Anastasia Ashley Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddFebruary 27, 2014
Anastasia Ashley Says Good Morning, Links

 

Paula Deen is still an idiot [Dlisted]

Carol Alt doesn't get Kate Upton [Fishwrapper]

Alicia Roundtree is see through [Taxi Driver Movie]

Bill Hicks has been dead 20 years [The Superficial]

Alyssa Miller in lingerie [Hollywood Tuna]

Olivia Wilde is really damn pregnant [Popoholic]

Kate Moss is naked [Drunken Stepfather]

Miley caused the Robin Thicke/Paula Patton divorce [TMZ]

Allison Williams got engaged to a hipster [Celebitchy]

Minka Kelly in yoga pants [Moe Jackson]

Las Vegas odds for the Oscars [Film Drunk]

Lea Michele is still trying to be sexy [Celebslam]

 

pic source = Instagram

  Paula Deen is still an idiot [Dlisted] Carol Alt doesn't get Kate Upton [Fishwrapper] Alicia Roundtree is see through [Taxi Driver Movie] Bill Hicks has been dead 20 years…

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Happy Turkey Holocaust Day, Everyone!By toddNovember 23, 2011

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I realize black people complain a lot about slavery and all that working for free stuff, but keep in mind, they got a free cruise to America. But what did my people get? Some blankets? What’s up with that? I dare you to go on Amazon right now and compare the price of a cruise to a blanket. Granted, you might have to adjust the cost when you add smallpox to it, but still. That doesn’t seem fair. I guess the whole point of this is to let you know we’ll be back on Monday, so you all can enjoy a day of thanks. And by “thanks”, I mean be thankful that you have a day off to watch football because we saved you from starvation to give you the energy to rape everybody and burn down shit. Also, I have Green Bay at -6 1/2.

I realize black people complain a lot about slavery and all that working for free stuff, but keep in mind, they got a free cruise to America. But what did…

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Party In The USABy jessNovember 23, 2011

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Kelly Osbourne is throwing Miley Cyrus a birthday party. It’s a slow news day. E! Online reports:

“It’s intimate, but it’s going to be the sickest thing she’s ever seen in her life,” Osbourne tells us exclusively. “Although I see her on the same level mentally as me, I also realize that Miley’s 19 and she deserves to still have fun,” the 27-year-old Fashion Police host said of her So Undercover costar. “Because that girl has so much pressure on her and has worked her ass off her entire life that I think a lot of the time people forget that she deserves to have fun too. So that was my mission for her, to make her birthday…the best day ever.” Osbourne stayed tight-lipped on specifics but did tease, “I’ve got all sorts of madness and craziness.” Osbourne says she’s been planning the party for days and was even at the event venue until 11 p.m. on Monday working everything out.

Considering the amount of time Kelly Osbourne’s spent in rehab and the amount of shit Miley Cyrus got for smoking something legal, I can’t wait to see what kind of madness and craziness they’ll get into. I bet it’ll involve pie and talking shit about people more relevant than they are. Or maybe pie baked into a cake and talking shit about their dads and people more relevant than they are. Those girls know how to rage!

Kelly Osbourne is throwing Miley Cyrus a birthday party. It’s a slow news day. E! Online reports: “It’s intimate, but it’s going to be the sickest thing she’s ever seen…

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Rob Kardashian Is No Longer Dancing. Or Anything Else Really.By toddNovember 23, 2011

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Considered a lock to win Dancing With The Stars due to his sisters’ incessant begging and cheating on Twitter, Rob Kardashian‘s dream of finally achieving something in his life were washed away like the 9th Ward last night because people hate his sister and his whole family. People reports:

After Ricki Lake, 43, was eliminated earlier in the show, Rob Kardashian, 24, the reality TV brother often overshadowed by his famous – and infamous – older sisters went against J.R. Martinez, 28, the soldier-turned-actor whose triumph over severe burns received in Iraq brought raw emotion to the ballroom. For their final dance, a samba which both couples had to choreograph on the fly, each earned perfect scores, leaving Kardashian with a one point lead after two nights of competition. But the judges’ scores make up only half the final results. Once the viewers’ votes were tabulated, the winner was determined. It was J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff!

And like any good Kardashian, Rob was gracious in defeat and didn’t at all make it about him.

Runner-up Rob Kardashian, who was paired with Cheryl Burke, echoed Martinez’s celebratory sentiments. “I’m super thankful,” he said, after the results were announced. “This is such a crazy experience. I’m definitely not sad. I won in my book.

I’m sure you’re right, Rob. When your mom writes another book she’ll say you won, so don’t worry. Look, Rob Kardashian is a 24-year old fuckup who lives with his sister and is only famous because he happens to share the last name of his other sister who took a load in the mouth on camera. So he’s on TV a lot. The people occupying Cairo’s Tahrir Square are on TV a lot too, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I should be texting in my vote because I enjoyed their foxtrot.

Considered a lock to win Dancing With The Stars due to his sisters’ incessant begging and cheating on Twitter, Rob Kardashian‘s dream of finally achieving something in his life were…

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Oh, Of CourseBy toddNovember 22, 2011

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I assume when Kris Jenner initially tried to plant this story that she said Kris Humphries tied Kim Kardashian to a railroad track then twirled his mustache, but Us Weekly said that might sound too unbelievable. Us Weekly reports:

Kim Kardashian has been raked over the coals in the court of public opinion ever since she filed for divorce from Kris Humphries Oct. 31. But the real villain in the 72-day marriage, pals tell the new Us Weekly, was out-of-work NBA star Humphries, 26. After lavishly tying the knot Aug. 20, Kardashian’s hubby soaked up the perks of being married to one of the most successful reality stars ever — staying out late at clubs in NYC and L.A., and demanding free bottle service and more wherever he went. Even worse? He could be downright cruel to Kardashian, 31. “He belittled her in front of people,” one insider tells Us. “He’d call her stupid. It was truly sickening.” The source adds that Humphries resented his wife’s fame and fortune. “He tried to control Kim by bringing her down…He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.” He even took exception to her world-famous posterior, calling her “fat ass,” the source says.

So what you’re expected to believe is that Kim Kardashian got married for love with the love of her life, then the day they got married Kris Humphries turned into an abusive, jackass who belittled her at every turn and she lived the next 72 days in a constant hell. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the tsunami of a backlash that she’s facing and the fact that she’s desperately trying to deflect blame any way that she can. Of course not. I’m sure it has nothing to do with that.

Note: If you have any delusions about this being about anything other than what I just said, stop pouting and read this.

I assume when Kris Jenner initially tried to plant this story that she said Kris Humphries tied Kim Kardashian to a railroad track then twirled his mustache, but Us Weekly…

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Adriana LinkaBy jessNovember 22, 2011

Chloe Sims nip slip [Taxidriver Movie]
Leighton Meester > Blake Lively [The Superficial]
Katy Perry‘s claim to fame [Popoholic]
Ashley Greene in Esquire Mexico [Drunken Stepfather]
Stacy Keibler probably likes it rough [Celebitchy]
Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are affectionate [The Blemish]
Tool Academy Girls in lingerie [Zoo Today]
Bree Condon and more in bikinis [Coed Magazine]
Paris Hilton has herpes, scoliosis [Cityrag]
Christina Aguilera is missing something [Dlisted]
Miranda Kerr photo shoot in NYC [Moe Jackson]
Annalynne McCord in blue [I’m Not Obsessed]
Katy Perry may be pregnant [Popbytes]
Kelly Brook‘s sci-fi flick cleavage [Egotastic]
Lady Gaga‘s dad gets half of her money [Allie Is Wired]
Hot girls with random facts [The Chive]
Beyonce is an Old Hollywood stripper [Popcrush]
Justin Bieber confirms everything [A Socialite’s Life]
Demi Moore sounds like a delight [Amy Grindhouse]
2gether is reuniting. Except the dead one [Tabloid Prodigy]
Michael Fassbender and a lot of peen [Best Week Ever]
Angelina Jolie is obsessive [Huffington Post]
Sarah Hyland only looks 12 [Hollywood Tuna]
Batman vs. Bane? [Celebuzz]
Ashton Kutcher is honest [Celebslam]
Kristen Wiig is Bro of the Year [Evil Beet]

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Chloe Sims nip slip [Taxidriver Movie] Leighton Meester > Blake Lively [The Superficial] Katy Perry‘s claim to fame [Popoholic] Ashley Greene in Esquire Mexico [Drunken Stepfather] Stacy Keibler probably likes…

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Katy Perry Says She’s Just Pregnant With In-N-OutBy toddNovember 22, 2011

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1.) Give an interview and say you want to have lots of kids 2.) Show up to two recent events and have people question whether or not you’re pregnant 3.) Deny pregnancy rumors and blame it on food 4.) Keep denying until you land an exclusive with People or Us Weekly 5.) I’m rich, bitch! People reports:

The rumors swirled after Perry’s outfit at the AMAs seemed to show a little bump, but Perry assured them any protrusion was just due to diet. “I like In-N-Out Burger and Taco Bell and if you want to make that pregnant that’s your problem,” she told The Insider. Among her other thoughts on pregnancy: “I still love drinking alcohol so not yet.” During a concert at Madison Square Garden last week, Perry joked to the crowd that if she was rubbing her “bloated belly” during the show, it wasn’t because she’s about to be a mom. She said she had just been having too much fun sampling the “delicious” food in and around New York City.

Due to his X-Man power of being able to see an unborn fetus through a woman’s stomach with only the aid of hi-res pictures, The Superficial basically started these rumors, so who says bloggers aren’t influential? Why, just yesterday the letter I wrote to the editor of Cat Fancy was published.

1.) Give an interview and say you want to have lots of kids 2.) Show up to two recent events and have people question whether or not you’re pregnant 3.)…

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Ashley Greene Does Esquire MexicoBy toddNovember 22, 2011

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Unless somebody dies or Usher gets Justin Bieber pregnant finally, this week is gonna be boring. Which is works out for me because I get to post pics of Ashley Greene in the November 2011 issue of Esquire Mexico. I don’t know what any of these words say, but I assume it’s how much she loves me and how she can’t wait until we have babies that we can sell and split the money because millionaire celebrities like adopting brown babies. We can rub dirt on its face and wrap him up in one of my t-shirts. You know, just to play it up the whole sympathy thing. I have other things we can do that I was gonna tell you about, but I have it saved on a PowerPoint presentation on my other computer. Sorry.

Unless somebody dies or Usher gets Justin Bieber pregnant finally, this week is gonna be boring. Which is works out for me because I get to post pics of Ashley…

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