Miranda Kerr Has Wanted To Bang Chicks For A WhileBy toddApril 03, 2014
Miranda Kerr Has Wanted To Bang Chicks For A While

 

Last week, Miranda Kerr almost broke the Internet after she said that she's ready to scissor now that she's single, but as it turns out, she's been wanting to go full on lesbian for a while. Like in this 2008 interview where she says she'd go gay for the Australian former model Megan Gale (here). Megan Gale is 5'11" and kinda looks like a dude, so if she really wanted to be a lesbian she should have stayed with Orlando Bloom, no? Am I missing somthing here? He looks like he has a drawer just for nail polish.

 

  Last week, Miranda Kerr almost broke the Internet after she said that she's ready to scissor now that she's single, but as it turns out, she's been wanting to…

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A Hole Reunion Is Coming In MayBy toddApril 03, 2014
A Hole Reunion Is Coming In May

 

I'm probably more excited about this than I should be.

Twelve years after they first disbanded, the members of Hole will reunite to release new music and embark on a short U.K. tour. Courtney Love revealed to The Quietus that she and her "Celebrity Skin"-era bandmates, who played together from 1994 to 1998, will release a new song entitled "Wedding Day" in May. "I started playing with [drummer Patty Schemel] and [bassist Melissa Auf der Maur] and [guitarist Eric Erlandson], just to see how that was," Love said. "We already played like three or four times in the last week." Love and the other Hole members have hinted at reunions over the past few years. They appeared together in 2011 at the premiere of "Hit So Hard," a documentary about Schemel's life. In a photo posted to Twitter in December, Love promised something "very interesting."

Say what you want about Courtey Love, like, she might have killed Kurt Cobain and made it look like a suicide, but Live Through This was one of the best albums of the 90s. And if you disagree with me, you're dumb. I'm sorry that you have to hear it like this. Also, say what you want about heroin, but it has an unblemished track record when it comes to creating great music. Did you know that Katy Perry wrote all her albums completely sober? True story.

 

  I'm probably more excited about this than I should be. Twelve years after they first disbanded, the members of Hole will reunite to release new music and embark on…

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James Franco Tried To Bang A 17-Year Old Instagram ChickBy toddApril 03, 2014

 

Whatever the media tries to tell you, Twitter and Instagram are America's #1 dating/banging apps, so when James Franco met 17-year old Lucy from Scotland outside his Broadway show Of Mice and Men, he told her her to tag him in her Instagram video. And by "tag" I mean, "I want to be able to find you later so I can follow you and DM you to see if you want to bang me in a hotel.

Actor/poet/aspiring MFA-Ph.D. James Franco might also be able to add "creepy older dude" to his C.V. after he—or someone very convincingly pretending to be him—tried to arrange a hotel hookup with a 17-year-old girl on Instagram. The girl, a small-town Scottish lass named Lucy, says she was on a trip to New York City as an early birthday present, and met Franco at his Broadway show, Of Mice and Men. She took an Instagram video with him, and he told her, "You gotta tag me." She did, and the 35-year-old Franco began an Instagram flirtation later that night. Lucy posted the whole thing to Imgur, so we now know exactly what James Franco's text game looks like. It's possible the messages in these screenshots have been faked, but Lucy did ask Franco to send photo proof of his identity—twice. The attempted hookup was not fated to occur, however, because Lucy doesn't turn 18 until May (and she ignored Franco's request not to tell her friends about their private Instagram convo).

You can see the texts and DMs HERE, HERE and HERE, or you can go back to texting the cam girl who followed you on Instagram last week. The one with the tattoos and the 6-month old. That's kinda gross, bro.

 

  Whatever the media tries to tell you, Twitter and Instagram are America's #1 dating/banging apps, so when James Franco met 17-year old Lucy from Scotland outside his Broadway show…
Lady Gaga Is Very FashionableBy toddApril 03, 2014

Lady Gaga being Lady Gaga, she wore four different outfits yesterday for some reason and here is one of them for her performance at Roseland. Why doesn't her father love her? Why doesn't he call her? We should really get to the bottom of this.

Lady Gaga being Lady Gaga, she wore four different outfits yesterday for some reason and here is one of them for her performance at Roseland. Why doesn't her father love…

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RIP Jennifer Love Hewitt (1995-2014)By toddApril 02, 2014

Hey, remember in I Know What You Did Last Summer when you would have ice hooked the entire cast to bang Jennifer Love Hewitt? Good times, good times. Well, it's 2014 now and she's 35 and just had a baby and this is what she looks like now. Women usually hit the wall harder than Dale Earnhardt when they hit 30, and when you add in a human being pushed out of their vagina, you might as well send them over to Amon Goeth. They are no longer essential to our operation here on Earth. Basically what I'm saying is to women over 35 is, ummm, ewwww.

Hey, remember in I Know What You Did Last Summer when you would have ice hooked the entire cast to bang Jennifer Love Hewitt? Good times, good times. Well, it's…

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Bar Refaeli Got A Gold FacialBy toddApril 02, 2014
Bar Refaeli Got A Gold Facial

 

When I hear the words "Bar Refaeli" and "facial" in the same sentence, "gold" isn't really the first thing that comes to mind. Yet here we are. A picture of physical perfection is getting 24-carat gold poured on her face. I wonder if Leonardo DiCaprio ever said that to her as a euphemism.

 

pic source = Instagram

  When I hear the words "Bar Refaeli" and "facial" in the same sentence, "gold" isn't really the first thing that comes to mind. Yet here we are. A picture…

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Samuel L. Jackson Continues To Be The Greatest Living HumanBy toddApril 02, 2014

 

What's the best way to start your Wednesday besides having morning sex? Listening to Samuel L. Jackson perform a slam poetry reading about Boy Meets World, of course. Play it while you're having sex. Best of both worlds, man.

  What's the best way to start your Wednesday besides having morning sex? Listening to Samuel L. Jackson perform a slam poetry reading about Boy Meets World, of course. Play…

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Kanye West Doesn’t Care About AustraliansBy toddApril 01, 2014
Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Australians

 

Because his ego had a scheduling conflict, Kanye West has postposed the Australia leg of his Yeezus tour to work on a new album. Kanye is the only person I know who would willingly decide not to go to Australia. Great white sharks love it there.

Rap genius, self-proclaimed fashionista and the internet's favourite figure of fun, Kanye West, has decided to postpone his tour of Australia next month. Instead he will play in Australia in September, a tour which could have a silver lining for fans. Tour promoter Live Nation said Kanye changed the dates because he was busy finishing his next studio album. Their statement read: "Due to unexpected timing requirements to finish his highly anticipated new studio album, scheduled for a 2014 release, Kanye West regretfully announces the postponement of his upcoming tour dates in Australia." The current tour is to promote his worldwide chart-topping 2013 album Yeezus. Kanye's upcoming seventh studio album, due for release in mid-2014, will be produced by Rick Rubin (who also produced Yeezus) and A Tribe Called Quest founder and MC Q-Tip. The May postponement, while disappointing for many, will likely allow fans to see songs performed from both Yeezus and the as-yet-unnamed new record.

I honestly don't have a joke for this story, because I started doing Gym Jones and Crossfit at the same time this week and now I think I might be partially paralyzed. I've basically spent the last five minutes staring at the burrito I dropped on the floor. I want it. I want it so bad.

 
  Because his ego had a scheduling conflict, Kanye West has postposed the Australia leg of his Yeezus tour to work on a new album. Kanye is the only person…

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Kendall Jenner Seems Very RelaxedBy toddApril 01, 2014
Kendall Jenner Seems Very Relaxed

 

Kendall Jenner doesn't rally have much of an ass or boobs, and at this angle it looks like she just spent about $40 at Taco Bell then swung by Zaxby's, but hey, it's a chick in a bikini. I know that's what you all came to see. My horrific grammar is a

  Kendall Jenner doesn't rally have much of an ass or boobs, and at this angle it looks like she just spent about $40 at Taco Bell then swung by…

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Emma Watson Is Very AttractiveBy toddApril 01, 2014

Long story short, Emma Watson is gorgeous. I really don't know what else needs to be said here. Although, with a chick this hot, there's really only one way to make her unattractive. What's that? Glad you asked. The only way to make her unattractive is for me to go down on her. See the after picture here. It's ok, Emma Watson. Breathe through it…breathe. There ya go.

Long story short, Emma Watson is gorgeous. I really don't know what else needs to be said here. Although, with a chick this hot, there's really only one way to…

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