Miss California Stripped (Her Crown This Time)By toddJune 10, 2009

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Jesus freak and semi-nude model, Carrie Prejean, was stripped of her Miss California crown today for violating her contract after she refused to show up over 30 events on behalf of the Miss USA organization. Oh, and she hates the ghey. People reports:

“I told Carrie she needed to get back to work and honor her contract with the Miss California USA Organization and I gave her the opportunity to do so,” Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA and Miss Universe organizations, said in a statement. “Unfortunately it just doesn’t look like it is going to happen.”

But her inculcated Chiristian beliefs make her a caring and giving person still, right? Um, no:

Trump said: “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.”

Let’s face it, California is like Sodom and Gomorrah to the rest of the world, but sometimes change is coming and you can do nothing to stop it. For this bitch to use her platform and celebrity to tell other people how they should live and what they should and shouldn’t be doing, it’s really no surprise that she’s a massive cunt. Of course she is. Look, I would have an opinion about gay marriage, but I don’t really care. Let Gary and Steve get married if they love each other, because you know what, it won’t effect my life at all. Much unlike the real estate investment CD’s I ordered. Bob from TX generated $10,000 in income in May with no money down and no closing costs! Why wait? Live the life you want today!

Jesus freak and semi-nude model, Carrie Prejean, was stripped of her Miss California crown today for violating her contract after she refused to show up over 30 events on behalf…

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Gerard Butler Is A PrudeBy michelleJune 10, 2009

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Whilst scouring the interwebs for pictures of Gerard Butler on the beach, I realized something. He does not remove his shirt at the beach. Ever. What the fuck, Leonidas? This is madness. Is this your “Tonight….we dine…..at Denny’s!” look?

Whilst scouring the interwebs for pictures of Gerard Butler on the beach, I realized something. He does not remove his shirt at the beach. Ever. What the fuck, Leonidas? This…

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Jessica Alba Is A VandalBy michelleJune 09, 2009

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Jessica Alba defaced a bunch of shit in Oklahoma City with posters of great white sharks in order to raise awareness. From TMZ:

One of the spots she’s accused of tagging was a billboard for the United Way. A rep for the non-profit organization told us although the billboard was donated, they’ll probably have to pay out of their own pocket to replace it. Either way, the U.W. said, “We remain focused on our work rather than this minor distraction.” So far, cops say no one has filed charges against Alba.

The dumbest thing about this is that they are just pictures of sharks. No message or anything. What is she trying to tell you about sharks? They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it? Sharks Against War? For just 65 cents a day, you can provide food, shelter, medicine and education to a great white shark? Maybe it is just a picture of a shark, because not unlike bacon, sharks make everything exponentially more awesome.

I Googled “great white shark”, and do you know what I found? I found this story about Jessica Alba being an idiot. Way to raise awareness about your idiocy, Jess. I bet you hate it when people call you that.

Jessica Alba defaced a bunch of shit in Oklahoma City with posters of great white sharks in order to raise awareness. From TMZ: One of the spots she’s accused of…

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Megan Fox Is At a PremiereBy toddJune 09, 2009

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Yeah, so, here’s Megan Fox at the premiere of The Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, and sure, I could say that she’s pretty and that I want to squigee her clitoris with my tongue, but quite frankly, I think it would be kind of redundant with the card and present I just sent her and all. I really hoped she liked everything, especially the heart. That homeless guy seemed pretty attached to it.

Yeah, so, here’s Megan Fox at the premiere of The Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, and sure, I could say that she’s pretty and that I want to squigee her…

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Piranha 3-D May Do WellBy toddJune 08, 2009

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According to IMDB, Pirahna 3-D is about “A tremor under the surface of Lake Victoria unleashes scores of prehistoric piranhas, an event which rallies the local sheriff (Shue) who will risk everything to save her townsfolk.”, but they probably might want to reword that to mention Kelly Brook’s tits. The guys at ShockTillYouDrop have some pictures and will be hanging around the set, so let me be the first to say to the editor, fuck you. Dear God, Kelly Brook’s body is perfect. I just hate it for the blonde chick in the pictures, Riley Steele. To reiterate, she’s standing next to Kelly Brook. She could have gold wings and lasers for eyes and carrying a magical trident, and she would still be, at best, the second most interesting thing on the boat.

According to IMDB, Pirahna 3-D is about “A tremor under the surface of Lake Victoria unleashes scores of prehistoric piranhas, an event which rallies the local sheriff (Shue) who will…

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Links That Won’t Gross You Out Like Sting And Paul McCartney Almost KissingBy daveMay 07, 2009

I don’t know what circumstances this occurred under, and I don’t care to know [BWE]

Are LiLo and SamRo going to give it another go? [FatBackMedia]

Taylor Swift took some photos with fans outside her London hotel. If I had been there, I would have gone for an ass grab. Yeah, you ruin it for everyone else when she slaps you and runs inside, but you’d have touched hallowed ground. [LaineyGossip]

Chyler Leigh from Grey’s Anatomy farted a smaller human out of her vagina. [ImNotObsessed]

Paula Abdul says we’re all mean and she’s never been addicted to anything ever. [ICYDK]

Hilary Duff is smokin’ hot from the neck down. Though it’s her smokey eyes that contribute to the neck up losing points. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

I can’t help (more…)

I don’t know what circumstances this occurred under, and I don’t care to know [BWE] Are LiLo and SamRo going to give it another go? [FatBackMedia] Taylor Swift took some…

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Jessica Biel Has a Little ProblemBy toddMay 06, 2009

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For all intents and purposes, my tongue would squegee Jessica Biel’s ass like a damn windshield, but did I miss something? When did she become Puerto Rican? Does she have a pager and go to parades now, because she’s like a 1,000 times darker compared to this time last month. I don’t know what kind of industrial strength tanning solution she’s using but it’s pretty clear that after applying it, Step #2 involves laying under a space shuttle while it’s launching or Superman flying you to the sun.

Note: Speaking of Superman, I thought I’d seen Smallville enough to know that Clark Kent didn’t have an effeminate cousin who was apparently the president of the AV Club. Turns out I was wrong:

For all intents and purposes, my tongue would squegee Jessica Biel’s ass like a damn windshield, but did I miss something? When did she become Puerto Rican? Does she have…

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Kiefer Sutherland is a Happy DrunkBy toddMay 06, 2009

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It what may be the weirdest thing you read all day, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted and broke the nose of a fashion designer at the Metropolitan Museum gala after-party last night after the designer allegedly…wait for it…knocked Brooke Shields down. TMZ reports:

It happened at an after-party for the Met costume gala last night. We’re told witnesses say the alleged victim — Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough — allegedly knocked Brooke Shields over and Kiefer saw it happen. The witnesses say Kiefer went over to the man and told him to apologize to her. At that point they say McCollough pushed Kiefer and the actor responded with a headbutt. A police report was taken and the incident is under investigation.

However, Brooke Shields has another recollection of the incident. It didn’t happen.

Shields’ reps tell TMZ the man Kiefer headbutted last night in no way did anything to Brooke that would have warranted the alleged attack…Brooke’s rep say “nothing happened to her,” adding “Jack did nothing inappropriate. It’s not clear what caused Keifer to do what he did.”…Brooke’s reps tell us Jack, who designs clothes for Brooke, “did absolutely nothing to her.” But here’s where the plot thickens. We asked the rep, “Did Jack touch her?” Their response — “We don’t know.”

Kiefer Sutherland is a legendary drunk lunatic (he is currently on probation for DUI), so there’s no way he was sober for this. Especially since it seems like he went through a lot of work to make a gay dude cry. He didn’t need to resort to violence. If Kiefer wanted to make this designer cry, all he had to do was tell him that somebody in ABBA died.

It what may be the weirdest thing you read all day, Kiefer Sutherland headbutted and broke the nose of a fashion designer at the Metropolitan Museum gala after-party last night…

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Kelly Brook is BackBy toddMay 05, 2009

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I wondered why a beam of God’s love shot out of my laptop this morning, but then I realized pictures of Page 3 legend Kelly Brook squeezing her massive 32E tits into some lingerie for this month’s appropriately titled, NUTS magazine hit online today. Goddamn, her body is perfect (32E-24-35). Those measurements are like penis powerball numbers. Jesus, I don’t even know what I would do if I saw this naked standing in front of me. Besides a handwritten letter of apology and a visit to my attorney, there’s a pretty realistic chance I’d blow so hard I’d look like I just picked up a downed power line.

I wondered why a beam of God’s love shot out of my laptop this morning, but then I realized pictures of Page 3 legend Kelly Brook squeezing her massive 32E…

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Fashion IconBy toddMay 05, 2009

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I assume there was a preteen Cambodian boy prancing around his house in pink panties and setting off firecrackers, but I have no idea what queer French dude dressed in a bedazzled Peter Pan costume designed this mess. Madonna looks like Mumra if Mumra was nominated for What Not To Wear. Seriously, zombies could have just eaten my parents and my neighborhood could be under nuclear attack and I could design a dress better than this.

I assume there was a preteen Cambodian boy prancing around his house in pink panties and setting off firecrackers, but I have no idea what queer French dude dressed in…

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