See the full NSFW gallery below if you’re into that sorta thing.
So for the past few days it's apparently a big deal that the Red Hot Chili Peppers didn't perform live at the Super Bowl. Ok, so I'm going to throw my hat into this issue for you right now. Ready? Here it goes. Who gives a shit? They've been a band since 1983 and have been performing this song since 1991. They get a pass. Maybe if Peyton Manning performed live we'd have something else to talk about.
Sean Penn moved in Charlize Theron and wants to marry her and adopt her kid [Dlisted]
Brandi Glanville has HPV [Fishwrapper]
Abigail Clancy love [Hollywood Tuna]
More pics of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow [Popoholic]
Samantha Hoppes is the new Kate Upton [Drunken Stepfather]
Here's the stripper who was nursing Justin Bieber [TMZ]
Olivia Munn is dating Robocop [Lainey Gossip]
George Clooney is kinda racist [Celebitchy]
More Kelly Brook in a bikini [Moe Jackson]
The best of Will Ferrell's Reedit AMA [Film Drunk]
Mila Kunis has looked better [Celebslam]
Philip Seymour Hoffman's dealers got arrested [The Blemish]
pic source = Instagram
I'm not a pharmacist or a doctor (in the United States), but if you wanted to be found dead in your apartment and be mourned by your loved ones because of your inability to overcome your addiction, there are worse ideas than having 72 bags of heroin in your apartment. Again, that's not a misprint. SEVENTY-TWO. Philip Seymour Hoffman had 72 bags of heroin. New York Post reports:
The NYPD hunted for Philip Seymour Hoffman’s drug dealer on Monday to track down the source of the 72 small bags of heroin found in the tragic actor’s Greenwich Village apartment, sources said. Investigators found 49 sealed bags and 23 bags that were open and used. In all, 59 were marked “Ace of Spades” and 13 had the “Ace of Hearts” logo. There were also two charred spoons, syringes and a small amount of cocaine in the $10,000-a-month apartment. Cops also discovered an assortment of prescription pills, including:
- Clonidine hydrochloride, a blood-pressure medication.
- Buprenorphine, an addiction-treatment drug.
- Vyvanse, which is used to treat attention-deficit disorder.
- Hydroxyzine, used to treat anxiety.
- Methocarbamol, a muscle relaxant.
Like, I've been sitting here trying to wrap my mind around what kind of next level junkie would need 72 bags of heroin readily available at any given moment. Do you have to pass some kind of written test and maybe a practical? Was he going to be on the new TLC show Heroin Hoarders? I don't get it. I mean, I didn't want to watch the Super Bowl either, but not that bad. I can't overstate this enough. He had 72 bags of heroin in his apartment. The only brightside is that if you're looking to see Michael Jackson's ghost, this substantially narrows down your search.
Like, for real. This isn't a joke. Justin Bieber believes being dunked in a pool will be all the help he needs. Page Six reports:
Multiple sources confirmed to us that Bieber was looking for a Manhattan property with a private pool to conduct a baptism-like ceremony with the Hillsong Church NYC. One source said, “Justin and his team spent time on Saturday searching for a place with a pool where they could conduct a baptism for him, a cleansing ritual, with the Hillsong Church. But they couldn’t find a place in time.” Another source added, “Justin is serious about his Christian faith, and after recent events, he needed to take a pause.” Bieber, who is believed to have been baptized as a child, is a fan of the megachurch — which has conducted baptisms in the Gansevoort Hotel rooftop pool — and after attending a service at their Irving Plaza location last September, he tweeted about its hip leader, Pastor Carl Lentz: “Amazing sermon at church this morning. Love you man. I broke down today.”
Yes, because nothing says "serious about his Christian faith" like pissing in mop buckets, egging your neighbors house, driving drunk, sippin sizzurp, and sucking on stripper titties. The Jesus' side eye is probably pretty strong right now. But, you know, I guess baptism is thing that people do because they think it's a good insurance policy in case heaven exists while they're having all the fun they can down here. As long as you profess to accept Jesus into your heart, you can do pretty much whatver you want. I think that's how it works. Problem is, the rest of us can't throw a challenge flag to have that reviewed. Jesus did not have full control of the heart as you went underwater, therefore the ruling on the field has been overturned.
Depending on the day, Ireland Baldwin looks hot or looks like she pees standing up, so it's good she recognized this and just straight up posted a pic of her ass on Instagram. Thank you, Alec Baldwin. That voicemail you left that one time is really starting to pay off.
pic source = Instagram
Here's Kelly Brook in a bikini in Miami with her new boyfriend David King. He calls himself "King David". Kelly Brook was single because her last boyfriend cheated on her, so it's good to see she's moved on with a guy who looks like he would never cheat. Also, boobs. Lots of boobs in this post.
Tara Reid will be in Sharknado 2 yeesssssss [Dlisted]
Jessica Simpson looks….good? Wait what? [Fishwrapper]
Here's Paz de le Huerta naked and covered in blood (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Charlize Theron banged Seth MacFarlane [The Superficial]
Nina Agdal. Damn. [Hollywood Tuna]
Scarlett Johansson in tight leather [Popoholic]
Madison Murray posing with the Bieber car [Drunken Stepfather]
Marco Rubio weighs in on Bieber [TMZ]
pic source = Instagram
Wilmer Valderrama has pounded so much Disney ass he gets a free park hopper pass for life, but it looks like he's finally found one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. The cutter who will do butt stuff if you have coke. Hollywood Life reports:
Sounds like things are getting hot hot hot between Wilmer and Demi! After we told you he had been ring shopping, a new report claims that they had a serious talk about the future — and now he’s ready to pop the question! Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama have had a roller coaster of a relationship, but it sounds like they’re going strong! Right before Thanksgiving, Tiffany & Co. confirmed to HollywoodLife.com that he bought a ring for his girlfriend. However, he had to make a change before proposing, according to a new report…This doesn’t come as a surprise. When HollywoodLife.com spoke to employees at Tiffanys, they said he was super excited buying the ring….“We all talked about it afterwards because he was so darn nice!” the employee said, but couldn’t confirm it was an engagement ring. “He chose a really classic, beautiful ring. Demi is going to be a happy girl when she gets it. He didn’t say what it was for but he was really excited and happy — he seemed like any other guy getting ready to pop the question.”
I was in Santa Monica two years ago, and on the same day, two seperate white girls came up to me and asked for my autograph. One thought I was Wilmer Valderrama, and the other said, "oohh, you played Kristin Dunst's boyfriend in that one movie!". I still have no idea who I was supposed to be there. Long story short, if you're a brown guy in Santa Monica without a leaf blower, people will think you're famous. Anyway, that's all I got. Congrats to the happy couple, I guess.