Katy Perry Calls Orlando Bloom ‘Her Boyfriend’ NowBy toddMarch 22, 2016
Katy Perry Calls Orlando Bloom ‘Her Boyfriend’ Now


It’s been barely two months since Orlando Bloom saw Katy Perry’s boobs at the Golden Globes then took them home and did what you do with boobs like that. They’ve basically been together ever since, and were spotted in Malibu yesterday all up on each other.  

“Katy likes how down to earth Orlando is,” the insider explained to us earlier this month. “They seem to be getting serious and are an official couple. She calls him her boyfriend.

Katy Perry doesn’t seem to be wearing makeup in those pics E! has up, so Orlando Bloom really must be in love or the boobs haven’t worn off yet. Like I said, it’s only been two months. Give it time.


Look, Orlando Bloom has already banged this and was married to Miranda Kerr. He’ll snap out of whatever this is eventually. 


It’s been barely two months since Orlando Bloom saw Katy Perry’s boobs at the Golden Globes then took them home and did what you do with boobs like that. They’ve…

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McAvoy and Fassbender Doing Stewart And McKellan Impressions Is The GreatestBy toddMay 30, 2014

 

There's really not much I can say about this video of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender doing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan impressions except that it is great.So great that I watched it twice. To make you understand what that mean, a chick just walked into the coffee shop in yoga shorts and I only looked at her once.

  There's really not much I can say about this video of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender doing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan impressions except that it is great.So great…

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The MPAA Banned This Poster For ‘Sin City 2’By toddMay 30, 2014
The MPAA Banned This Poster For ‘Sin City 2’

 

The Motion Picture Association of America, and their irrational fear of the female body and orgasm, have took it upon themselves to ban this poster for Sin City 2 that depicts Eva Green and her boobs for being "too racy". Please keep in mind that we all just saw Hugh Jackman's naked ass in X-Men: Days Of Future Past for no other reason than "hey, look. here's Hugh Jackman's naked ass". But you show a hint of titty and the world might collapse on itself. I happen to enjoy breasts a great deal, as do a lot of people. The female form is the most beautiful thing that has ever been created or ever will be created. That's why there's 7 billion of us living here right now. The only reason I ever pull out now is because I'm trying to improve my credit score.

  The Motion Picture Association of America, and their irrational fear of the female body and orgasm, have took it upon themselves to ban this poster for Sin City 2…

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Ex-Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Bought The Clippers For $2BBy toddMay 30, 2014
Ex-Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Bought The Clippers For $2B

 

"Now hear me out on this…'The Los Angeles Cliparts'''

 

Yay! Billionaire white dudes ftw.

Steve Ballmer won the bidding war to buy the Clippers for $2 billion, although other NBA owners and possibly Donald Sterling must still approve any sale. But Ballmer clearly has the money to buy the team — he amassed his fortune as a longtime executive of software giant Microsoft Corp. Forbes estimates Ballmer's net worth totals $20 billion, mainly because of the Microsoft stock he owns, ranking him 35th among the world's billionaires This isn't the first time Ballmer has pursued an NBA franchise.

Steve Ballmer has tried twice before to buy an NBA franchise, one time he tried to buy the Milawukee Bucks, so it's pretty clear that he really, really wants to own an NBA team, and it doesn't particulary matter which one. The $2B he paid for the Los Angeles Clippers is almost FOUR TIMES more that the previous record NBA purchase price. I could sit here and say that's a bad business decision, but I pretty much do the same thing at Starbucks everyday,

  "Now hear me out on this…'The Los Angeles Cliparts'''   Yay! Billionaire white dudes ftw. Steve Ballmer won the bidding war to buy the Clippers for $2 billion, although…

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Real DumbBy toddMay 30, 2014
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Real Dumb

 

Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow gives an interview, you can expect her to say dumb shit that has no basis in reality or reason, so when she compared mean Internet comments to surviving a war, everybody went crazy because we all still live in a paradigm where war is still considered a noble and heroic thing.

She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war. “You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it,” she said. “My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”

You can look it up, but Paltrow basically attended a hippie commune instead of a high school, and her "next level of conscience" is when she finds room to shove more of her head of up her own ass, so she's been out of touch with reality for long time now. But comparing reading mean comments to a soldier's life? That's just ignorant. Paltrow knows nothing about military life. For instance, I assume Paltrow has great healthcare and when Chris Martin went on tour she never cheated on him.

  Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow gives an interview, you can expect her to say dumb shit that has no basis in reality or reason, so when she compared mean Internet comments…

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I Guess I Should Post Those Scout Willis Topless PicsBy toddMay 29, 2014
I Guess I Should Post Those Scout Willis Topless Pics

 

Scout Willis posted topless pictures of herself walking around NYC yesterday (you can see the hi-res NSFW versions here and here) because something about an Instagram policy about nipples or something like that. I don't know. I think it was about nipples, because 22-year old, rich white girls like raging against stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things like public nipples, gluten free cookies, and dolphins. But she's right. That's why shows like Teen Mom and Girls Gone Wild and porn are so beneficial to our society. They teach women to be empowered and not exploited and not to let their lives be dictated by what the patriachy says, because…no, wait. Let me start over.

 

 

Scout Willis Topless

  Scout Willis posted topless pictures of herself walking around NYC yesterday (you can see the hi-res NSFW versions here and here) because something about an Instagram policy about nipples…

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Aaron Hernandez Killed Those Two Dudes in 2012 Because They Spilled His DrinkBy toddMay 29, 2014
Aaron Hernandez Killed Those Two Dudes in 2012 Because They Spilled His Drink

 

Aaron Hernandez leads all NFL tight ends in overreactions.

Aaron Hernandez was arraigned today for the drive-by murders of Daniel Abreu and Safiro Furtado outside a Boston club in July 2012. He pleaded not guilty, and for the first time, the prosecution offered a suspected motive: disrespect. According to the D.A., Abreu accidentally bumped into Hernandez, spilling a drink, and did not apologize. This infuriated Hernandez, who according to the prosecution felt he had been increasingly disrespected at clubs. Surveillance video captured Hernandez angrily pacing outside the club before the victims left. The victims had no idea Hernandez was angry at them, let alone that he was following them when they left the club. According to the prosecution, Hernandez pulled up alongside their car at a stop light, said "Yo, what's up now, [racial slur]?" and fired at least five shots.

Damn, homey. Stalking someone and shooting them at point blank range seems like a perfectly sane response to someone accidentally bumping into you in a crowded club. You signed a 5-year extension with the Patriots that included the largest signing bonus ever given to a tight end in NFL history the month before, so why not kill two people because they didn't apologize? Money isn't everything. You deserve respect. But I'm not sure how much you're gonna get in America, bro. You had a bunch of guns, but you only managed to kill like what, three people total? What's up with that? Kinda amateur. Sorry.

  Aaron Hernandez leads all NFL tight ends in overreactions. Aaron Hernandez was arraigned today for the drive-by murders of Daniel Abreu and Safiro Furtado outside a Boston club in…

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Coke’s Super Bowl Ad Is Scaring White PeopleBy toddFebruary 03, 2014

 

Conservative white people love being scared. That's why you never see more than three Native Americans together at one time, and that's pretty much the reason the 2nd Amendment was created. Anyway, Coke is now apparently a malicious threat to your liberty and the foundation of our democracy because they had a bunch of kids singing "America The Beautiful" in different languages. Obviously its just another subversive plot by the Obama administration to shove diversity and harmony down our throats. Take it away Brietbart:

Executives at Coca Cola thought it was a good idea to run a 60 second Super Bowl ad featuring children singing "America the Beautiful" – a deeply Christian patriotic anthem whose theme is unity – in several foreign languages. The ad also prominently features a gay couple. Conservatives instantly lit up social media with objections, with many vowing to boycott the soda company's products. “If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing 'American the Beautiful' in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition," said former GOP Rep. Allen West.The lyrics of the song, written in 1893 by Wellesley College Professor Katherine Lee Bates, ask God to grant America “brotherhood / From sea to shining sea.” As far as the executives at Coca Cola are concerned, however, the United States of America is no longer a nation ruled by the Constitution and American traditions in which English is the language of government. It is not a nation governed in the Anglo-American tradition of liberty. It is instead a nation governed by some all inclusive multi-cultural synthesis of the various forms of government in the world, as expressed by the multiple languages used in the Super Bowl ad to sing a uniquely American hymn that celebrates our heritage….The old “America the Beautiful” is beautiful because of the blessings God had heaped on it and because its government offers “liberty in law,” while aspiring for togetherness. Coca Cola's America is beautiful because of the differences in its people. When the company used such an iconic song, one often sung in churches on the 4th of July that represents the old “E Pluribus Unum” view of how American society is integrated, to push multiculturalism down our throats, it's no wonder conservatives were outraged.

You can skip the blockquote if you want, because I already pressed 1 for scared white person, and it translates to "since everybody in this commercial wasn't white and putting on a American flag pin and tying a yellow ribbon around their Jesus fish car magnet while singing in English, this is offensive to tradional Americans because oh god look at all these brown people walking around outside we can't stop them I think my daughter is having sex with one oh Jesus America guns founding fathers." That's pretty much it. White conservatives didn't see something onscreen that represented them, so it scared and offended them.  And pretty please, with fructose sugar on top, stop bringing up the Founding Fathers. You have no idea what would offend or scare them if they were alive today. Actually, I do. You know what would scare the Founding Fathers if they were alive today? Airplanes. Robots. Your iPhone. Ninja turtles. Humans singing the praises of the American dream from sea to shining sea? Not so much. Not to point out the obvious here, but the world doesn't go away when you close your eyes. You can build your fence and bunker if you want, but we'll all be outside having a Coke and a smile.

  Conservative white people love being scared. That's why you never see more than three Native Americans together at one time, and that's pretty much the reason the 2nd Amendment…
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Floyd Mayweather Didn’t Bet $10M On The BroncosBy toddFebruary 03, 2014
Floyd Mayweather Didn’t Bet $10M On The Broncos

 

One out of every three Facebook statuses on my timeline last night was a picture saying boxer Floyd Mayweather bet $10.4M on the Denver Broncos to win the Super Bowl. So instead of belonging to "Less Money Team', he's still on "Money Team'. Oh, and stop sharing that picture. It's unseemly. Mashable reports:

Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks for winning the Super Bowl. For the record, I did NOT bet $10 million on The Broncos. As a matter of fact, I didn't bet at alI. I can't control what rumors are put out there. But good or bad publicity keeps me relevant. The only thing I would bet $10 million on is MYSELF because from the looks of my record, I'm a guaranteed WIN!!! I’m focused on that, my company www.themoneyteam.com and my tech investments.

I know this might be a disappointment to some of you, but before you throw your thermos across the office, please understand that you were excited over the thought of a person you never met losing $10M. Step outside. Go hug a loved one. Because I'm sorry for whatever happened to you for that to make you happy.

  One out of every three Facebook statuses on my timeline last night was a picture saying boxer Floyd Mayweather bet $10.4M on the Denver Broncos to win the Super…

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Nicki Minaj Got Bored YesterdayBy toddNovember 27, 2013
Nicki Minaj Got Bored Yesterday

 

Nicki Minaj apparently hasn't listened to any Kanye West interviews this week, because if she had, she'd know that she was being manipulated by brands and will never be pretty because Kim Kardashian is the most beautiful woman who has lived or will ever live. But she might not have understood because Kanye used slave analogies to describe how hard it is to be famous millionaire. Despite all that, Nicki Minaj decided that yesterday was a good day to post her boobs on Instagram. Not sure if it's because of Thanksgiving or what, but I'd very much like to put some gravy on these. Maybe some cranberry sauce. Let's mix it up. Why pressure ourselves?

 

Nicki Minaj Instagram

 

 

pic source = Instagram

  Nicki Minaj apparently hasn't listened to any Kanye West interviews this week, because if she had, she'd know that she was being manipulated by brands and will never be…