Ariel Winter Also Did TribecaBy toddApril 25, 2017

I’ve had these pics of Ariel Winter at Tribeca loaded for two days now, so I guess it’s time to post them first thing in the morning so you won’t think that I feel these are important. She’s wearing black and looks 40 pounds skinnier, so maybe you’ll find these fascinating. The dress also sparkles. The Tribeca Film Festival logo looks pretty great. And carpet appears clean. I’m trying to stay positive here.

I’ve had these pics of Ariel Winter at Tribeca loaded for two days now, so I guess it’s time to post them first thing in the morning so you won’t…

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Adriana Lima Did TribecaBy toddApril 24, 2017
Adriana Lima Did Tribeca

 

I was going to post these pics of Adriana Lima at Tribeca on Friday, but it seemed insensitive with all the Aaron Hernandez stuff going on. Adriana broke up with a New England Patriot in March then a month later Aaron Hernandez commits suicide because he didn’t get away with murdering someone who knew he had a secret gay boyfriend.  Nt cool, Adriana. Also, Hernandez and Tim Tebow hung out a lot in college. Why am bringing this up? Oh, no reason. No reason at all. Here’s the pics I was talking about earlier.

 

  I was going to post these pics of Adriana Lima at Tribeca on Friday, but it seemed insensitive with all the Aaron Hernandez stuff going on. Adriana broke up…

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Demi Lovato Doesn’t Understand SunlightBy toddApril 24, 2017
Demi Lovato Doesn’t Understand Sunlight

 

Demi Lovato has been on vacation from something for like a week now and she keeps posting swimsuit pics. Not bikini pics though, because she’s super into body positivity. And if she wore a bikini it wouldn’t be that positive, I’m guessing. But maybe she could read up on how sunlight works, because as a year-round tan person, I find this post highly offensive. Mostly because of her tan lines. Tan lines are gross. Sorry you had to hear it this way, Hannah.

 

Don’t know if it’s physically possible for me to get any more tan….

A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on

You don’t know if it’s physically possible for you to get any more tan? *clears throat, slowly raises hand* Ever wonder why you don’t put suntan lotion on a bathing suit?

  Demi Lovato has been on vacation from something for like a week now and she keeps posting swimsuit pics. Not bikini pics though, because she’s super into body positivity….

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Bella Thorne Doesn’t Take Medication Or Use Birth ControlBy toddApril 21, 2017
Bella Thorne Doesn’t Take Medication Or Use Birth Control

 

Bella Thorne is slowly turning into a pretty good anti-meth ad, but she also might be suffering from depression because she says she is.

Thorne has been outspoken about her battles with acne, her suicidal thoughts when she was younger, and her sexuality, which is fluid. She recently tweeted that she had depression, and then…

Bella Thorne

 

…..deleted it after the ensuing uproar.

Ah, yes. 2017 strikes again. Because if there’s anything that should cause an uproar, it’s telling people who suffer from depression that they aren’t alone. Bella Thorne should be burned at the stake, to be honest. It’s probably the only way people who suffer from depression will finally be okay. Of course, since it’s 2017, she had to “clarify her remarks” and then holy shit.

“I wasn’t saying that I clinically went to a doctor. I didn’t know it was a big thing. You can judge me for believing my beliefs. In my family, we never went to doctors growing up. I don’t like medication. I don’t even take birth control. I won’t even take Advil or Tylenol. I power through. I’m all natural,” she says.

I know I’m not really supposed to objectify women and base their worth on how attractive they are, but say what you will about the current state of her face, but put her in a bikini and bend her over and we’re still good. But put her in a bikini and bend her over and know she isn’t on birth control? Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg. Maybe if she turns around during it wouldn’t be a problem, but I can’t really take that chance.

 

  Bella Thorne is slowly turning into a pretty good anti-meth ad, but she also might be suffering from depression because she says she is. Thorne has been outspoken about…

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Feminists Hate Shailene Woodley NowBy toddMay 06, 2014
Feminists Hate Shailene Woodley Now

 

The best way for a large group of people to attack you on the Internet is to state an opinion publicly then sit back and wait. Well, Shailene Woodley didn't have to wait long after her interview with Time where she stated she doesn't consider herself a feminist. Lots of people on the Internet right now with toxic shock syndrome.

TIME: You’ve talked about before—with Divergent specifically, too—about being conscious of the kind of messages that you’re sending to young female fans when you’re taking on roles. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Shailene Woodley: No because I love men, and I think the idea of ‘raise women to power, take the men away from the power’ is never going to work out because you need balance. With myself, I’m very in touch with my masculine side. And I’m 50 percent feminine and 50 percent masculine, same as I think a lot of us are. And I think that is important to note. And also I think that if men went down and women rose to power, that wouldn’t work either.. We have to have a fine balance. My biggest thing is really sisterhood more than feminism. I don’t know how we as women expect men to respect us because we don’t even seem to respect each other. There’s so much jealousy, so much comparison and envy. And “This girl did this to me and that girl did that to me.” And it’s just so silly and heartbreaking in a way. It’s really neat to see: there’s that new Judd Apatow [sic] movie coming out, The Other Woman, and that looks really good because I think it’s really neat that it shows women coming together and supporting each other and creating a sisterhood of support for one another versus hating each other for something that somebody else created.

TIME: So even though what they’re coming together for is to bring down a man…

SW: Yeah, but they create a sisterhood. And he did something wrong, and they’re, you know. They’re going to go after him for it. I think it’s great.

*clears throat* I'm not going to get into the myth of the "sisterhood", but let me preface this by saying that I was raised by a single mother because my father was a raging cokehead who was too busy being Johnny Semenseed all over the contiguous United States and Germany (lots of German women supported our troops) to ever be an actual father. In fact, almost every strong, influence in my life has been a woman, and I lived in fear of my grandmother even after I graduated high school, because as it turns out, 4'11" Native American women who have been working on a farm since they were 6 have no time for your bullshit. And if you look through history and even today, when you remove women from the equation, whether it be religion, the Boy Scouts, fraternities, our your life in general, things eventually go horribly wrong and the only thing that's needed to course correct the inevitable sad, freakshow is for a woman to come in and say, "Look, go have a seat while I figure this shit out". The world needs women just as much as men, and if you want to add in the biological and nurturing aspect, women are even more important. That being said, if feminists could suck dick the way they suck the fun out of everything, then maybe their message would be better received. Attacking a woman who doesn't agree with feminism is, uh, a bit off message, don't you think? Not everybody with a vagina is down for the cause, and whatever circumstances in your life brought you to embrace and accept feminism might not have happened to the woman next to you. So chill. We can talk the patriarchy all you want, but I'm pretty sure Oprah or Beyonce don't spend a lot of their time thinking about it. They realized their own self-worth and power at an early age, and now they got shit handle. If an image in a magazine or an insecure comment by a fool with a dick can make you question your value on this planet, then you're fighting two enemies, so slay the one in the mirror first. Most of the people complaning about Woodley seem to be focused on, "OMG SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT FEMINISM MEANS!" And maybe that's true, because the word you've adopted and the actual definition mean two completely different things. The definition of "feminism" is basically "humanism", but you've made it female-centric, so it confuses everybody who has more one thing to think about during their day. I love women, everybody should love women (another thing gay dudes get right), but as man, I'll never get a diamond as a prize for answering "yes" to a question. I'm never going to get into a club free before 10pm. And I'll never be able to marry a French billionaire when the patriarchy says I'm too old to effectively perform my job. So if you want to be mad at some 22-year old chick who is too young to realize that she'll never have life figured out and who probably doesn't even know a single Tori Amos song, feel free. But take a step back and understand why you're mad in the first place. Since you're a woman, I'm sure you'll let me know three months from now.

 

  The best way for a large group of people to attack you on the Internet is to state an opinion publicly then sit back and wait. Well, Shailene Woodley…

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‘Gotham’ Has A TrailerBy toddMay 06, 2014

 

I guess FOX wanted their own Smallville (that shit ran for 10 years. TEN years), so here's the trailer for Gotham, which I'm told tells the backstory of Bruce Wayne before he becomes Batman. So basically, it's another show about rich, white people with problems. I'm glad FOX has decided to take a chance on such a controversial topic. Rich white people have been marginalized in the media for far too long, so it's good they are finally being represented here.

  I guess FOX wanted their own Smallville (that shit ran for 10 years. TEN years), so here's the trailer for Gotham, which I'm told tells the backstory of Bruce…
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Hey There, RihannaBy toddMay 06, 2014

The Met Ball thing was last night, and Rihanna showed up wearing this dress. So yeah, Tuesday is turning out pretty good so far. I'm lint rolling the hell out of my pants right now (*). I'll stop talking so you can click through the gallery and join Rihanna for the ride of your life.

 

 

(*) = euphemism

The Met Ball thing was last night, and Rihanna showed up wearing this dress. So yeah, Tuesday is turning out pretty good so far. I'm lint rolling the hell out…

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Taylor Swift Wore ThisBy toddJuly 29, 2013

Taylor Swift was in Rhode Island to paddleboard this weekend, and as we can see, she's totally committed to wearing high-waisted things. Pants, shorts, bikinis, doesn't matter. If it's high-waisted, she will point at it and want to buy it. Especially if it leaves next to a relative of a boy she likes.

Taylor Swift was in Rhode Island to paddleboard this weekend, and as we can see, she's totally committed to wearing high-waisted things. Pants, shorts, bikinis, doesn't matter. If it's high-waisted,…

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Tara Reid Wasn’t Asked To Be In ‘Sharknado 2’By toddJuly 29, 2013
Tara Reid Wasn’t Asked To Be In ‘Sharknado 2’

 

Sharknado, Syfy's instant masterpiece about a tornado filled with sharks and the actors who haven't worked since the 90s who fight them, is by far the most culturally significant film of our time. Even though the special effects were created on a free iPhone app and the continuity was like a conversation between Amanda Bynes and a toaster, Sharknado is a brilliant piece of cinema that succeeds because it is exactly what you expect it to be. Hilariously earnest in its terribleness. And about 70% of the terrible was any scene that included Tara Reid, because it was obvious that she was just fed Xanax and wine the whole time and right before the director said action, a person wheeled her out and helped her get her balance. She won't be back for the sequel. This is a sad day. TMZ reports:

Sources connected to the production tell TMZ … producers had a meeting this past week to discuss plans for the New York-based sequel — and the only actor they want back for round 2 is Ian Ziering. Of course, Ian slaughtered more sharks than anyone in the original — killing fish from Santa Monica to Beverly Hills and even into THE VALLEY!! Tara played Ian's estranged wife in the flick — and survived the massive shark attack (even when the sharks broke into her HOUSE!!) — but Sharknado 2 is not in her future. As for Ian, sources say both he and Tara scored around $50k for Part 1.  Ian should rake in a lot more for the sequel.  And good news … we're guessing he's available.

Sharknado 2 will the Empire Strikes Back of sharks in tornado movies, so they have to cast this right. My I suggest Candace Cameron as lesbian marine biologist who is running from her past. And Luke Perry as a renegade cop who is battling his inner demons and his ex-wife in court when the unthinkable strikes. And Alyssa Milano as an aging stripper who won't let this happen again. I've spent way too much time thinking about this.

  Sharknado, Syfy's instant masterpiece about a tornado filled with sharks and the actors who haven't worked since the 90s who fight them, is by far the most culturally significant…

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Christina Aguilera Looks Like This NowBy toddJuly 29, 2013

Remember last year when Christina Aguilera would stab you in the throat for the last donut then drain you of your blood to cover her nachos? Well apparently she's been on a diet, because she showed up to NBC's TCA Summer Press Tour this weekend looking like this. "This" being more aesthically pleasing as to encourage penetration. Penetration from my penis. I'd put my genie in her bottle again AWWWW YEAH, SON. NAILED IT!

Remember last year when Christina Aguilera would stab you in the throat for the last donut then drain you of your blood to cover her nachos? Well apparently she's been…

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