Ooh La LaBy toddJuly 05, 2011

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Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore‘s Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I’m not going to tell you how long it took for me to edit these pics between rocking back and forth in the corner and pouring hydrogen peroxide in my eyes, but I would rather cut my own dick off and feed give it to a dog than get my dick anywhere near whatever the hell this is. And if the dog picked up my dick and looked like he might walk in her direction, I’d shoot the dog in the head and kick it then run away really fast.

Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore‘s Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I’m not going to tell you how…

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Adrianne Curry Is Really ShyBy toddJuly 05, 2011

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Still an emotional wreck and distraught since her break up with Christopher Knight, Adrianne Curry got on Twitter and posted pics showing her vulnerable side and her ability to be stron…wait, I meant she showed her tits and ass. Oh my God, I know! I almost couldn’t believe it either! I can’t wait to see what she posts next! Who knows what it’ll be!

Still an emotional wreck and distraught since her break up with Christopher Knight, Adrianne Curry got on Twitter and posted pics showing her vulnerable side and her ability to be…

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Aaron Carter Didn’t Do Coke With Michael JacksonBy jessJuly 02, 2011

Good to know. TMZ reports:

Aaron Carter’s rep claims the singer NEVER told an entertainment reporter Michael Jackson gave him cocaine and alcohol when he was 15 years old … and says the reporter COMPLETELY FABRICATED the story. The controversy stems from an article that ran in OK! Magazine in Australia, written by international journalist Daphne Barak. In the article, Carter was quoted as saying, “Yes, [MJ] gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15. As for drugs? He gave me cocaine.” But Carter’s rep tells TMZ, “Nothing was said that was reported” … and directed us toward a YouTube video of the interview with Barak … which seems to back up Aaron’s side of the story.

Of course Michael Jackson didn’t give Aaron Carter (more…)

Good to know. TMZ reports: Aaron Carter’s rep claims the singer NEVER told an entertainment reporter Michael Jackson gave him cocaine and alcohol when he was 15 years old ……

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KONG TAKE DIETS PILLS THEY NOT WORK RED DRESS!!!By toddJuly 01, 2011

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Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports:

But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her Spanx underwear yesterday. The reality star wore the flesh-coloured slip beneath a bright red dress, but the frock’s asymmetrical hemline rode up at one point, putting the unattractive undergarment on display.

In her defense, I guess it would be hard trying to look like a female when you look like you’re only walking the earth because scientists extracted DNA from insects preserved in prehistoric amber. I bet she has to burn herself with a car cigarette lighter or stab herself with her keys to suppress her natural instincts when she sees anything containing bamboo. Mmmm, bamboo. Khloe want taste. Why you no let Khloe taste?

Does Khloe Kardashian wear Spanx? Of course she does. Don’t be silly. Daily Mail reports: But Khloe Kardashian accidentally let the cat out of the bag when she revealed her…

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Lego BritneyBy toddMay 05, 2010

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I could write this site for a thousand years and still not have as much money as Britney Spears, so if someone could explain why she can’t seem to get her ant farm weave right, I would appreciate it. Her hair looks like something Darth Vader would wear if he tried to buy Funyuns and a case of Milwaukee’s Best with an endorsed child support check.

I could write this site for a thousand years and still not have as much money as Britney Spears, so if someone could explain why she can’t seem to get…

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Ooh La LaBy toddMay 03, 2010

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I have been proud of a lot of things in my life, one of those being the fact that I have never seen one single episode of The Jersey Shore. The other being my G.I. Joe collection, but more to the point, would anybody seriously fuck this Snooki chick if it wasn’t for some type hostage negotiation? Even if it was, I’d let them use my anytime minutes to say goodbye to their families, because the only way I could get hard looking at this is if she had snakes for hair. Christ, this skank is gross. She looks like something Brad and Angelina would bring back from Oz.

I have been proud of a lot of things in my life, one of those being the fact that I have never seen one single episode of The Jersey Shore….

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Adrianne Curry Demands A RecountBy toddMay 03, 2010

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Diora Baird is the clear Twitter winner, but Adrianne Curry thinks posing in her underwear while she’s playing some kind of online game will help. It doesn’t. Look, I’m glad your Warlock reached Level 42 with a Hell Coil spell or whatever, but it’s gonna be hard for me to cum in your eye if you’re talking Quidditch strategy while you’re blowing me.

Diora Baird is the clear Twitter winner, but Adrianne Curry thinks posing in her underwear while she’s playing some kind of online game will help. It doesn’t. Look, I’m glad…

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