. Bail was set at $500.

“Downward spiral”? Where is this bar, in the Earth’s core? It’s Andy Dick. He gets drunk and does blow then gets arrested. That’s his thing. I’d be less surprised if he was arrested for being the Zodiac Killer.

Man, Celebrity Rehab really works. VH1 should never cancel it. TMZ reports: The downward spiral continues … Andy Dick was arrested at a restaurant in Temecula, CA last night after…

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Kat Dennings Understands How To Promote A MovieBy toddMay 03, 2011

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Let’s not kid ourselves here. Much like Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings‘ face is busted. But since she has huge tits and her body looks like this, she wins at life and is cast in movies then asked to walk the red carpet for the Thor premiere (see how that works, ladies?). This movie already looks pretty good, so if Thor somehow finds himself surrounded by evil forces and the only way to defeat them would be to titty fuck Kat Dennings, I feel a scene such as that would resonate with me and bring emotional balance to the film.

Let’s not kid ourselves here. Much like Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings‘ face is busted. But since she has huge tits and her body looks like this, she wins at life…

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Lindsay Showed Up To Community Service Without A BraBy toddMay 03, 2011

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Since everything she does should be with a giant, neon flashing arrow and a sign around her neck that says, “ME, ME, ME, EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!!!”, Lindsay Lohan showed up to her first day of community service at the Downtown Women’s Center in Los Angeles without a bra. I don’t know. I guess a bunch of women who flinch when they see a broom handle or an extension cord like to look at titties, too.

Since everything she does should be with a giant, neon flashing arrow and a sign around her neck that says, “ME, ME, ME, EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!!!”, Lindsay Lohan showed…

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Katy Perry Is IronicBy jessMay 01, 2011
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Vocal powerhouse Katy Perry performed an off-pitch cover of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” at a concert in Australia this weekend in an attempt to be ironic. LOL! The ironic part is that Rebecca Black was 13 when she released “Friday,” and Katy Perry had a team to help her write lyrics like “You’re hot and you’re cold / you’re yes then you’re no / you’re in, then you’re out / you’re up then you’re down” and “You’re so gay” when she was 24. The only differences between them are age, puberty, and an eyebrow wax.

Images via Wenn.

Vocal powerhouse Katy Perry performed an off-pitch cover of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” at a concert in Australia this weekend in an attempt to be ironic. LOL! The ironic part is…

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Sorry, Kate MiddletonBy jessApril 30, 2011

All any outlets are reporting on is the royal wedding of two mediocre looking British people. Here’s topless (NSFW) Lucy Pinder instead. You’re welcome.

All any outlets are reporting on is the royal wedding of two mediocre looking British people. Here’s topless (NSFW) Lucy Pinder instead. You’re welcome.

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Lindsay Lohan Learned MathBy jessApril 30, 2011

After appealing her sentence (oh, and appearing on Leno), Lindsay Lohan realized “120 days in jail” in Los Angeles isn’t actually 120 and finally entered a plea deal. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan will plead no contest to the misdemeanor theft charge she faces over that pesky necklace … sources connected with the case tell TMZ.

We’re told Lindsay is committed to what she told Jay Leno this week — that she wants to accept responsibility and move on with her life.

So Lindsay and her lawyer, Shawn Holley, will go back to Judge Stephanie Sautner as early as next week to enter the plea.

Lindsay has already been sentenced to 120 days in jail for the probation violation, along with 480 hours of community service. Sources tell us Lindsay and her lawyer are banking on Judge Sautner not adding additional time on the theft charge. In other words, when Lindsay serves her 120-day sentence, that would be the end of it. And sources familiar with the case say that would be a routine disposition.

L.A. County Sheriff’s spokesperson Steve Whitmore tells TMZ his rough calculation is that Lindsay would serve three weeks, although there are variables to that.

Lindsay will probably serve 17.5% of her prison sentence. However, she’ll have to serve all of her community service hours, which will be divided between a morgue and a women’s shelter, likely because those are the only places left where she’ll ever be a marquee name.

After appealing her sentence (oh, and appearing on Leno), Lindsay Lohan realized “120 days in jail” in Los Angeles isn’t actually 120 and finally entered a plea deal. TMZ reports:…

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She’s A Fairytale Princess. Just Like In The Movies.By toddApril 29, 2011

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I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail for my two royal wedding posts from people who don’t live in England telling me, again, that I should stick to “drunk celebrities and upskirts”. So here’s Kate Middleton drunk off her ass at Boujis Nightclub. With a bonus upskirt. Man, I’m pretty fucking good at this.

I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail for my two royal wedding posts from people who don’t live in England telling me, again, that I should stick to “drunk…

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Hilary Rhoda Does TatlerBy toddApril 28, 2011

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Skinny white chick with brown hair? Blue eyes? Kick ass legs? Apparent oral fixation? Isolated cabin in the woods far away from any major roads and access to a deep lake? Oh, yeah. I think we’re pretty much all set here.

Skinny white chick with brown hair? Blue eyes? Kick ass legs? Apparent oral fixation? Isolated cabin in the woods far away from any major roads and access to a deep…

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