Drake Is Banging Jennifer LopezBy toddDecember 24, 2016

<——– Lotta those

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on



PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it. But she’s not dead, so I’m gonna post a story I was gonna post on Tuesday but forgot because somebody brought over burritos. I’m going to post it now. The post is about Drake and Jennifer Lopez. You probably figured that out already though.

Drake and Jennifer Lopez might be more than just friends. A week after the 30-year-old rapper visited Lopez in Las Vegas for her residency return at Planet Hollywood, the two were spotted spending a little time together in Los Angeles on Monday night.  An eyewitness tells ET that Drake and Lopez, 47, stepped out for an intimate dinner at West Hollywood hot spot Delilah. While the two did dine with a small group of friends, the eyewitness says that Drake and J.Lo appeared to be on a date.

I’m not really a fan of Drake’s pussy begging music, but if Jennifer Lopez asks you to bang her, you do it. I had more planned for this post, but it’s Christmas Eve. Make up your own.

 

<——– Lotta those A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on Dec 11, 2016 at 3:48am PST PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it….

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Justin Bieber Is Very GracefulBy toddDecember 22, 2016

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year. Why you gotta tease us like that, 2016? We know what you’re capable of, dude. Step your damn game up. Look at all those rocks in these pictures. You can’t give us one subdural hematoma? Fuck you, buddy.

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year….

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Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom 3By toddDecember 22, 2016

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling what they hell they do in there. Probably some type of strip pilates that’s supposed to benefit Aleppo and shelter dogs or some shit. Whatever it is, it’s not making her ass any smaller. In fact, it’s making it exponentially larger. Maybe this place makes their own dough. No way to be sure until we send an investigative team in. I feel the public needs to know.

In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling…

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A Moment With Candice SwanepoelBy toddMarch 19, 2014
A Moment With Candice Swanepoel

 

Hey, guys. I need to go grab some lunch, so while I'm away, spend some time with quality time Candice Swanepoel. If you're a chick reading this, I hope this ruins your appetitite. Take the knife you were gonna spread Nutella on that fried chick and carve "BIKINI SEASON" in your arm. Thanks me later.

 

pic source = Instagram

  Hey, guys. I need to go grab some lunch, so while I'm away, spend some time with quality time Candice Swanepoel. If you're a chick reading this, I hope…

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‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’By toddMarch 19, 2014
‘Star Wars VII’ Will Take Place 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’

 

Announced by Disney and Lucasfilm on Monday that the 7th installment of the Star Wars saga will begin shooting in May, we now know when it will take place. A long, long time ago except thirty years later in a galaxy far, far away. Or it might not be that far away now. The force of expansion is greater than the force of gravity, so we really have no way of telling. So, it would seem to depend on the circumstantial environment of the galaxy. Is it a member of a super-cluster? Does it have anything near enough to significantly affect it gravitationally? George Lucas didn't really specify. To be honest, he was kinda vague.

The first of three brand new, highly-anticipated Star Wars installments will be set 30 years after Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. (The 1983 sci-fi flick starred Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia and Harrison Ford as Han Solo.) According to the official website, Episode VII will "star a trio of new young leads along with some very familiar faces." Per Reuters, Walt Disney CEO Bob Iger divulged no casting details to shareholders in the company's annual meeting on Tuesday, March 18, other than announcing the return of beloved robot R2D2 in the new installment.

One of the "very familiar faces" is rumored to be Harrison Ford, and that would be sad. Nobody wants that. Han Solo was already frozen in carbonite, we don't need see him frozen by fibromyalgia or a hip replacement surgery.

  Announced by Disney and Lucasfilm on Monday that the 7th installment of the Star Wars saga will begin shooting in May, we now know when it will take place….

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This Is George Clooney’s New GirlfriendBy toddMarch 19, 2014
This Is George Clooney’s New Girlfriend

 

George Clooney has been spotted with this chick a lot recently, so media reports are saying they are dating. Her name is Amal Alamuddin, and she's an Oxford and New York University School Of Law-educated barrister specializing in International Law (she represented Julian Assange to help fight his extradition), she speaks fluent French, Arabic, and is also a published author. "But, like, how does she look in a bikini?" Stacy Keibler was quoted as saying.

  George Clooney has been spotted with this chick a lot recently, so media reports are saying they are dating. Her name is Amal Alamuddin, and she's an Oxford and…

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Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A WeekBy toddMarch 19, 2014
Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A Week

 

It's always a great plan to give a sociopath time for silent reflection.

Chris Brown will stink to holy hell … because he's only allowed one shower every two days. According to our sources, Brown — who will sit in jail until April 23 — is in solitary confinement 23 hours a day … which means he won't have a cellmate to disgust with his vile odor. We're told Brown is allowed to work out in his cell and can read library books.

Man, this should be great rehabilitation for Chris Brown. Forced isolation, limited human contact, denial of regular hygiene, and side eyes from the librarian. He should come out of this a completely changed person. Or, in an even more realistic scenario, he'll come out free but trapped in the prison of his own mind ready to unleash his anger on the system on the first person he sees. Solid plan. Solitary is more for his protection in this case, but they really should put him in general population. A regimented schedule, trips to the cafeteria, an hour each day to go outside to socialize and exercise with his fellow inmates, a chance to enroll in a class, and to be taught to obey authority without question. Wait, I think I just described public school. Either or.

 
  It's always a great plan to give a sociopath time for silent reflection. Chris Brown will stink to holy hell … because he's only allowed one shower every two…

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Courtney Stodden Has A Sex TapeBy toddMay 17, 2013

Since famehores hate when other famewhores steall all their famewhore spotlight, Courtney Stodden is now claiming she has a sex tape. But it's private and you can't see it. Translation: "I plan to start a bidding war and whoever pays me the most will hearing from my fake lawyer because I'm going to pretend it was stolen but not pursue monetary damages because I've already been paid." E! reports:

Surprise, surprise: The provocative teen bride reveals exclusively to E! News that she's made a sex tape. But—before you start girding for a brouhaha of Farrah Abraham proportions—the 18-year-old adds that the video, which reportedly features her solo and was supposedly shot recently after she turned 18, is private. The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is "not out in the media" nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up. "Hackers, don't even go there cause you'll find nothing," Doug Hutchison's wife tells us about poking around her computer. As for what's on the tape, it's "just me," she claims, adding that it wasn't shot too long ago. "I turned 18 in August, so you do the math."

First, let's get this out of the way: Courtney Stodden turned 18 in August sometime in the 90's, so all let's stop believing this. Secondly, I would very much like to watch this. It's one of the drawbacks of having a penis. You're pretty much at it's mercy. DAMN YOU, COURTNEY.

Since famehores hate when other famewhores steall all their famewhore spotlight, Courtney Stodden is now claiming she has a sex tape. But it's private and you can't see it. Translation:…

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It’s HereBy toddAugust 16, 2010

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Kelly Brook‘s much anticipated issue of Playboy is out now, and you’ve probably already clicked the banner pic (NSFW) to see her pictures so I’ll just take this time to say that the stripper at the bachelor party I went to on Friday might be able to get money for the college classes that she’s not enrolled in if she didn’t talk about her 1-year old son’s trip to the emergency room for being compacted. You know, just a suggestion.

Kelly Brook‘s much anticipated issue of Playboy is out now, and you’ve probably already clicked the banner pic (NSFW) to see her pictures so I’ll just take this time to…

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