Katy Perry Is DelusionalBy toddNovember 03, 2010

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In the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Katy Perry is still trying to justify to every one who will listen why she married Russell Brand. Get ready to live:

“I always knew I wanted a great man of God, someone who was going to be an inspiration for people and also be a lovely husband and father.“…”We’re at different places in our lives, but we can still grow together. He’s thought-provoking, articulate, a real advocate. I also definitely wanted to have a laugh. I have all that in him.”

Katy Perry might want to give her husband the Voight-Kampff empathy test, because unless she’s talking about a biorobotic being with an English accent, I think she has her Russell Brands mixed up.

In the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Katy Perry is still trying to justify to every one who will listen why she married Russell Brand. Get ready to live: “I…

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Keira Knightley Was RobbedBy toddNovember 03, 2010

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The flat of actress Keira Knightley was burglarized last week when thieves apparently late for a LAN party saw an opportunity. Mirror UK reports:

The thieves made off with two laptop computers after entering the Pirates Of The Caribbean star’s flat in central London. Knightley, 25, is thought to share the flat with her brother. She was not inside the property at the time. The burglary took place on October 26. It is believed that two other properties in the block of flats where she lives have also been targeted. A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: “Officers from Westminster are investigating a residential burglary at a flat. “It is believed to have occurred between 09:00 and 21:00 on 26 October 2010.”

It is also believed that I saw a spider last night then screamed and jumped on the couch, but that’s just mudslinging on the part of my opponent. The spider and I were playing hide and seek, you see.

The flat of actress Keira Knightley was burglarized last week when thieves apparently late for a LAN party saw an opportunity. Mirror UK reports: The thieves made off with two…

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Demi Lovato Was BulliedBy toddNovember 02, 2010

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Much like AIDS, the disease of bullying is not just isolated to gay people. That’s because Demi Lovato‘s need to cut and starve herself stem from the bad meanie words kids said to her in 7th grade. TMZ reports:

The issues that Disney superstar Demi Lovato is hoping to tackle in her treatment center all stem from a painful history of being bullied … sources extremely close to the singer tell TMZ. We’re told Demi’s issues with bullies go all the way back to middle school — where she felt her acting career made her a target. Our sources say Demi subsequently engaged in self-destructive behavior that is a manifestation of being bullied. In fact — back in 2008, Demi told Ellen DeGeneres that she was bullied so badly in 7th grade, she pulled out of her middle school and switched to a home school program.

If more kids would learn to cut the bullies instead of cutting themselves, then maybe we wouldn’t have to feign sympathy for a 18-year old millionaire who will never have to work another day in her life. I once fractured a kid’s nose with a bicycle lock because he asked if my mom had me on a buffalo. That was a little extreme of course, but then again, the topic of buffalo never came up again.

Much like AIDS, the disease of bullying is not just isolated to gay people. That’s because Demi Lovato‘s need to cut and starve herself stem from the bad meanie words…

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Leonardo DiCaprio Is A Serial KillerBy toddNovember 02, 2010

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Because no matter what he does will stop him from getting Grade A vagina, Leonardo DiCaprio is set to play America’s first documented serial killer, Dr. Henry Howard Holmes. In Chicago during the 1893 World’s Fair, he was the leading cause of death. But at least he didn’t kill babies. Whew! E! Online reports:

The actor is set to star as a serial killer in a big-screen adaptation of Erik Larson’s bestselling nonfiction book The Devil in the White City. DiCaprio will portray H.H. Holmes, who is believed to have killed as many as 200 people in Chicago during the 1893 World’s Fair. The sociopath did his deadly deeds in a hotel that he himself built that later became known as the “murder castle.” It was equipped with such devices as a gas chamber, dissecting table and crematorium. Holmes would place ads in local newspapers to lure unsuspecting female newcomers to the Windy City to his deathtrap.

Since I just did a post about dead babies, I thought I’d lighten the mood with a post about a serial killer. Of adults. I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot better now. Thanks for asking.

Because no matter what he does will stop him from getting Grade A vagina, Leonardo DiCaprio is set to play America’s first documented serial killer, Dr. Henry Howard Holmes. In…

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Yep, This Will Turn Out WellBy toddOctober 29, 2010

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When a woman is raised by devout Christian parents, she is taught that her vagina is a precious gift more valuable than the Golden Fleece and that it should be worshiped by all who are allowed to enter. This is pretty much the only way to explain this story.
Radar Online reports:

Katy Perry’s childhood may have been a bit sheltered, but as an adult, the singer has no qualms about her wild ways in the bedroom with husband Russell Brand. “Like Ludacris rapped, ‘I’m a lady in the street and a freak in the bed,'” she told Now Magazine. “I can’t rate myself, but if you ask Russell I’m sure he’d give me a ten out of ten.” The pair said, ‘I do’ in India last week and Perry isn’t worried about her new husband straying, despite his past history of skirt-chasing. “He’s made no secret of what his life was like before me, but that’s then and this is the future,” she said. “He’s cheated in the past but he knows how good he has it with me and I know he’d never do anything to jeopardize that. I trust him 100 percent.

Haha, wow. This should be interesting. Remember when that dude from LifeLock posted his social security number all over his commercials and ads and said that he trusted his product so much that no one could steal his identity? Then, you know, hackers stole his identity? This is pretty much like that except replace “LifeLock” with “Katy Perry’s vagina” and “hackers stole his identity” with “Russell Brand waking up on top of two teenage twins in two weeks.”

When a woman is raised by devout Christian parents, she is taught that her vagina is a precious gift more valuable than the Golden Fleece and that it should be…

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