Angelina Attempted Suicide!By toddDecember 16, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Apparently falling into a deep depression after Brad Pitt moved out to film a movie, Angelina Jolie tried to kill herself. “Wait, what now? Dude,” my penis said as he lifted his head up from his nap. The National Enquirer reports:

The sultry brunette beauty confessed to Brad that she was afraid her suicidal tendencies would return after learning that he’d made plans to move out
on his own, according to insiders. But the big-screen hunk assured her the separation would be temporary, and their love would survive the split, sources say. “Brad was in France checking on their chateau recently, and Angelina was in Los Angeles with the kids when she called him in a panic,” a friend divulged. “She told him, ‘When you’re not around, I get these terrible feelings. I got the same feelings when I was younger, and that’s when I tried to kill myself.’ “Angelina said, ‘I feel lost without you – like I’m being abandoned.'” But Brad, 46, immediately reassured the high-strung Angelina that he wasn’t leaving her for good, even though he’ll be living apart from her and their six children while they work on separate movie projects, the friend revealed. “Brad quickly calmed Angelina down. “I’ll always be there for you and the kids. I promise.'”

I guess there are worse things than being known as the guy who made one of the most beautiful women in the world try to kill themselves because you said you were leaving for a few months. I can see how that would be a good pick up line.

Apparently falling into a deep depression after Brad Pitt moved out to film a movie, Angelina Jolie tried to kill herself. “Wait, what now? Dude,” my penis said as he…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Yes PleaseBy toddDecember 15, 2009
[Gallery not found]

I never knew what Hitler’s doctors were talking about before, but after seeing these pictures of Marisa Miller backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, if eugenics had a page on Facebook I’d become a fan.

I never knew what Hitler’s doctors were talking about before, but after seeing these pictures of Marisa Miller backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, if eugenics had a page…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Christmas Is EarlyBy toddDecember 15, 2009

Despite being the greatest publication in the history of the world, Nuts Magazine might convert intergalactic warlords to Christianity by dressing up Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones in Santa's Little Helper outfits. Which of course they immediately take off. Like I did after my conversation with Megan Fox yesterday when she told me I got her pregnant. Then I hung up. You can't live in the past, man.

Despite being the greatest publication in the history of the world, Nuts Magazine might convert intergalactic warlords to Christianity by dressing up Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones in Santa's Little…

Related Posts:

Tags: , , , ,
Director’s Cut Of 3By toddDecember 15, 2009

[Gallery not found]


I have no idea who directed the original video for Britney Spears’ 3 and this cut, but he must be some mystical warlock or lord of illusion with powers over reality itself, because he just made me want to fuck Britney Spears just now:

Why you shouldn’t eat cheetos:

I have no idea who directed the original video for Britney Spears’ 3 and this cut, but he must be some mystical warlock or lord of illusion with powers over…

Related Posts:

Tags: