If told me that in 2018 a person who didn’t work in the White House would bring shame and embarrassment to America, I wouldn’t have believed you. Now that we know it was Fergie, it kinda makes sense in retrospect. Anyway, her National Anthem performancewas so bad, she had to release a statement to TMZ.
“I’ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA. I’m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn’t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.“
Like, did you though? If this was your best, maybe decline the offer and let a cat being strangled give it a shot.
According to Mueller, we’re pretty much all Russian bots now because we mostly get our news from memes, so I’m not sure if a movie glamorizing the effectiveness of a Russian spy is what Hollywood needs to be sending out into the world right now, but here we are. Jennifer Lawrence attended the Red Sparrow photocall with her boobs out to distract us from the fact that she’s a Russian spy in the movie. She really has a career in politics.
It’s easy to forget to how hot Christina Aguilera was before the Latin genes and having a bunch of kids caught up to her, but she wants to remind you in Instagram with a few pics in black and white that she took in very low lighting with several filters. You know, much like your Instagram pics. The rack still looks great and what an amazing bathtub. Very decadent.
Black Panther is making all the money right now and Disney has pledged to take 25% of the profits to help the black community. Haha jk, Disney is going to keep all of it because they are a soulless media conglomerate. Wakanda profits forever. But Chadwick Boseman and director Ryan Coogler are profiled (in a good way) in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, and that’s really great. You should also see the movie, because it’s also pretty great except the CGI.
Man, what a wild Black History Month it’s been so far. The 2018 NBA All-Star Game was last night and Fergie paid tribute to famous black singer Jessica Rabbit with her stunning rendition of the National Anthem. After performing, Fergie immediately fled the country and is now seeking asylum at the Embassy of Ecuador in London. My sources haven’t confirmed this yet, but she probably also deleted her Twitter.
Man, what a wild Black History Month it’s been so far. The 2018 NBA All-Star Game was last night and Fergie paid tribute to famous black singer Jessica Rabbit…
Jennifer Lawrence basically plays John Wick in Red Sparrow, but since it’s a woman John Wick, Hollywood had to make her a prostitute instead of just a woman John Wick. Oh, I’m sorry. They made her a “seductive Russian spy.” Not the same thing. My apologies. I remember in Taken when Liam Neeson had to put on a low cut dress and give one of those guys a handjob to find out where his daughter was. Pretty intense scene. Also, lol at Jennifer Lawrence’s Russian accent.
It’s that time of year again, Rihanna is at Crop Over. Crop Over is something they do in Barbados that we only know about because Rihanna goes every year and dresses like this. If elected, I will make this a national holiday. Rihanna looks so hot here even Chris Brown commented. He also nearly beat her to death because she asked who he was texting one time. Not sure why he’s allowed to comment. Maybe she should try blocking him at least once.
So, Aaron Carter came out as bisexual on Twitter this weekend. Then his girlfriend broke up with him the next day. I guess she’s homophobic or biphobic or whatever new term that’s dropped on Tumblr that I don’t know about yet.
Aaron Carter and his girlfriend, Madison Parker, have split, Us Weeklycan confirm. A source close to the couple tells Us that the pair, who began dating at the end of last year, have gone their separate ways. “The split was very amicable,” the source says. “Aaron is continuing to focus on his personal self with regards to his truth, health and music.”
I assume Aaron Carter still wants to bang Hilary Duff, because who wouldn’t want to bang this piece of ass and inferiority complex disguised as empowerment?
But good for Aaron. Live your truth, buddy. In 2017, probably the best way for people to forget you’re a horrible person is to come out as gay/bisexual or become a woman. It worked for Caitlyn Jenner for like three weeks. She even got a Vanity Fair cover and got to kill someone.
So, Aaron Carter came out as bisexual on Twitter this weekend. Then his girlfriend broke up with him the next day. I guess she’s homophobic or biphobic or whatever new…
Amber Heard wanted $50K a month from Johnny Depp, but started dating Elon Musk who is worth $12B. That come up was short lived, because Musk dumped her last week.
Heard, 31, is ‘devastated’ after tech tycoon Elon Musk ended their year-long romance. Last night a source told The Mail on Sunday: ‘It’s all over between Amber and Elon and she’s devastated. It was his decision. ‘He ended it a week ago. He’d heard certain things about her behaviour that didn’t sit well with him. ‘Amber can be very manipulative and selfish. Elon’s back in LA while she’s licking her wounds in Australia.’
Two thing you can believe at the same time: 1.) Johnny Depp abused Amber Heard 2.) Amber Heard is a manipulative asshole. You can believe those to things remembering how their divorce went down. And that’s ok. Maybe that’s her thing. She’s a hot blonde and I assume hot blondes think that will work for them. But for unfortunately for Amber, she has to cancel her plan to be the first person to spend money on Mars. She’ll just have to be okay with being in Justice League, which from what I’ve heard, already has a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes.
This actually took longer than I had initially expected. I thought this was gonna come after Jurassic World to be honest. In 2009, Chris Pratt was fat gay playing a dumbass on a TV show. In 2017, he’s a ripped international movie star with a star on Hollywood Walk Of Fame. You can’t really wake up to Anna Faris every morning after that. That’s just basic man science.