Tracy Morgan Can’t Joke About Anything NowBy toddJune 29, 2011

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Since groups who are discriminated against have no influence and are cursed to live in hiding for fear of their lives, Tracy Morgan has spent the last month apologizing to whiny fags after GLAAD and LBGT touched cock rings and combined their gay power to turn him into acceptance and tolerance zombie for his joke during a Nashville show. Now, he’s under fire again for saying the word “retarded”. You know, because retarded people might get offended if they hear this while they’re drooling and chasing a butterfly or getting a medal for finishing 23rd in a 40-yard dash. Us Magazine reports:

Only weeks after profusely apologizing to the LGBT community for his homophobic rant at a stand-up performance in Nashville, he managed to offend another group of people: the mentally disabled. “Don’t ever mess with women who have retarded kids,” Morgan, 42, said Saturday night at a performance in New York City, as reported by the New York Times. As groans of “uh-oh” were heard in the crowd, he continued, “Them young retarded males is strong. They’re strong like chimps.

Tracy should really change up his act to make it funnier. Maybe Tracy can talk about the differences between white people and black people (LOL black people like chicken! And white people are uptight!). Or maybe he can find a magic amulet and turn himself into a woman so he can make jokes about his period (omg! I bleed for five days and don’t die! haha isn’t that funny??!) Or maybe he can talk about how his cat thinks he’s human. Or maybe he can say how he just flew in from NYC and boy are his arms tired! Haha, that one always kills!!

Since groups who are discriminated against have no influence and are cursed to live in hiding for fear of their lives, Tracy Morgan has spent the last month apologizing to…

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Halle Berry Is In CourtBy toddJune 28, 2011

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Up until last year, Halle Berry was known as the Oscar-winning actress most likely to get gang raped if she ever stepped foot outside her house without a security detail. Then she broke up with Gabriel Aubry and they had to decide on a custody agreement. Then she got fucking crazy (here and here). They’re in court now. This should turn out well. TMZ reports:

Halle Berry is in family court right now, doing battle with Gabriel Aubry over custody of their 3-year-old daughter, Nahla. Halle’s lawyer filed a very thick stack of documents a few minutes ago, outlining trouble she’s had with Gabriel. We’re told the document lists Gabriel’s alleged failings as a dad. Gabriel didn’t show up, but his lawyer is there.

People need to learn there is a child’s well-being at stake, so instead of a lengthy court battle, they should turn to God’s word. Let the judge be like wise King Solomon. And tell the bailiff to hold the baby upside down and cut it in half with a sword. And whoever screams the loudest loves the baby more. Because, after all, it’s a child’s life. There’s really no reason to bring present facts or have logical discourse about the child’s well being. Put it in God’s hands.

Up until last year, Halle Berry was known as the Oscar-winning actress most likely to get gang raped if she ever stepped foot outside her house without a security detail….

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Kate Upton Is…Uhh…I Don’t Know AnymoreBy toddJune 28, 2011

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Look, I’m not saying Kate Upton is about to hit a wall, but after these pictures of her at the Horrible Bosses premiere and these from two weeks ago, somebody should probably buy her a neck brace pretty soon. Preferably an upgrade over Dale Earnhardt’s.

Look, I’m not saying Kate Upton is about to hit a wall, but after these pictures of her at the Horrible Bosses premiere and these from two weeks ago, somebody…

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Lady Gaga Is Getting SuedBy jessJune 26, 2011

Lady Gaga created charity bracelets for Japan’s earthquake relief. And for her own profit. Fox reports:

Lady Gaga is being sued for racketeering and corruption over allegations she scammed money from the sale of wristbands, which should have gone to the victims of Japan’s earthquake. “I’m suing Lady Gaga simply to hold her accountable for giving the money that she was raising for charity to the cause that she was trying to raise it for,” said Ari Kresch, an attorney with 1-800-LAW-FIRM, which is based in Southfield, Michigan. That cause being Japan’s disastrous earthquake and tsunami on March 11 that caused an estimated $200-billion worth of damage. “Everyone should come and visit this beautiful place. This is one of my most favorite places on earth,” Lady Gaga has said in the past. But soon in a Michigan federal courtroom, the poker face showdown over a $5-million lawsuit could kick off. “But when you use your celebrity and your power as a musician to take money from people under false pretenses, that’s just wrong,” said 1-800-LAW-FIRM attorney Alyson Oliver. Here’s the alleged scheme: Lady Gaga charges $5 for a “We Pray for Japan” wristband, another $3.99 for shipping and handling and $0.60 for tax. The lawsuit alleges that Gaga got greedy by inflating the shipping cost and pocketing the extra and refusing to disclose how much of the $5 actually goes to the Japanese victims. “When we tried to communicate with the defendants in this lawsuit, all we got was, well, some of the money is being retained, but we don’t really know how much, is the essence of the response that we got,” Oliver said.

(more…)

Lady Gaga created charity bracelets for Japan’s earthquake relief. And for her own profit. Fox reports: Lady Gaga is being sued for racketeering and corruption over allegations she scammed money…

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Jennifer Aniston Got InkedBy jessJune 26, 2011

Jennifer Aniston got a tattoo on her foot, which some speculated was a tribute to her new boyfriend, Justin Theroux. Almost. E! Online says:

Jennifer Aniston’s brand-new ink wasn’t inspired by her bad-boy boyfriend after all. Instead, her very first tattoo is a tribute to the other love of her life, the 42-year-old actress confirmed to E! News. So whose name is permanently etched on the inside of her right foot? Norman. That’s the moniker of Aniston’s beloved dog, who died this spring at the age of 15. “Norman” is also the answer she tearfully gave Inside the Actors Studio host James Lipton when he asked “What is your favorite word?”—one of his trademark questions—during the show’s taping Thursday. Aw.

So while Angelina Jolie is (more…)

Jennifer Aniston got a tattoo on her foot, which some speculated was a tribute to her new boyfriend, Justin Theroux. Almost. E! Online says: Jennifer Aniston’s brand-new ink wasn’t inspired…

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Chelsea Handler Is OffensiveBy jessJune 25, 2011

Serbians are so sensitive. The NY Daily News reports:

Chelsea Handler is the latest comedian being asked to apologize for an off-color routine.

On Monday’s episode of her E! late-night series “Chelsea Lately,” Handler made jokes about Serbians in a segment related to Amy Winehouse’s recent disastrous concert in Serbia. “Along with Chris Franjola, Natasha Leggero, and Greg Proops, Ms. Handler for 3 straight minutes ruthlessly attacked Serbia and its people,” it says on a Facebook page calling for a boycott of the star until she apologizes on air. Handler and her panel, as well as the audience, laughed as she said she didn’t know Serbians were allowed to attend concerts. Handler’s “worst comment” implied that “Serbia and its people are a shame and disappointment.” “For the sake of trying to seem comical, these ‘comedians’ have viciously attacked Serbia and its people,” the post continued. “Their attempt at comedy has horrendously failed, and instead turned into outright hate speech!” The page, liked by more than 27,000 people, also urges a boycott of NBC Universal and the show’s sponsors, such as Panasonic and Dr. Pepper. A petition on the site change.org, which encourages people to fight for social causes, had more than 12,000 signatures as of press time. Filip Filipi, who organized the Facebook page, told The Hollywood Reporter he was “in talks” with Handler’s team about issuing an official apology.

I didn’t see the episode, but “hate speech” is probably a bit much, because “hate” implies that you care. Before Amy Winehouse’s trainwreck video surfaced, I doubt Chelsea Handler knew Serbia existed. In any case, I’m not Serbian, but I’m willing to boycott Chelsea Handler by continuing to not watch her show. Not because I was offended, but because she’s, you know, never ever funny.

Serbians are so sensitive. The NY Daily News reports: Chelsea Handler is the latest comedian being asked to apologize for an off-color routine. On Monday’s episode of her E! late-night…

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Kelly Brook Seems Perfectly FineBy toddJune 24, 2011

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Last month, Kelly Brook had a miscarriage, and I got a lot of comments saying she would suffer her whole life by sinking into a deep depression in which she would never be able to recover. So, either she’s filming a commercial for depression medication or she’s completely moved on and smiling because her dead baby made her giant tits even more gianter just in time for beach season. I realize you probably feel guilty right now by still being hard after you just read “dead baby”, but at least you are this guy. He can barely even believe it!

Last month, Kelly Brook had a miscarriage, and I got a lot of comments saying she would suffer her whole life by sinking into a deep depression in which she…

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Damn You, Avril LavigneBy toddJune 24, 2011

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Studies have shown that there is nothing more annoying than Avril Lavigne, but when she’s St. Tropez on a yacht with her ass in the air and you don’t have to hear her talk or see her jagged teeth, other studies show that she becomes considerably less annoying. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I would have sex with her. I hope that was clear.

Studies have shown that there is nothing more annoying than Avril Lavigne, but when she’s St. Tropez on a yacht with her ass in the air and you don’t have…

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