Earlier this week, Ryan Lochte‘s mom told the media her son was robbed, the Brazilian authorities were like “sounds like bullshit”, then Ryan Locthe held a press conference to say he was robbed by people claiming to be Brazil police. Then he fled the country. The other two alleged victims, Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz, were physically removed from their flight and are now being detained by Brazilian authorities. Why? Because Brazil has the receipts. Specifically, the security footage of the men returning to the Olympic Village.
Kate Hudson has an amazing ass. We all know this. She knows that we know this. But isn’t California in the middle of a drought right now? I think what she’s doing here is very irresponsible. She could have used a penis and semen and the picture would still looked the same.
I guess Kendall Jenner being a model and stuff would make her the most famous E! spawn after the rest breed or Photoshop themselves into irrelevancy, but turns out all you have to do is change your name to Kylie Jenner and have an Instagram and take pictures like this. It’s also probably a good idea to tell everyone you know that you can’t wait to turn 18, because naked. Personally, I find this pretty offensive. Kylie is 17 and shouldn’t be *checks calendar* hey, let’s circle back to this in like 12 days or so.
Hulk Hogan said this as he put on a feather boa Dlisted
Nobody is listening to what you’re saying, Chloe Goodman (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie
Lots of pictures of Nina Dobrev‘s butt The Superficial
Nicole Scherzinger‘s boob fell out in Mykonos The Nip Slip
Anna Kendrick wears the most Anna Kendrick swimsuit DrunkenStepfather
Kendall Jenner‘s cameltoe could swallow you Popoholic
Zo Nowak is someone you should know Hollywood Tuna
Donald Trump just dropped 250,000 points in the latest poll Cele|bitchy
Rumer Willis spent Memorial Day in a bikini and laughed in God’s face she let a dude take a picture of her ass. I put her in my Google Alerts to see if she had been raped, but so far so good. But let’s get something straight right now, Rumer. God is not one to be mocked. Keep flaunting your flesh and God’s wrath will come down on you for such a grave sin. Unless, Bruce Willis becomes a minister at some point. Oh, and you gotta get that tattoo removed. That’s probably why you can’t walk on that water, bitch. You are of unclean spirit.
Legendary MILF Jessica Alba posed in a bunch of bikinis and swimsuits for Shape, so Satan must have been really busy at the Duggar’s house, because she seems really happy here with no signs of molestation. Luckily for these professionals that Satan didn’t put impure thoughts in these photographers’ heads or another logical explanation is that they could control themselves and stuff like normal people. Haha, oh the devil, always up to no good!
Last week we learned that if a Christian molests children, it’s just a simple mistake that can be corrected by building houses and praying very much like when Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski made errors in judgment. Josh Duggar is just a poor sinner who was tempted by the devil and his sisters who are all one big succubus of Satan and harlots for Beelzebub. He really had no choice but to sneak in their bedrooms are fondle them as they slept. And according to Josh Duggar’s father-in-law, Michael Seawald, we shouldn’t judge Josh, even though Josh has no issue judging strangers who don’t fondle children and just want to get married, because after all, Josh prayed a bunch, you guys. Also, did you know that we all want to molest kids, but God is judging us so we don’t? It’s true. Michael said so.
“Many times it is simply lack of opportunity or fear of consequences that keep us from falling into grievous sin even though our fallen hearts would love to indulge the flesh. We should not be shocked that this occurred in the Duggar’s home, we should rather be thankful to God if we have been spared such, and pray that he would keep us and our children from falling.”
Although I’ll give this dude a modicum of credit for being the fist person in this family that actually mentioned the victims, he can get the fuck out of here with the rest of it. I’m an atheist and I haven’t molested any kids. Why? Maybe because I wasn’t raised in a house where jacking off can send you to hell and sexual oppression is part of the curriculum that teaches homeschooled kids that Moses won WWII with just an eagle and a bible. Or maybe I’m just not a pervert in Arkansas who can’t let his underage sisters walk around in towels without trying to fuck them. Josh Duggar is a child molester. Plain and simple. No amount of praying or confessing is gonna make him less of sexual deviant. Also, what do you think of these pictures of Ariana Grande, Josh? Hahahahahaha, she’s 21!! Joke’s on you, buddy!
There isn’t really a scenario where Pamela Anderson won’t get naked if you ask, but she’s naked again for PETA for water or something. PETA says meat and dairy farms drain a third of the Earth’s water, but you know who has a better kill rate? PETA. A dog would have a better chance of surviving an IED attack than it would being adopted by PETA.
A Craigslist ad (that got deleted as I was writing this) was trying to sell you Emily Ratajkowski‘s used thong for $50. The guy who posted it said he didn’t bang her, so I guess that decreases it’s value? I’d pay $50 to see her actually wear a thong, so I know some Christian pastor would have paid at least $500 for it. Even if he had a profile on Grindr, he can probably appreciate fun and flirty fashion.