Ben Affleck’s Degenerate Gambling Will Ruin ‘Batman v. Superman’By toddAugust 01, 2014
Ben Affleck’s Degenerate Gambling Will Ruin ‘Batman v. Superman’

 

Zach Snyder didn’t need much help to ruin Man of Steel, but it seems Ben Affleck is gonna help out in ruining Batman v. Superman by pissing away the Wayne fortune at the Texas Hold Em table.

After scathing reviews and dismal box office numbers when Affleck played the title role in 2003’s Daredevil, he has faced even more scrutiny for taking on the legendary caped crusader Batman. “He’s been under so much pressure playing Batman, he is absorbing himself into gambling,” added the source. “He’s taken the criticism so personally, especially after the failure of Daredevil. Those who’ve seen the film think it’s going to be a hit and all worth it, but he’s feeling a lot of pressure for it to do well.” Those closest to Affleck understand the need for a bit of distraction, but some believe it’s gone too far. “It’s a way to just to be with the guys, but he seems obsessed with poker,” continued the insider. “It’s now beyond a family issue. It’s starting to worry people. It’s too much and everyone around him is saying they have to find another outlet for him.”

Affleck has a long history of not being able to stop himself from gambling, so I guess we can call this sickness. Just like people call anything that can be solved by will power, but they just make up some disease and call themselves predisposed to like gambling or tequila or whatever. We have lots of treatment centers and specialists who are cool with taking your money to keep you believing you’re “sick”. But what about people who start their restaurant orders with a question? Where is their treatment center? We as a society should consider that.

 

  Zach Snyder didn’t need much help to ruin Man of Steel, but it seems Ben Affleck is gonna help out in ruining Batman v. Superman by pissing away the…

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Avril Lavigne Got A 17-Carat RingBy toddAugust 01, 2014
Avril Lavigne Got A 17-Carat Ring

 

Not sure how we live in a world where the lead singer of Nickelback can afford to buy a 17-carat emerald cut ring for Avril Lavigne for their 1 year anniversary, yet here it is. I honestly can’t think of one reason where I’d buy anyone a 17-carat ring, unless the ring had magical powers and I bought it for myself, because vagina is only worth 1-carat, 2 tops. Maybe just a Sephora gift card.  And we’ve all seen Avril’s teeth. This wasn’t a reward for Best Achievement In Blowjobs. It’s 2014 and Chad Kroeger still frosts his hair, so its obvious decision making isn’t really his thing.

  Not sure how we live in a world where the lead singer of Nickelback can afford to buy a 17-carat emerald cut ring for Avril Lavigne for their 1…

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Lindsay Lohan Is On VacationBy toddJuly 31, 2014

 

Quick: Tell me the last time Lindsay Lohan got paid to be in anything. Stop, you won’t be able to, it’s too early to think that hard. But that doesn’t stop Lindsay from taking vacation in Ibiza and contaminating the water supply and making the sun work. I guess we’re all left to wonder how she can afford to party in Ibiza without zero taxable income. My only guess is that we can take clues from other pictures she’s taken. She can open her mouth really wide.

  Quick: Tell me the last time Lindsay Lohan got paid to be in anything. Stop, you won’t be able to, it’s too early to think that hard. But that…

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Dina Lohan Got A DUIBy toddSeptember 13, 2013
Dina Lohan Got A DUI

 

Since the House of Lohan will fall unless one of them is drunk, I guess it's all up to Dina Lohan now. TMZ reports:

Dina Lohan was arrested for drunk driving in Long Island, NY last night … and cops say her blood alcohol level was more than TWICE the legal limit. Lindsay Lohan's 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night … after she was allegedly going 77mph in a 55 in her white BMW. During the stop, cops say she appeared intoxicated — and tested her blood alcohol level, which registered at .20 — more than twice the legal limit of .08. According to officials, "Lohan made an allegation that she was injured during the course of the arrest" … but when medical personnel responded to the scene and determined she was fine, Dina "recanted her claim."   Lohan was hauled to a nearby station where she was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding. After posing for a squinty-eyed mug shot, Lohan was released to a sober 3rd party. So far, no word on WHO picked up Lohan from the station. Lohan is due back in court later this month.

This wouldn't be a Lohan story without drama, so of course Dina made up a story that the police injured her and had to recant because only Lindsay can lie and get away with it. They should give her license back and tell her she can only drive at night in Colorado.

  Since the House of Lohan will fall unless one of them is drunk, I guess it's all up to Dina Lohan now. TMZ reports: Dina Lohan was arrested for…

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This Is Supposed To Be Britney SpearsBy toddSeptember 13, 2013
This Is Supposed To Be Britney Spears

 

I don't know who is responsible for making Britney Spears look like this for the cover of "Work Bitch", but they should have given her a unicorn horn and lasers for eyes just to fully drive the point home that this was Photoshopped.

  I don't know who is responsible for making Britney Spears look like this for the cover of "Work Bitch", but they should have given her a unicorn horn and…

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Kim Kardashian Is Devastated You Guys Are Calling Her FatBy toddSeptember 13, 2013

Because I assume he's just happy somebody wanted interview him, Kim Kardashian's stepbrother, Brody Jenner, says he is upset how cruelly  the media treated Kim (HAHAHAHAHA)  when she was pregnant and gained enough weight for five babies. He also said it gave her lots of sads. Take it away, Radar Online:

“A lot of very cruel things were written about her,” Brody, who was prominently featured on this past season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, told the U.K.’s Now magazine. “When you’re pregnant it should be a great stage in your life and you shouldn’t have to go to every newsstand and see pictures and headlines saying: ‘Kim’s a whale.’” He gave insight as to how rough things got, saying that “for a while, Kim was all bummed out with all the ridicule she was getting about her weight during her pregnancy … it was definitely getting to her. “I know it upset her — it should have been one of the happiest times of her life and it wasn’t,” the hunky star of The Hills said. “People gain weight when they’re pregnant and there’s nothing wrong with that. It upset me to read some things about her.”

Look, yes, a woman gains weight while she's pregnant. It's gross and stuff, but that's what happens when another human being is growing inside of you. But most women aren't trying to squeeze their fetus into things like this and this. And, brace yourself, this. Also, when you and your mom continually manipulate the media by putting you on the cover of every magazine in a bikini and it looks like Pixar did the post work, expect some backlash when you gain 200 pounds. Babies aren't some magical force fields that deflect jokes about your weight. Sorry. People put babies in barrels now. If they had any special powers, they would probably try to destroy the barels with their minds instead of making you feel better when you eat chocolate pizza.

 

Note: Why pictures of Kendall Jenner in tiny shorts instead Kim Kardashian? Bro. Never ask me that question again.

Because I assume he's just happy somebody wanted interview him, Kim Kardashian's stepbrother, Brody Jenner, says he is upset how cruelly  the media treated Kim (HAHAHAHAHA)  when she was pregnant…

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Kaley Cuoco Does AllureBy toddApril 12, 2011

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Kaley Cuoco, who stars in that one show about nerds, is in the May issue of Allure. As far as I can remember, she’s never been on this site, but please keep in mind that she’s never posed naked in a magazine before. My journalistic standards are pretty high, you see.

Kaley Cuoco, who stars in that one show about nerds, is in the May issue of Allure. As far as I can remember, she’s never been on this site, but…

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Michael Shannon Is General ZodBy toddApril 11, 2011

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So remember when I said “might“? Yeah, it’s official now. Michael Shannon is the villain in Superman: Man Of Steel. THR reports:

Warners Bros. announced Sunday that Shannon, who received an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor for Revolutionary Road for his performance as a mentally-troubled man and who has also been seen as a stern federal agent in HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, has been cast as Superman’s nemesis. “Zod is not only one of Superman’s most formidable enemies, but one of the most significant because he has insights into Superman that others don’t. Michael is a powerful actor who can project both the intelligence and the malice of the character, making him perfect for the role,” Snyder said. Zod, like Superman, is from Krypton, where he commanded its armed forces. The character appeared in both 1978’s Superman and its 1980 sequel Superman II, where he was played by actor Terence Stamp.

Much like Gary Oldman, even when he’s not playing someone batshit crazy, you fully expect Michael Shannon to bite the head off a squirrel then cover himself in peanut butter mid-sentence at any point during one of his movies. So, basically what I’m saying is, I’m cool with this. Also, when this movie comes out, I can start going up to random chicks and saying, “Kneel before Todd!“. I can’t wait! I know all those women are gonna love it!

He’s not well:

He’s really not well:

So remember when I said “might“? Yeah, it’s official now. Michael Shannon is the villain in Superman: Man Of Steel. THR reports: Warners Bros. announced Sunday that Shannon, who received…

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Eh, Why NotBy toddAugust 25, 2009

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Heidi Montag was in a bikini doing whatever the hell she does on a beach in the Bahamas this weekend, and as much as I hate her, I’d probably hit it. Who am I kidding? For the past two weeks my penis has been like a lion that just escaped from the zoo. If you have a body like this you might as well be a limping gazelle.

Heidi Montag was in a bikini doing whatever the hell she does on a beach in the Bahamas this weekend, and as much as I hate her, I’d probably hit…

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Screw You, GwynethBy toddAugust 24, 2009

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Just in case you wanted more reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow, she now has a 33 room house. The Daily Mail reports:

Madonna has done it and Jamie Oliver too. Now Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin have become the latest celebrities to spread out into the house next door. After snapping up the property adjoining their London home, the couple are to create a £7million superhouse with 33 rooms.Pictures submitted with a planning application show the couple’s garden with a slide for daughter Apple, five, and son Moses, three. Plans show they intend to knock through the connecting walls to create eight rooms on the lower ground floor, six on the upper ground, five on the first floor and eight on the second floor. A two-storey extension at the side of the existing house includes a gym, changing room, three bedrooms and a bathroom. The couple moved out of the house in May to spend time in America. They own several other homes, including one in the Hamptons, near New York, but see the London property as their base because they want the children to have a British education. A neighbour said: ‘It will be a massive house. What they have already is a substantial family home, but to double and add a bit on will make it a real mansion.”

I’m not gonna lie, spelling and grammar are my white whale, but I’m not really sure that a British education would have helped that. Mostly because I’m a dumbass, but mainly because spelling shit with a “u” is retarded and based on movies I’ve seen, British kids have buckles on their shoes and tie their books together with belts. They also walk with canes and will die unless The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge how sick they are. What the hell is going on over there?!

And again, I have no idea what these pictures of Jenna Jameson have to do with Gwyneth Paltrow other than the fact that they aren’t of Gwyneth Paltrow. BTW, I don’t know if “Jenna Jamseon” gave it away, but these are NSFW:

Just in case you wanted more reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow, she now has a 33 room house. The Daily Mail reports: Madonna has done it and Jamie Oliver too….

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