Ryan Reynolds Has Been Banging This “For Months”By toddJuly 13, 2011

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Charlize Theron? Yes, I’d agree that this is an upgrade. No further questions.” – Ryan Reynolds’ penis’ imaginary press conference. Us Magazine reports:

A source tells the new issue of Us Weekly (out Wednesday) that the Green Lantern star, 34, and Charlize Theron, 35, “have been dating — for months! They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.” While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m. — and she left just minutes later. Has Reynolds (who split from wife Scarlett Johansson last December) found a perfect match? “They’re both career-focused,” explains the source, “but not in a crazy way.” For instance, don’t expect to see the stars side-by-side on a red carpet. “She won’t go to an event with him,” the insider says of Theron, who split with love of nine years Stuart Townsend in 2010. “That’s not her style.”

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson announced their split on December 10, 2010 and Reynolds filed for divorce 17 days later, because you can’t be accused of cheating on your wife is she’s not your wife. Everybody knows this.

“Charlize Theron? Yes, I’d agree that this is an upgrade. No further questions.” – Ryan Reynolds’ penis’ imaginary press conference. Us Magazine reports: A source tells the new issue of…

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The Dark Knight Rises Gets A PosterBy toddJuly 13, 2011

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The new teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises hit online yesterday, so yeah, here it is. The plot of the movie is a tightly kept secret, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s about Batman fighting corrupt construction companies who don’t build to code. Sounds exciting.

The new teaser poster for The Dark Knight Rises hit online yesterday, so yeah, here it is. The plot of the movie is a tightly kept secret, but if I…

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Mila Kunis Does GQBy toddJuly 12, 2011

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Screen Gems really wants you to see Friends With Benefits, so here’s Mila Kunis in her panties and a see through shirt and drinking an ice coffee. I really don’t know why they’re trying to promote this film with her sexuality when the movie is about an unemployed guy who has friends with 401K’s and access to a network of more than 500,000 participating quality health care professionals and centers throughout the country. CIGNA negotiates with these health care professionals to offer them the most affordable medical insurance value for their dollar. Why do we need to see her in her panties to promote a serious film like this? I don’t understand why Hollywood can be so sexist sometimes.

Screen Gems really wants you to see Friends With Benefits, so here’s Mila Kunis in her panties and a see through shirt and drinking an ice coffee. I really don’t…

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Sara Underwood Is FantasticBy toddJuly 12, 2011

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When you’re physically perfect (NSFW), people will pay you a lot of money to be in front of a camera and wear tight spandex outfits under the guise of, “hey, we’re going to Comic Con and we just happened to pick this out for you.” I would say other stuff here, but I think I just came. Lemme see…yep, oh yeah. Totally. Totally just came. Christ, how am I gonna clean all this up? Oh god dammit, it’s everywhere. Maybe I should go to the bathroom and…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

When you’re physically perfect (NSFW), people will pay you a lot of money to be in front of a camera and wear tight spandex outfits under the guise of, “hey,…

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Jessica Simpson Turned 31By toddJuly 11, 2011

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Then she gave Eric Johnson her credit card and told him to come back with the one that looks like a mountain of spray cheese. Mama like spray cheese. Too Fab reports:

Jessica Simpson got a pricey gift from her fiance for her 31st birthday — the elusive Birkin bag! Simpson, who turned 31 on Sunday, posted the above photo on her Twitter last night, exclaiming “Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ;)” The orange bag is definitely a status symbol in the fashion world, where waiting lists once existed for the Hermes line.

Let me preface this by saying this is gonna sound way more sexist than it should, but unlike men who have a constant supply of fresh, young vagina at out disposal because we tend to get better looking with age, maximize our earning power later in life, and some of us can tell a joke, women always have a hard expiration date. And at 31, women, at best, have about three good years left. It doesn’t matter how hot or rich or powerful they are, women hit the wall and no penis or love will ever find them. Jessica Simpson might have six months. She went from the hottest thing on the planet to a fat drunk in five years, so I guess buying yourself a Hermes bag and pretending your unemployed fiance bought it is small victory. Just like when they upsize her fries for free.

Then she gave Eric Johnson her credit card and told him to come back with the one that looks like a mountain of spray cheese. Mama like spray cheese. Too…

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Hilary Duff Is In A BikiniBy toddJuly 11, 2011

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Hilary Duff isn’t on here a lot, because well, it’s Hilary Duff and who really gives a shit? But I guess she should have thought of that before she went to Italy and put on a bikini around dude with a camera. Because I like bikinis. And I really like white girls in bikinis. I also like a nice smile. Ooh, that sounded pretty good. I should probably put that on my OK Cupid profile. I feel it shows women that I’m sensitive. And then they’ll let me have sex with them.

Hilary Duff isn’t on here a lot, because well, it’s Hilary Duff and who really gives a shit? But I guess she should have thought of that before she went…

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Awww, How SweetBy toddJuly 09, 2011

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Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox celebrated their 1-year wedding anniversary this month, and as you can see, they look pretty happy. Happy in the fact that he gets to bang that every night and she gets to still play out her still unresolved daddy issues with the guy she fell in love with from the foldout in Tiger Beat. My seething hate for this dude is confusing me today because I have the same shirt and shoes. (*Taps index fingers together and spins around in desk chair*) Interesting. So, my mortal enemy and I have things in common. Maybe the universe wants me to see him as a reflection of myself and to learn that we are all just humans beings on this planet who want the same things out of life. Man, I really feel like I’m growing as a person.

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox celebrated their 1-year wedding anniversary this month, and as you can see, they look pretty happy. Happy in the fact that he gets to…

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Rihanna’s Stage Caught On Fire In DallasBy toddJuly 09, 2011

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Jess is on her way to Japan to tour with/get gangbanged by The Jonas Brothers if the The Jonas Brothers were from New Jersey and sounded like a Lady Gaga cover band and sang songs about the importance of dance floors for sexin’, so you’re gonna have to deal with me this weekend. So, yeah. sorry about that. Oh, but speaking of tours, Rihanna took her LOUD! Tour to Dallas’ American Airlines Center last night where she ran offstage when the pyrotechnics during the end of her song ‚ÄúCalifornia King Bed” set the stage on fire. Really? I’ve read Rihanna talk. She should have foreseen this happening in the cards. Or crystals. Or whatever voodoo shit they do at that place she’s from. That place with the huts. Oh, please. I watch horror movies. I know what goes on over there.


Source = OTND

Jess is on her way to Japan to tour with/get gangbanged by The Jonas Brothers if the The Jonas Brothers were from New Jersey and sounded like a Lady Gaga…

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