Kourtney Kardashian Was On Some Soap OperaBy toddMarch 30, 2011

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Being on a soap opera and a “reality” television show is basically the same thing, but on a soap opera, they aren’t pretending that what you’re watching isn’t scripted. So, it just seems like a natural progression that one of the Kardashian whores would be on one. Specifically, Kourtney Kardashian. Her annoying, grating voice aside, you get to see what she looks like standing next to other humans. Is she walking on her knees? How short is this bitch? All this does is further prove my theory that Khloe was adopted from a shelter on Skull Island. And in case the words on the video didn’t give it away, Kourtney’s character’s name is “Kassandra Kavanaugh”. And her actual dialogue is “Kassandra Kavanaugh, with two K’s”. What the fuck does that even mean? What has two K’s? Kassandra or Kavanaugh? Whatever. Just add this to the list of things this chick sucks at in life. With her dipshit husband and baby who looks like a sleeper cell Al-Qaeda. If they wanted me to watch this shit, they should have named it Kourtney and Kim Take Fukushima.

Yeah, so…maybe that 5th cup of coffee wasn’t the best idea.

Being on a soap opera and a “reality” television show is basically the same thing, but on a soap opera, they aren’t pretending that what you’re watching isn’t scripted. So,…

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Rihanna: “We Don’t Have To Talk Ever Again In My Life”By toddMarch 30, 2011

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While Chris Brown is busy pretending she never existed and was just a fabrication of the biased media to keep his shitty album from selling, Rihanna did an interview with Rolling Stone where she speaks in depth on Chris Brown, crying, and rough sex.

Her feelings on Chris Brown:

“We don’t have to talk ever again in my life,” she says. “I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did was a personal thing – it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can’t perform at awards shows – that definitely made it difficult for him.”..”That’s my decision,” she says. “It doesn’t mean we’re gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn’t want to object to the judge.”

On how she coped after getting beat like a runaway slave:

“I put my guard up so hard,” she says. “I didn’t want people to see me cry. I didn’t want people to feel bad for me. It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, ‘I’m fine, I’m tough.’ I put that up until it felt real.”

Her thoughts on rough sex or the excuse Chris Brown fans will need to justify supporting a woman beater:

“Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun,” she says. “You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That’s fun to me…I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

Well, it seems like she hasn’t forgiven him, but at the same time is making an effort to get on with her life. Music, movies, and who knows what else. Probably tarot cards. Because every time I hear Rihanna, I fully expect her to say, “DA CARDS DON’T LIE! CALL ME NOW FER YA FREE READIN’!” You know, or something like that.

While Chris Brown is busy pretending she never existed and was just a fabrication of the biased media to keep his shitty album from selling, Rihanna did an interview with…

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Pepsi Is Very SmartBy toddMarch 30, 2011

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Day two of legendary MILF (she has a 19-yr old son…) Sofia Vergara‘s shoot for a Pepsi commercial was yesterday, and when it finally comes out, I’ll probably never drink a Coke again. Because if you’ve ever seen a manhole cover explode into the air from enormous unseen pressure or watched a show on National Geographic about an erupting volcano that covers everything in it’s path with it’s hot, destructive power, then you’ve pretty much seen me jack off to Sofia Vergara.

Day two of legendary MILF (she has a 19-yr old son…) Sofia Vergara‘s shoot for a Pepsi commercial was yesterday, and when it finally comes out, I’ll probably never drink…

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Brooklyn Decker Changed BikinisBy toddMarch 29, 2011

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Brooklyn Decker is still in Miami and she was thoughtful enough to pack more than one bikini. But if the mom haircut wasn’t enough the first time, who is this damn kid? C’mon, Brooklyn. You know this site is no place for kids.

Brooklyn Decker is still in Miami and she was thoughtful enough to pack more than one bikini. But if the mom haircut wasn’t enough the first time, who is this…

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Charlie Sheen Starved His Dog To DeathBy toddMarch 29, 2011

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When Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorced, Sheen took their two pugs (Richards owned them before they were married) so their children could play with them during visits. But since Charlie Sheen is a psychotic drug addict with no sense of responsibility or humanity, Richards began receiving phone calls that the dogs were malnourished and neglected. So, like any good pet owner, she went to his house and took them back. Not one to let any opportunity to sound like a delusional jackass, Sheen immediately took to Twitter. TMZ reports:

“We must bombard with Warlock Napalm, that traitor and loser whore #DUH -neese POOR-ARD. A VILE KIDNAPPER AND NOW DOG THIEF. HATE.”

Sheen now reportedly wants the pugs back. However, he can have only one because THE OTHER ONE FUCKING DIED.

Things became so alarming, we’re told Denise went to Charlie’s and he gave her the dogs. Sadly, one of them died of malnutrition, but the other is ok.

Admittedly, this whole Charlie Sheen was funny for about a week. Then you immediately realized he wasn’t funny, he wasn’t some evolved human being, but just a cokehead in front of a live audience. Despite making millions of dollars an episode on Two And A Half Men, he’s reportedly cash poor (whores and blow are expensive, you know) and is doing anything he can to cash in or whatever the fuck he thinks he’s doing in his cracked out, paranoid mind. If this dude lives to be 90 or is found tomorrow impaled against a tree by a trident, I really don’t care. But if somebody wants to shoot him out of a cannon into a brick wall I might watch that on YouTube.

When Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorced, Sheen took their two pugs (Richards owned them before they were married) so their children could play with them during visits. But since…

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Britney Spears Was On GMA This MorningBy toddMarch 29, 2011


Britney Spears performed on Good Morning America in San Francisco this morning. And by “performed” I mean stood perfectly still and walked around and occasionally moved her arms and struggled to bend her fat ass over. Can’t she just be like Adele and sit in a chair the whole time from now on? She looked like a mom on Toddlers and Tiaras doing her daughter’s routine from the side of the stage.

Britney Spears performed on Good Morning America in San Francisco this morning. And by “performed” I mean stood perfectly still and walked around and occasionally moved her arms and struggled…

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Chris Brown Is An Overall Wonderful Human BeingBy toddMarch 28, 2011

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Not content to be just an unrepentant woman beater and spoiled child who throws violent and psychotic temper tantrums when someone has the audacity question his perfection, Chris Brown just moved into a West Hollywood condo building last month. And he’s already the greatest tenant ever! Radar Online reports:

“Chris Brown is a problematic tenant, to say the least,” the source says. “He has his posse traipsing around until the late hours of the night, he’s loud and totally disrespectful of his neighbors. “He’s driving the other tenants in the building crazy. The vast majority of the residents are professionals and they work during the day, so it’s important to them to get some rest at night and that’s proving difficult with the noise that’s being generated. “The building isn’t meant to be some kind of party house, the residents don’t want that and they don’t want to live in that kind of environment.” “The tenants are complaining about him and the noise he’s generating, they’ve even had to give him at least one warning. He needs to keep the volume down – people are sick of his behavior.” Brown spent close to $1.75 million on the 3,000 square foot, three bedroom, three-and-a-half bathroom penthouse condo, and only recently moved into the property. “It’s crazy,” the source says. “He just moved in around a month ago and he’s already received a warning. The tenants are just really worried – if he’s like this straight off the bat, they wonder if it’s going to get any worse.”

There’s really not much left to say about this asshole that hasn’t already been said, but has anybody mentioned dropping him off on an island where the worst prisoners are let loose to create an isolated barbaric society where the strongest men rule? No? Hmm, interesting. Someone should look into that.

Not content to be just an unrepentant woman beater and spoiled child who throws violent and psychotic temper tantrums when someone has the audacity question his perfection, Chris Brown just…

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A Guy On BET Was Shot And KilledBy toddMarch 28, 2011

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I’m going to lose a lot of my massive street cred by saying this, but I’ve never seen one episode of 106th and Park. But if you have, one of the shows regulars, DJ Megatron, was shot and killed in Staten Island early Sunday morning. TMZ reports:

DJ Megatron– a regular on the BET show “106th and Park” — was shot and killed in Staten Island early Sunday morning. Megatron — real name Corey McGriff — was shot around 2:00 AM, not far from his home. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

DJ Megatron, 32, worked for various hip-hop stations, with New York City’s HOT 97 his most high profile. Police have no suspects at this time but sources say they have identified DJ Optimus Prime as a person of interest. Oh, those two. Always getting into it!

I’m going to lose a lot of my massive street cred by saying this, but I’ve never seen one episode of 106th and Park. But if you have, one of…
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