If told me that in 2018 a person who didn’t work in the White House would bring shame and embarrassment to America, I wouldn’t have believed you. Now that we know it was Fergie, it kinda makes sense in retrospect. Anyway, her National Anthem performancewas so bad, she had to release a statement to TMZ.
“I’ve always been honored and proud to perform the national anthem and last night I wanted to try something special for the NBA. I’m a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn’t strike the intended tone. I love this country and honestly tried my best.“
Like, did you though? If this was your best, maybe decline the offer and let a cat being strangled give it a shot.
According to Mueller, we’re pretty much all Russian bots now because we mostly get our news from memes, so I’m not sure if a movie glamorizing the effectiveness of a Russian spy is what Hollywood needs to be sending out into the world right now, but here we are. Jennifer Lawrence attended the Red Sparrow photocall with her boobs out to distract us from the fact that she’s a Russian spy in the movie. She really has a career in politics.
It’s easy to forget to how hot Christina Aguilera was before the Latin genes and having a bunch of kids caught up to her, but she wants to remind you in Instagram with a few pics in black and white that she took in very low lighting with several filters. You know, much like your Instagram pics. The rack still looks great and what an amazing bathtub. Very decadent.
Black Panther is making all the money right now and Disney has pledged to take 25% of the profits to help the black community. Haha jk, Disney is going to keep all of it because they are a soulless media conglomerate. Wakanda profits forever. But Chadwick Boseman and director Ryan Coogler are profiled (in a good way) in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, and that’s really great. You should also see the movie, because it’s also pretty great except the CGI.
Man, what a wild Black History Month it’s been so far. The 2018 NBA All-Star Game was last night and Fergie paid tribute to famous black singer Jessica Rabbit with her stunning rendition of the National Anthem. After performing, Fergie immediately fled the country and is now seeking asylum at the Embassy of Ecuador in London. My sources haven’t confirmed this yet, but she probably also deleted her Twitter.
Man, what a wild Black History Month it’s been so far. The 2018 NBA All-Star Game was last night and Fergie paid tribute to famous black singer Jessica Rabbit…
Jennifer Lawrence basically plays John Wick in Red Sparrow, but since it’s a woman John Wick, Hollywood had to make her a prostitute instead of just a woman John Wick. Oh, I’m sorry. They made her a “seductive Russian spy.” Not the same thing. My apologies. I remember in Taken when Liam Neeson had to put on a low cut dress and give one of those guys a handjob to find out where his daughter was. Pretty intense scene. Also, lol at Jennifer Lawrence’s Russian accent.
A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on
PSA: I’m awake because if Carrie Fisher died, I was gonna post about it. But she’s not dead, so I’m gonna post a story I was gonna post on Tuesday but forgot because somebody brought over burritos. I’m going to post it now. The post is about Drake and Jennifer Lopez. You probably figured that out already though.
Drake and Jennifer Lopez might be more than just friends. A week after the 30-year-old rapper visited Lopez in Las Vegas for her residency return at Planet Hollywood, the two were spotted spending a little time together in Los Angeles on Monday night. An eyewitness tells ET that Drake and Lopez, 47, stepped out for an intimate dinner at West Hollywood hot spot Delilah. While the two did dine with a small group of friends, the eyewitness says that Drake and J.Lo appeared to be on a date.
I’m not really a fan of Drake’s pussy begging music, but if Jennifer Lopez asks you to bang her, you do it. I had more planned for this post, but it’s Christmas Eve. Make up your own.
Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year. Why you gotta tease us like that, 2016? We know what you’re capable of, dude. Step your damn game up. Look at all those rocks in these pictures. You can’t give us one subdural hematoma? Fuck you, buddy.
Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year….
In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duffleaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling what they hell they do in there. Probably some type of strip pilates that’s supposed to benefit Aleppo and shelter dogs or some shit. Whatever it is, it’s not making her ass any smaller. In fact, it’s making it exponentially larger. Maybe this place makes their own dough. No way to be sure until we send an investigative team in. I feel the public needs to know.
In what appears to be my weekly installment of Hilary Duff: Thick Ass Mom, here’s Hilary Duff leaving some type of workout out place. It’s Studio City, so there’s no telling…
You know what's the worst? Pulling up in your chauffeur driven , blacked out SUV to a Miami yacht party and not being to get your drink on because your roid freak bodyguards are beating up paparazzi who recorded the whole thing.
Justin Bieber's bodyguards got physical with paparazzi trying to shoot his arrival at a yacht party in Miami — prompting Justin to get a little whiny … pleading about how difficult his life has become. Watch the vid … Justin was about to kick off his booze-filled 4th of July bash when one of his bodyguards — who's already been arrested in Miami — threw a hard forearm into the chest of a pap running up to the scene. To his credit, Justin tried to calm the situation from the backseat of his SUV limo — asking the paps to just back up 10 feet, but when they didn't he went into woe-is-me mode. You gotta see Justin beg a female photog, "This is so ridiculous. Look what happens in my life." And then he got on the yacht and partied without a worry in the world.
Damn. Why they gotta do my man Biebs like that? Let the man walk through. Sizzurp can only sit for so long before it goes bad.
You know what's the worst? Pulling up in your chauffeur driven , blacked out SUV to a Miami yacht party and not being to get your drink on because…