Trump Tried To Bang Brooke ShieldsBy toddOctober 05, 2017
Trump Tried To Bang Brooke Shields

 

Brooke Shields was on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen this week and this happened

The supermodel shared the tidbit during a game in which she had to guess who she had been photographed with throughout her career. When a black-and-white snapshot of herself and the former Celebrity Apprentice host at a charity event flashed across the screen, Shields pretended to gag and stuck out her tongue. “I can’t even speak,” she joked before recounting the story.

If you’re wondering what kind of pickup lines Trump uses, don’t think too hard, he uses the exact pickup lines you’d expect he would.

“I really think we should date because you’re America’s sweetheart and I’m America’s richest man and people would love it.”

I don’t have a vagina (on me), but If I had one it would turn to sand then the sand would turn into diamonds.

 

 

  Brooke Shields was on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen this week and this happened:  The supermodel shared the tidbit during a game in which she had to guess who…

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Selena Gomez Is Doing Woody AllenBy toddOctober 05, 2017
Selena Gomez Is Doing Woody Allen

 

I don’t think Selena Gomez‘s friend gave up a kidney so she could do a Woody Allen movie, yet here we are. Woody Allen makes movies that only a specific type of white people will like, and he also likes to have sex with young brown chicks he adopts. Hopefully Selena’s character doesn’t get adopted in this movie. I want to her she looks adorable.

 

  I don’t think Selena Gomez‘s friend gave up a kidney so she could do a Woody Allen movie, yet here we are. Woody Allen makes movies that only a…

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Jared Leto Is Playing Hugh HefnerBy toddOctober 04, 2017
Jared Leto Is Playing Hugh Hefner

 

If your skin hasn’t crawled in a while, Brett Ratner is making a Hugh Hefner movie. We already know what that means. If you thought it would be unrealistic, congrats, Jared Leto is playing Hefner.

Jared Leto will soon be donning the iconic silk pajamas and smoking jacket of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, who died Sept. 27 at age 91, for an upcoming biopic from Brett Ratner. “Jared is an old friend,” says Ratner, who will direct the film. “When he heard I got the rights to Hef’s story, he told me, ‘I want to play him. I want to understand him.’ And I really believe Jared can do it. He’s one of the great actors of today.”

So, this movie will basically be just titties in slow mo and Jared Leto in a robe walking around the slo mo titties. My over under on the Rotten Tomatoes score is 34%. Fans of Batman v Superman should love it.

 

  If your skin hasn’t crawled in a while, Brett Ratner is making a Hugh Hefner movie. We already know what that means. If you thought it would be unrealistic,…

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Tila Tequila Got BeatdownBy mollyAugust 15, 2010

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TMZ reports:

According to Tila, she took the stage at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois — a concert featuring such acts as Insane Clown Posse and Kottonmouth Kings.
Tila gave TMZ a very detailed account of what happened, saying: “I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.” She went on to say: “These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!”

A lot of people have denounced me as sexist, against my own sex mind you, so there really isn’t a whole lot I can say about this alleged incident without somebody accusing me of being pro violence on women. I won’t question why she was on stage at an ICP concert, and I certainly won’t make any remarks about how, even without being covered in human waste, she’s qualified by FEMA as hazardous material. I also won’t mention her brilliant diction, spelling, and grammar. Nope, even though it’s my job to be snarky, and even though I’m not even half serious, I won’t do it. I would just feel terrible if I offended anybody, most of all a no-talent reality show whore and a small group of the humorless.

TMZ reports: According to Tila, she took the stage at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois — a concert featuring such acts as Insane Clown Posse and Kottonmouth Kings….

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George Clooney Should Leave His Shirt OnBy mollyAugust 14, 2010
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George Clooney’s next movie is The American in which he plays an assassin hiding out in the Italian countryside. To promote the film, the director, former photographer Anton Corbijn, did a photoshoot for the September issue of W magazine with the cast on location. Included in that shoot is this picture of Clooney doing pull-ups without a shirt, and I think I can speak for most women when I say, “eh”. The man is undeniably handsome, but in a classic-Cary Grantish-looks great in a suit-kinda way, not an oh my god I wanna run my tongue along your eight pack kinda way. Let’s leave the shirtlessness to Matthew McConaughey, k Georgie boy?

Don’t worry baby, I still love you!

George Clooney’s next movie is The American in which he plays an assassin hiding out in the Italian countryside. To promote the film, the director, former photographer Anton Corbijn, did…

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It’s Everybody Else’s FaultBy toddAugust 13, 2010


Dina Lohan, the enabling cunt who should have her uterus ripped out, sat down for an interview with Today’s Matt Lauer, and proceeded to blame everyone and anyone for Lindsay’s problems. I bet you didn’t see that coming.

An argumentative Dina Lohan – placing the blame on the judge no longer on the case and staunchly defending the behavior of her daughter Lindsay Lohan – appeared on Friday’s Today show, declaring there was nothing wrong with her child. “I’m not condoning drinking and driving, but she’s still paying the price for what she did in 2007,” said an often-agitated Dina, 47, referring to Lindsay’s two DUI cases from three years ago. As for Lindsay, 24, today, “She’s changed,” says her mother. “She’s grown up considerably.” Repeatedly accusing Judge Marsha Revel of “going overboard” and “playing hardball” by ordering Lindsay to jail for 90 days (she served 13) and into rehab, Dina said that information will be coming out next week showing that the jurist had to remove herself from the case before she was about to be fired. Defending Lindsay, who was at the Cannes Film Festival when she was expected in court in Los Angeles for a progress review, Dina said, “She was in [jail] for just missing a couple of classes and was working at the time.” In addition, Dina noted, by Lindsay’s being behind bars, “She missed driving classes.” The actress also came into personal contact with murderers, said her mother, adding, “She made friends with them.” Pressed about her daughter’s problems, Dina said, “That’s all propaganda,” and called tabloid coverage of Lindsay “pre-orchestrated. You’re reading things that are not based on fact.” Unlike Julia Roberts and other stars, said Dina, Lindsay’s behavior is unfairly scrutinized. “Her life is magnified. Her life is under a microscope … Lindsay doesn’t realize a lot of people are watching her.” Asked if she’s been there for her daughter – after a visibly frustrated Lauer first suggested that Dina, ex-husband Michael Lohan and Lindsay’s friends “have done nothing to help Lindsay” – Dina said that part of a parent’s responsibility is to grant a child her freedom.

I would never condone violence against women in any way (unless you paid up front), but I could accidentally run over Dina Lohan with my truck and I would jump out and high-five people to make it seem I did it on purpose.

Dina Lohan, the enabling cunt who should have her uterus ripped out, sat down for an interview with Today’s Matt Lauer, and proceeded to blame everyone and anyone for Lindsay’s…

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