There’s A Kylie Jenner/Tyga Sex TapeBy toddMay 20, 2016
There’s A Kylie Jenner/Tyga Sex Tape


Remember that Kris Jenner strategy we were talking about earlier? Sometimes you just gotta stick with what got you here. 

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Remember that Kris Jenner strategy we were talking about earlier? Sometimes you just gotta stick with what got you here. 

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Ellen Let Kanye West Talk For 8 MinutesBy toddMay 19, 2016
Ellen Let Kanye West Talk For 8 Minutes




Kanye West was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today, where he went on rant saying he could make the world a better place. If somebody would just give him money. he didn’t really go into detail about exactly how he would make the world a better place, because he mostly talked about himself. Apparently his father living in a homeless shelter means he’s meant to change the world? He wasn’t clear. Then something about the Oscars and stopping bullying in school by giving everybody nice clothes. He also compared himself to Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, and Picasso. He also called himself “the Michael Jackson of apparel”. I’ll let you figure this all out.


Kanye West was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today, where he went on rant saying he could make the world a better place. If somebody would just give him money….

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Christine Teigen Is Good At TwitterBy toddApril 20, 2011

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I’m gonna lie for a second and say Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are really great friends of mine (remember that table I got you at Tobacco Road? BFFs do that). Now that’s out of the way, besides her mutant power to accurately predict earthquakes before they happen and being a total sweetheart who emailed me asking how I was after SIXTY-TWO tornadoes hit NC this weekend, Chrissy Teigen is by far the funniest person I follow on Twitter. I mean, like it’s not even close. So for her 10,000 tweet, she celebrated by posting the banner pic. I don’t know. Maybe I should have paid more attention to my piano teacher as a kid. But damn, bitch! How many times do I have to play “Chopsticks”?! Seriously, am I playing piano or typing?! I hate you!!

I’m gonna lie for a second and say Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are really great friends of mine (remember that table I got you at Tobacco Road? BFFs do…

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Basically Just Given UpBy toddApril 20, 2011

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It’s going to take an elderly Mexican dragon to unlock a great, leather bound book and read a passage from the chapter “1998” for anybody under 20 to believe the myth that Jennifer Love Hewitt was once a hot piece of ass. She was. Now either she thinks it’s Christmas or L.A. is under a sever winter weather advisory, because she’s wearing about twenty layers of clothes. Maybe she wants people to think it’s Christmas, because that when people bring over pies. Who knows why she’s getting so fat. Maybe she wants to be one of People’s 2012 Most Beautiful People.

It’s going to take an elderly Mexican dragon to unlock a great, leather bound book and read a passage from the chapter “1998” for anybody under 20 to believe the…

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People Magazine Is SarcasticBy toddApril 19, 2011

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Is “Bombshell” some new kind of burrito? No, then why is Jessica Simpson in People magazine telling me she’s a sex symbol? Because the banner pic and the video below look like a before and after picture in a commercial where a guy tells me that I’ll burn fat and lose inches from my waist or I can return the bottle for a full refund! Real people! Real results! (*)

Double chins and Big Mama’s nightgown are hot:

(*) = These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. The pretend product Todd is rambling about instead of making an actual joke is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any diseases. Especially whatever your sister has. I mean, what is that? Look at that dude. Christ, what is that?!

Is “Bombshell” some new kind of burrito? No, then why is Jessica Simpson in People magazine telling me she’s a sex symbol? Because the banner pic and the video below…

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Miley Cyrus Has A New Tattoo. Yep, Its A Dream CatcherBy toddApril 18, 2011

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Since I generally like to make every post about me, whenever I meet someone, first they ask me if I speak Spanish. When I tell them no, they seem confused then awkwardly ask what the hell I am, basically. When I answer, 9 times out of 10 they follow with, “Oh, really?! My great-grandmother was 1/16 Cherokee!”. I’m not sure if they expect a hug or want me to trade with them or what, but this is really my long-winded segue into saying that a chick who was probably conceived on a flatbed truck with a bottle with Xs on it nearby has a tattoo of a dream catcher. Then posed with it in pigtails. Okay, you’ve seen Pocahontas. We get it. But I’m pretty sure Pocahontas has better weed.

Since I generally like to make every post about me, whenever I meet someone, first they ask me if I speak Spanish. When I tell them no, they seem confused…

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Vanessa Hudgens Looks Happy At Coachella, Probably Didn’t Just EatBy toddApril 18, 2011

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Vanessa Hudgens attended Coachella this weekend where a lot of people think she was doing blow in broad daylight. Who knows? Maybe she was. She cashes checks from Disney and agreed to star in Beastly, so there’s a pretty good chance. I’m just more concerned with all the hipster chicks who are there. They’ll probably think I’m deep because I have “BE” tattooed on my penis. That’s before they see it actually says “BEAST MODE”. They’re still right about the deep part of course, but not for the reasons they initially thought.

Vanessa Hudgens attended Coachella this weekend where a lot of people think she was doing blow in broad daylight. Who knows? Maybe she was. She cashes checks from Disney and…

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Kim Kardashian Waxes Her ForeheadBy toddApril 18, 2011

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Ooh, I’m so turned on right now.Daily Mail reports:

The 30-year-old reality star has spoken out about her obsession with hair removal – and even admitted that she used to wax her forehead. Kim said that up until two years ago she had baby hairs around her hairline that she used to have removed before opting for a more permanent method of laser surgery. ‘If you look at pictures of me from even three years ago, I had like two inches of baby hairs on my forehead. ‘But they weren’t thick enough to slick back, so they were permanently down and I would wax them all the time and now I lasered them and now they don’t come back,’ Kim tells Us Magazine.

But why stop at the forehead? Oh, that’s right. She doesn’t.

She also gets laser hair removal on her legs, arms, underarms and neck. Kim admits she’s been obsessed with having a hair free physique since before she was even a teenager. ‘Literally, at twelve years old I had a bikini wax. I had an appointment once a month on a specific day, like every Friday we’d go and and get the inside of our brows waxed and a bikini wax. Kim, who is a spokesperson for the TRIA Laser Hair Removal System, added: ‘I used to have my own wax kit at home and I used to just wax all the time. She admits can’t stand having hair on her body: ‘I’m, like, obsessed with hair removal.’ But when it comes to her men, she prefers that they go natural, especially in the region below the belt. Kim, who is currently dating NBA player Kris Humphries, said about her men: ‘I definitely don’t like it if there’s, like, nothing there, it’s weird, but I like it to be well groomed.’

I like how she talks about laser hair removal like it’s just a personal choice. You know, nothing that she really has do to, but something she enjoys because it makes her feel beautiful. But, to reiterate, she’s Armenian. She schedules laser treatments once a month and hoardes wax kits like Bigfoot with an identity crisis because if she didn’t, you’d need sandpaper to see this bitch’s face and people would chase her down the street trying to find anything silver to pick up to stab this chick with because obviously she’s a werewolf.

Ooh, I’m so turned on right now.Daily Mail reports: The 30-year-old reality star has spoken out about her obsession with hair removal – and even admitted that she used to…

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Nicolas Cage Is An IdiotBy jessApril 17, 2011


Nicolas Cage
got arrested for domestic abuse on Saturday morning, because there’s no actual charge for “being an asshole.” Per TMZ:

An argument broke out between Nicolas Cage and his wife Alice last night when the two disagreed over the exact address of an apartment they were renting in New Orleans … this according to police.

According to the NOPD, Cage and and his wife were standing in front of a property he believed they were renting. She disagreed and, according to the NOPD, he grabbed her by the arm to pull her to the correct address.

Police say there were no visible signs of injury on her arm.

The NOPD went on to say Cage then began to hit parked cars and later attempted to get into a taxi. Cops say Cage eventually got into a cab, but a police officer ordered him out … which “prompted Cage to start yelling.”

But wait. There’s more!

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Nic was “very drunk” on the streets of N.O. when a cab driver saw him loudly arguing with his wife Alice.

We’re told the cabbie called the police and said in addition to the screaming and yelling … he saw Nic grab her.

We’re told the police came and told Nic and his wife to just go home. That’s when Nic allegedly told cops, “Why don’t you just arrest me?” The cops then reiterated that he and his wife should just go home. Cage then repeated his dare to cops.

At that point, police took Nic into custody and charged him with …domestic abuse and disturbing the peace.

Cage was released on an $11,000 bond, despite being broke. How did that happen?

Nic Cage has friends in high places … TMZ has learned it was Duane “Dog” Chapman who posted the bond for Cage today.

As TMZ first reported, Cage was arrested this morning in New Orleans on charges of domestic violence and disturbing the peace after an alleged argument with his wife Alice.

Sources tell TMZ they were the ones who helped get Nic out of jail — he was being held on $11,000 bond.

Beth alluded to the bail out, posting on her Twitter, “My guy just walked out of the jail damn new Orleans 8 hours holy cow that’s a lot of time to Process one guy.”

To reiterate: Nicolas Cage got pissed at his wife because she was confused about an address, so he hit parked cars and taunted police officers, then had Dog the Bounty Hunter bail him out because he owes $14 million to the IRS and spends his money on shrunken heads and dinosaur skulls. A few things are to be learned from this: Get a GPS; be nice to people with mullets; and never dare a cop to arrest you, no matter how much they look like the one you hired for your bff’s bachelorette party.

I imagine his tirade looked a lot like this:

Nicolas Cage got arrested for domestic abuse on Saturday morning, because there’s no actual charge for “being an asshole.” Per TMZ: An argument broke out between Nicolas Cage and his…

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