Lindsay’s Machete Poster Is ShockingBy toddJuly 14, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

Lindsay’s character poster for Machete came out yesterday, and as you can see, she plays a nun who likes to lick things. OMG, did you see what they did there?! It’s Lindsay Lohan, but she’s playing a nun! A sexy nun! You see, Lindsay Lohan is a whore in real life, but she’s playing a nun! Man, I totally didn’t see that coming!

Lindsay’s character poster for Machete came out yesterday, and as you can see, she plays a nun who likes to lick things. OMG, did you see what they did there?!…

Related Posts:

Tags:
IDLYITW News: News All AroundBy toddJuly 13, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

There’s a lot of crap going on right now, so instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsensical posts, I thought I’d drop it all into one. What? “A bunch of nonsensical posts”? Yes, I know that’s what the site is already! Why don’t you….well, if you think…oh, just leave me alone!!

IDLYITW T-Shirt Model Contest is now closed: I’d like to thank everyone who disappointed their fathers and sent in pics for the t-shirt contest. We got so many emails that I needed to hire ten Haitian kids to help me pick the winners, but they just ended up beating their computers with sticks and worshiping the light switch. Maybe that was a bad idea. In the end, some of our submissions included emails from an Ivy-league member of a feminist group, a country singer/model, a paramedic, an entire sorority house, a pagan who is involved in the PTA, a pair of twins, a mother/daughter team, a professional dance instructor, a college cheerleader, a horror movie scream queen who is getting her MBA, two chicks who have been in Maxim, my ex-girlfriend, and a porn star. As soon as the final results are tallied, I’ll post the winners. As you can see, the banner is of my unrequited love, Kasey. Seriously, five separate things in this picture make me want to call my mother and a wedding planner.

Sophie Turner agreed to an interview: Through the magic of Facebook and email, I asked Sophie Turner if she would give the site an interview. She agreed. Surprisingly, she’s really cool and actually really funny. But we really don’t care about that, do we?

I’m taking questions: I get emails everyday asking me random questions. Too many times these emails get mixed up with my eHarmony and penis enlargement emails, so to keep them organized (and to let you share in my pain) I started a Formspring (better, jackass?) HERE. So feel free to ask a question, and I promise I will answer. As it says, ask me anything. Questions about your life? Will you get that promotion? Is your sister a dead lay? What’s up with that black guy? Ask me now!

There’s a lot of crap going on right now, so instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsensical posts, I thought I’d drop it all into one. What? “A…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Michael Jackson’s Burial Is PostponedBy toddAugust 20, 2009

Because sixty days apparently isn’t enough time to bury somebody, Joe Jackson says his son’s burial has been postponed two days. TMZ reports:

Michael Jackson’s burial is being postponed two days, according to his dad. Joe Jackson tells TMZ the burial has been pushed to August 31, because there are things the family needs to get in order before Michael is laid to rest. Jackson was scheduled to be buried on August 29, what would have been his 51st birthday.

Even though I have no issue calling Michael Jackson a drug-addict child molester, you’d think his father would at least show his own kid some dignity after his death that he never showed him in life. He’s dead. Time to let it go. I’m mean, it’s not like it would be hard. He’s probably a (more…)

Because sixty days apparently isn’t enough time to bury somebody, Joe Jackson says his son’s burial has been postponed two days. TMZ reports: Michael Jackson’s burial is being postponed two…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Keira Knightley Is ToplessBy toddAugust 18, 2009

I have no idea how Keira Knightley being topless with suspenders over her nipples is gonna make me want to smell spicy and floral with notes of amber, but hey, whatever man.

I have no idea how Keira Knightley being topless with suspenders over her nipples is gonna make me want to smell spicy and floral with notes of amber, but hey,…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Michael Jackson Isn’t Buried YetBy toddAugust 18, 2009

[SinglePic not found]

Entertainment Tonight ran a story eight days ago called “Confirmed: Michael Jackson Laid to Rest”. Well, apparently that was news to Joe Jackson, because he says Michael will be buried in Los Angeles on August 29th (the singer’s birthday). New York Daily News reports:

The King of Pop will finally be laid to rest. Or so says his dad. Michael Jackson will be buried in Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles at 10 a.m. on Aug. 29 on what would have been the King of Pop’s 51st birthday, Joe Jackson told Steve Friess, the Daily News’ man in Las Vegas. The elder Jackson indicated that the burial plans had been made final just in the past few days. He discussed the burial over ribs and jalapeƱo corn bread at the poolside Simon at Palms Place at the Palms hotel and casino.

Please keep in mind that Michael Jackson died on June 25th. June. The 25th. What the fuck are they doing, an alien autopsy? Why is this shit taking 60 days? I don’t keep milk in my refrigerator this long. Do they think he’s gonna rise from the dead? Because if he does, I can only assume being a reanimated corpse carrying a monkey in a diaper and a bag of candy might not be that inviting to little boys.

Entertainment Tonight ran a story eight days ago called “Confirmed: Michael Jackson Laid to Rest”. Well, apparently that was news to Joe Jackson, because he says Michael will be buried…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Yes Thank YouBy toddAugust 17, 2009

[Gallery not found]

These pictures were labeled “UK TV Star Michelle Keegan In a Bikini”, but I have no idea what a “UK TV star” or a “Michelle Keegan” is, so I’ll just take their word for it. All I know is that she’s a skinny brunette with big tits who doesn’t have to stand on the surface of the sun to get a tan. She might as well be Mary Poppins because that’s probably the most magical thing you’d see on that beach all day.

These pictures were labeled “UK TV Star Michelle Keegan In a Bikini”, but I have no idea what a “UK TV star” or a “Michelle Keegan” is, so I’ll just…
Tags:
You’re Not Gonna Believe ThisBy toddAugust 17, 2009
[Gallery not found]

You might want to sit down for this, but America’s beloved actress Gwyneth Paltrow is acting like a raging bitch on the set of Iron Man 2. I know, I know. Breathe. C’mon, breathe. Fox News reports:

A source says some of the “Iron Man” team had secret hopes of her character being recast, or even killed in the movie, but are resigned to the likelihood that she is locked in as the character Pepper Potts. Gwyneth did nothing to make friends with fellow superhero Scarlett Johansson, playing the Black Widow, says the insider, and crew actually preferred to be around her husband, Coldplay frontman, Chris Martin. “Gwyneth is extremely cool at work. She’s just a step above professional, too snobby,” the on-set source tells FOX411. “Gwyneth is not friendly to anyone, and tends to make people feel awkward and uncomfortable. She wasn’t outright rude to Scarlett, she just didn’t ever speak to her. Gwyneth went out of her way to avoid Scarlett, and they had zero contact, at Gwyneth’s choosing.” The source says that she also put undue pressure on the hair and makeup staff and other members of the crew. “Gwyneth would be very put out if hair and makeup were running behind or things were not on schedule. Usually, nothing was drastically late, but Gwyneth can instantly say something that lets everyone know she is put out,” the source explains. “Much of the crew didn’t mind hanging out with her husband, Chris, but if Gwyneth ever came around, they scattered! Chris is so chill and relaxed and she is just the opposite. Chris has been a crew favorite since the filming of the first movie.” And while the insider says there are definitely people on the movie who would love to see her replaced, Pepper Potts is a very important character to Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark. “She is not going anywhere,” sighs the source. “As long as Gwyneth wants to be in the movies, she will be, and the crew has to learn how to handle her.”

Seriously, is there even any reason Gwyneth Paltrow is even in movies besides her famous parents using their Hollywood connections like high-speed internet? She can’t act, she’s ugly, freakishly pale, and I’d rather hear the a doctor tell me he’s gonna have to amputate that hear this bitch’s annoying ass voice. If her parents weren’t Bruce Paltrow and Blythe Danner, she’d be asking me if she could box up my steak at Outback. Why, yes. Yes, you could.


Note
: And don’t please justify the reasons for why she can act because she won an Oscar. Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar too, so let’s don’t get carried away.

You might want to sit down for this, but America’s beloved actress Gwyneth Paltrow is acting like a raging bitch on the set of Iron Man 2. I know, I…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,