McAvoy and Fassbender Doing Stewart And McKellan Impressions Is The GreatestBy toddMay 30, 2014

 

There's really not much I can say about this video of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender doing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan impressions except that it is great.So great that I watched it twice. To make you understand what that mean, a chick just walked into the coffee shop in yoga shorts and I only looked at her once.

  There's really not much I can say about this video of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender doing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan impressions except that it is great.So great…

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The MPAA Banned This Poster For ‘Sin City 2’By toddMay 30, 2014
The MPAA Banned This Poster For ‘Sin City 2’

 

The Motion Picture Association of America, and their irrational fear of the female body and orgasm, have took it upon themselves to ban this poster for Sin City 2 that depicts Eva Green and her boobs for being "too racy". Please keep in mind that we all just saw Hugh Jackman's naked ass in X-Men: Days Of Future Past for no other reason than "hey, look. here's Hugh Jackman's naked ass". But you show a hint of titty and the world might collapse on itself. I happen to enjoy breasts a great deal, as do a lot of people. The female form is the most beautiful thing that has ever been created or ever will be created. That's why there's 7 billion of us living here right now. The only reason I ever pull out now is because I'm trying to improve my credit score.

  The Motion Picture Association of America, and their irrational fear of the female body and orgasm, have took it upon themselves to ban this poster for Sin City 2…

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Ex-Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Bought The Clippers For $2BBy toddMay 30, 2014
Ex-Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Bought The Clippers For $2B

 

"Now hear me out on this…'The Los Angeles Cliparts'''

 

Yay! Billionaire white dudes ftw.

Steve Ballmer won the bidding war to buy the Clippers for $2 billion, although other NBA owners and possibly Donald Sterling must still approve any sale. But Ballmer clearly has the money to buy the team — he amassed his fortune as a longtime executive of software giant Microsoft Corp. Forbes estimates Ballmer's net worth totals $20 billion, mainly because of the Microsoft stock he owns, ranking him 35th among the world's billionaires This isn't the first time Ballmer has pursued an NBA franchise.

Steve Ballmer has tried twice before to buy an NBA franchise, one time he tried to buy the Milawukee Bucks, so it's pretty clear that he really, really wants to own an NBA team, and it doesn't particulary matter which one. The $2B he paid for the Los Angeles Clippers is almost FOUR TIMES more that the previous record NBA purchase price. I could sit here and say that's a bad business decision, but I pretty much do the same thing at Starbucks everyday,

  "Now hear me out on this…'The Los Angeles Cliparts'''   Yay! Billionaire white dudes ftw. Steve Ballmer won the bidding war to buy the Clippers for $2 billion, although…

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Real DumbBy toddMay 30, 2014
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Real Dumb

 

Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow gives an interview, you can expect her to say dumb shit that has no basis in reality or reason, so when she compared mean Internet comments to surviving a war, everybody went crazy because we all still live in a paradigm where war is still considered a noble and heroic thing.

She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war. “You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it,” she said. “My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”

You can look it up, but Paltrow basically attended a hippie commune instead of a high school, and her "next level of conscience" is when she finds room to shove more of her head of up her own ass, so she's been out of touch with reality for long time now. But comparing reading mean comments to a soldier's life? That's just ignorant. Paltrow knows nothing about military life. For instance, I assume Paltrow has great healthcare and when Chris Martin went on tour she never cheated on him.

  Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow gives an interview, you can expect her to say dumb shit that has no basis in reality or reason, so when she compared mean Internet comments…

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I Guess I Should Post Those Scout Willis Topless PicsBy toddMay 29, 2014
I Guess I Should Post Those Scout Willis Topless Pics

 

Scout Willis posted topless pictures of herself walking around NYC yesterday (you can see the hi-res NSFW versions here and here) because something about an Instagram policy about nipples or something like that. I don't know. I think it was about nipples, because 22-year old, rich white girls like raging against stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things like public nipples, gluten free cookies, and dolphins. But she's right. That's why shows like Teen Mom and Girls Gone Wild and porn are so beneficial to our society. They teach women to be empowered and not exploited and not to let their lives be dictated by what the patriachy says, because…no, wait. Let me start over.

 

 

Scout Willis Topless

  Scout Willis posted topless pictures of herself walking around NYC yesterday (you can see the hi-res NSFW versions here and here) because something about an Instagram policy about nipples…

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Aaron Hernandez Killed Those Two Dudes in 2012 Because They Spilled His DrinkBy toddMay 29, 2014
Aaron Hernandez Killed Those Two Dudes in 2012 Because They Spilled His Drink

 

Aaron Hernandez leads all NFL tight ends in overreactions.

Aaron Hernandez was arraigned today for the drive-by murders of Daniel Abreu and Safiro Furtado outside a Boston club in July 2012. He pleaded not guilty, and for the first time, the prosecution offered a suspected motive: disrespect. According to the D.A., Abreu accidentally bumped into Hernandez, spilling a drink, and did not apologize. This infuriated Hernandez, who according to the prosecution felt he had been increasingly disrespected at clubs. Surveillance video captured Hernandez angrily pacing outside the club before the victims left. The victims had no idea Hernandez was angry at them, let alone that he was following them when they left the club. According to the prosecution, Hernandez pulled up alongside their car at a stop light, said "Yo, what's up now, [racial slur]?" and fired at least five shots.

Damn, homey. Stalking someone and shooting them at point blank range seems like a perfectly sane response to someone accidentally bumping into you in a crowded club. You signed a 5-year extension with the Patriots that included the largest signing bonus ever given to a tight end in NFL history the month before, so why not kill two people because they didn't apologize? Money isn't everything. You deserve respect. But I'm not sure how much you're gonna get in America, bro. You had a bunch of guns, but you only managed to kill like what, three people total? What's up with that? Kinda amateur. Sorry.

  Aaron Hernandez leads all NFL tight ends in overreactions. Aaron Hernandez was arraigned today for the drive-by murders of Daniel Abreu and Safiro Furtado outside a Boston club in…

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