Scarlett Johansson Was Too Sexy For Girl With The Dragon TattooBy toddOctober 18, 2011

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Since Hollywood is devoid of any original ideas and has run out of Asian films to remake (yes, I’m looking at you too, The Departed), Hollywood is now raping and pillaging Sweden (they started here) for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. A litany of A-list actresses, including Scarlett Johansson, were vying for the part, but director David Fincher thought some homely chick would be better. Totally. Because if Americans hate one thing, it’s seeing hot chicks in their movies. Us Magazine reports:

Director David Fincher eventually gave the part in his American adaptation to lesser-known actress Rooney Mara, with whom he worked on The Social Network. “We flew in people from New Zealand and Swaziland and all over the place,” Fincher explained to Vogue. “Look, we saw some amazing people. Scarlett Johansson was great. It was a great audition, I’m telling you.” So why didn’t Johansson, 26, nab the part? “But the thing with Scarlett is, you can’t wait for her to take her clothes off.” Indeed, Johansson is probably too voluptuous for the edgy role as it is written in the book. Brilliant, socially freakish computer hacker Salander is a “a pale, anorexic young woman who had hair as short as a fuse, and a pierced nose and eyebrows,” author Larson wrote of Lizbeth, who is covered in tattoos.

So to recap, a pale, socially awkward, and unattractive computer hacker with Asperger Syndrome spends two hours stealing money from a bank. Ooohh, how exciting! I’m sure this will be a big hit in America. Maybe they should change the name to The Girl With The Dragon Tramp Stamp just to make sure, though. Then have some sort of Taco Bell tie-in. And maybe make it in 3D. And have a contest where audiences will have the chance to win a lifetime supply of Mt. Dew. Or be an extra on Pawn Stars. Or get a free makeover. Or something having to do with the McRib.

Since Hollywood is devoid of any original ideas and has run out of Asian films to remake (yes, I’m looking at you too, The Departed), Hollywood is now raping and…

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Kelly Rowland Is Very SubtleBy toddOctober 18, 2011

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Former member of Beyonce’s Backup SingersDestiny’s Child, Kelly Rowland, was photographed leaving the X Factor studios in London last night where I think she wanted us to notice something. If only I knew what it was! What could it be??!! TELL US KELLY!!!!!

Former member of Beyonce’s Backup SingersDestiny’s Child, Kelly Rowland, was photographed leaving the X Factor studios in London last night where I think she wanted us to notice something. If…

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Shia LaBeouf Is A Great FighterBy toddOctober 18, 2011

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Like most men in L.A. who play dress up and sit for makeup in their trailers, Shia LaBeouf is a little bitch who would use a baby as a human shield if he saw a bee coming toward him. So it’s really no surprise that he got his ass kicked by a shirtless fat guy in the middle of the sidewalk outside a Vancouver bar, Cinema Public House, last week. It’s a good thing his friends and some guy in crutches broke up the fight to save the fat guy though. Statistics have shown that people lying on the ground in the fetal position could strike at any time.

Note: I like the part where his friends tell him he needs to “lay low”. Umm, I think he already has that covered.


video source = TMZ

Like most men in L.A. who play dress up and sit for makeup in their trailers, Shia LaBeouf is a little bitch who would use a baby as a human…

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Hannah Montana’s Friend Got A DUIBy toddOctober 17, 2011

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Effeminate wigger and Disney star who played Oliver Oken on Hannah Montana, Mitchel Musso (yes, that banner pic is a male), was popped in Burbank yesterday morning with a DUI. He’s also 20. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell us … 20-year-old Musso was pulled over at 3:43 AM Sunday … after he failed to slow down for cops who were directing traffic for an unrelated accident. We’re told … cops approached Musso’s 2007 black Mercedes Benz and detected a “strong odor of alcohol.” Musso — who also stars on the Disney hits “Pair of Kings” and “PrankStars” — was given a field sobriety test … and we’re told he performed poorly. Law enforcement sources also tell us … Musso was given a breathalyzer test and blew WELL ABOVE .08 … the legal limit in CA for people who are OVER the age of 21. Musso was booked on suspicion of DUI and hauled to a nearby station. Bail was set at $5,000. According to his booking sheet, Musso is 5’8″ and 133 lbs.

5’8″ and 133 lbs.? There’s no way. It would take a lot more wine coolers than that to make you blow “well above” the legal limit. Maybe he was brushing his hair in his Barbie vanity and lost count. I have to admit, they do go down pretty smooth.

Effeminate wigger and Disney star who played Oliver Oken on Hannah Montana, Mitchel Musso (yes, that banner pic is a male), was popped in Burbank yesterday morning with a DUI….

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Stacy Keibler Might Not Wanna Get Too ComfortableBy toddOctober 17, 2011

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George Clooney has gone from banging Stacy Keibler in private to being seen with her in public, so here’s the happy couple at the NYC Film Festival premiere of The Descendants last night. Well, I mean Stacy Keibler looks happy. George Clooney might be happy if the girl attached to the ass he’s staring at can keep her mouth shut after he finger bangs her while Stacy is in the bathroom. Why bitches always gotta talk?

George Clooney has gone from banging Stacy Keibler in private to being seen with her in public, so here’s the happy couple at the NYC Film Festival premiere of The…

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Giuliana Rancic Is Going About This All WrongBy jessOctober 16, 2011

Giuliana and Bill Rancic really want to give birth to a kid. How’s that going? Radar Online reports:

Giuliana and Bill Rancic reveal they’re open to adoption as they try IVF for a third time. They are in the midst of their third bout of IVF but Giuliana and Bill are keeping their options open. While the couple is still hopeful they will have a baby of their own, they aren’t ruling out adoption, they told Us magazine. “We’re not opposed to adoption,” Bill, 40, said at the Nivea New Years Eve preview in New York. The E! Host and her husband have suffered two failed attempts at IVF with the latest round ending in a heartbreaking miscarriage. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, the two took a year off baby making and have been traveling the world before trying again. Giuliana, 37, is now hopeful that it will be third time lucky for them. “If our doctor says after this cycle, ‘I don’t think this is going to happen for you naturally. You’re going to have to look at more options,’ then we will,” she said. “But if someone is telling you, ‘I can get you pregnant,’ then we’re trying it.”

(more…)

Giuliana and Bill Rancic really want to give birth to a kid. How’s that going? Radar Online reports: Giuliana and Bill Rancic reveal they’re open to adoption as they try…

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Lady Gaga Won A LawsuitBy jessOctober 15, 2011

Lady Gaga sued a British company for spoofing her. E! Online reports:

This is one little monster that’s not feeling Lady Gaga’s motherly love. In an effort to ensure that her unique image stays that way, Gaga has scored an injunction against the company behind the viral video sensation known as Lady Goo Goo, a tiny, spoofy, animated version of the singer that regularly releases kid-friendly copycat versions of her greatest hits. Which was fun while it lasted. But Gaga proved she’s not exactly cuckoo for Goo Goo. Gaga actually won the injunction against the website Moshi Monsters—a UK site that’s been touted as Facebook for kids—and its parent company Mind Candy, which was responsible for the cartoon (one of 52 in their arsenal) that dresses and acts like a baby version of Gaga. Some of her, er, its hits include “Peppy-razzi” and “The Moshi Dance” (sadly, the official videos have already been removed from YouTube, though unofficial versions abound and lyrics were along the lines of: “my stroller’s pretty and my diapers are silk/I throw my toys out if I don’t get my milk”). It’s the latter tune that appeared to be particularly irksome to Gaga’s legal team, as the viral video for the song became so popular that the Goo Goo tune was set to be sold on iTunes. The trademark ruling handed down in London’s High Court this week sided with Gaga that the cartoon and its songs might cause “consumer confusion” and subsequently ordered that Moshi could not to release the tune in any form.

Normally I’d say seeing as Madonna, David Bowie, Grace Jones, and Annie Lennox haven’t sued Lady Gaga for biting all of their material, maybe she should steal another page from all of their books and shut the fuck up. But I can see how consumer confusion would go down in this case. Sure, you’d have to be deaf or retarded to mix the songs up, but you’d also have to be deaf or retarded to buy a Lady Gaga song in the first place.

Lady Gaga sued a British company for spoofing her. E! Online reports: This is one little monster that’s not feeling Lady Gaga’s motherly love. In an effort to ensure that…

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