A Moment With Candice SwanepoelBy toddMarch 19, 2014
A Moment With Candice Swanepoel

 

Hey, guys. I need to go grab some lunch, so while I'm away, spend some time with quality time Candice Swanepoel. If you're a chick reading this, I hope this ruins your appetitite. Take the knife you were gonna spread Nutella on that fried chick and carve "BIKINI SEASON" in your arm. Thanks me later.

 

pic source = Instagram

  Hey, guys. I need to go grab some lunch, so while I'm away, spend some time with quality time Candice Swanepoel. If you're a chick reading this, I hope…

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‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’By toddMarch 19, 2014
‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’

 

Announced by Disney and Lucasfilm on Monday that the 7th installment of the Star Wars saga will begin shooting in May, we now know when it will take place. A long, long time ago except thirty years later in a galaxy far, far away. Or it might not be that far away now. The force of expansion is greater than the force of gravity, so we really have no way of telling. So, it would seem to depend on the circumstantial environment of the galaxy. Is it a member of a super-cluster? Does it have anything near enough to significantly affect it gravitationally? George Lucas didn't really specify. To be honest, he was kinda vague.

The first of three brand new, highly-anticipated Star Wars installments will be set 30 years after Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. (The 1983 sci-fi flick starred Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia and Harrison Ford as Han Solo.) According to the official website, Episode VII will "star a trio of new young leads along with some very familiar faces." Per Reuters, Walt Disney CEO Bob Iger divulged no casting details to shareholders in the company's annual meeting on Tuesday, March 18, other than announcing the return of beloved robot R2D2 in the new installment.

One of the "very familiar faces" is rumored to be Harrison Ford, and that would be sad. Nobody wants that. Han Solo was already frozen in carbonite, we don't need see him frozen by fibromyalgia or a hip replacement surgery.

  Announced by Disney and Lucasfilm on Monday that the 7th installment of the Star Wars saga will begin shooting in May, we now know when it will take place….

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This Is George Clooney’s New GirlfriendBy toddMarch 19, 2014
This Is George Clooney’s New Girlfriend

 

George Clooney has been spotted with this chick a lot recently, so media reports are saying they are dating. Her name is Amal Alamuddin, and she's an Oxford and New York University School Of Law-educated barrister specializing in International Law (she represented Julian Assange to help fight his extradition), she speaks fluent French, Arabic, and is also a published author. "But, like, how does she look in a bikini?" Stacy Keibler was quoted as saying.

  George Clooney has been spotted with this chick a lot recently, so media reports are saying they are dating. Her name is Amal Alamuddin, and she's an Oxford and…

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Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A WeekBy toddMarch 19, 2014
Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A Week

 

It's always a great plan to give a sociopath time for silent reflection.

Chris Brown will stink to holy hell … because he's only allowed one shower every two days. According to our sources, Brown — who will sit in jail until April 23 — is in solitary confinement 23 hours a day … which means he won't have a cellmate to disgust with his vile odor. We're told Brown is allowed to work out in his cell and can read library books.

Man, this should be great rehabilitation for Chris Brown. Forced isolation, limited human contact, denial of regular hygiene, and side eyes from the librarian. He should come out of this a completely changed person. Or, in an even more realistic scenario, he'll come out free but trapped in the prison of his own mind ready to unleash his anger on the system on the first person he sees. Solid plan. Solitary is more for his protection in this case, but they really should put him in general population. A regimented schedule, trips to the cafeteria, an hour each day to go outside to socialize and exercise with his fellow inmates, a chance to enroll in a class, and to be taught to obey authority without question. Wait, I think I just described public school. Either or.

 
  It's always a great plan to give a sociopath time for silent reflection. Chris Brown will stink to holy hell … because he's only allowed one shower every two…

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Enjoy Your Next FlightBy toddOctober 15, 2013

 

Planes and the science of flight are awesome, but the downside is that they're usually filled with humans, so based on the percentages alone, at least one is fucking batshit. Like this woman on a flight to Tampa who was running down the aisles asking people to pary for her mother. Once they sat her down and blocked her from the exits, she showed the ONE TRUE GOD THAT HE IS HE SAVIOR. You know, in between telling a guy, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!". She might be sending some mixed signals here.

  Planes and the science of flight are awesome, but the downside is that they're usually filled with humans, so based on the percentages alone, at least one is fucking…
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Courtney Stodden Has A Sex TapeBy toddMay 17, 2013

Since famehores hate when other famewhores steall all their famewhore spotlight, Courtney Stodden is now claiming she has a sex tape. But it's private and you can't see it. Translation: "I plan to start a bidding war and whoever pays me the most will hearing from my fake lawyer because I'm going to pretend it was stolen but not pursue monetary damages because I've already been paid." E! reports:

Surprise, surprise: The provocative teen bride reveals exclusively to E! News that she's made a sex tape. But—before you start girding for a brouhaha of Farrah Abraham proportions—the 18-year-old adds that the video, which reportedly features her solo and was supposedly shot recently after she turned 18, is private. The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is "not out in the media" nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up. "Hackers, don't even go there cause you'll find nothing," Doug Hutchison's wife tells us about poking around her computer. As for what's on the tape, it's "just me," she claims, adding that it wasn't shot too long ago. "I turned 18 in August, so you do the math."

First, let's get this out of the way: Courtney Stodden turned 18 in August sometime in the 90's, so all let's stop believing this. Secondly, I would very much like to watch this. It's one of the drawbacks of having a penis. You're pretty much at it's mercy. DAMN YOU, COURTNEY.

Since famehores hate when other famewhores steall all their famewhore spotlight, Courtney Stodden is now claiming she has a sex tape. But it's private and you can't see it. Translation:…

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Lindsay Lohan Hit A Baby With Her CarBy toddSeptember 03, 2010

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In California, if you get two DUIs, get found with cocaine twice, leave the scene of an accident, and plow through L.A. after you hijack a car, you’re still cool to drive. No big deal. You know, unless you HIT A FUCKING BABY. Radar Online reports:

Lindsay Lohan clipped a stroller holding a baby while driving her high-powered Maserati, two eyewitnesses to the incident exclusively tell RadarOnline.com. The two onlookers identified the Mean Girls star in her West Hollywood neighborhood around 5pm Wednesday, when she accidentally hit the woman and child after failing to look both ways before turning. “There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street,” witness Brayan Jaime told RadarOnline.com, in an exclusive interview. “Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them,” Jaime said. “Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going.” Jaime claims Lohan came out of the parking garage quickly, making only a brief pause at the red light instead of a full stop. A second witness at the scene told RadarOnline.com that the impact was minimal, so it’s possible Lohan didn’t realize it happened. Nonetheless, he insists contact was made. “She was just driving like crazy once I started following her. She was trying to lose me, blowing stop signs and stuff,” Jaime said, who followed Lohan after being stunned at what he saw. “Lindsay was scared because she knew I saw what she did.” But the incident doesn’t seem to have registered with Lohan, who was released from a court ordered rehab and jail sentence last month. When contacted for comment, she told RadarOnline.com, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dear God, Lindsay hasn’t even been out a month and she’s already the Angel of Death again. She shouldn’t even be allowed to drive on Mario Kart, much less an Italian sports car that registers at 160. I’d rather cut my own brakes and drive down a volcano than go through a car wash with this bitch behind the wheel.

In California, if you get two DUIs, get found with cocaine twice, leave the scene of an accident, and plow through L.A. after you hijack a car, you’re still cool…

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