We should really check Julianne Hough's birth certificate now, because what kind of American goes to the gym everyday? Is there a Sonic inside? I don't get it. Not that it matters because whenever she leaves the gym now she's surrounded by paparazzi who have been given a single mandate: DAT ASS. I bet if you licked it you'd be able to tell the future or pick up Thor's hammer.
If you heard that loud noise yesterday, don't panic. It was just the sound of millions of vaginas screaming out then falling silent because Wentworth Miller announced he was gay. And in fabuous gay fashion, he came out in the most dramatic way possible by saying "GURL BYE" to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival because they hate gays in Russia more than Fox News hates poor people. GLAAD has the letter:
August 21, 2013
Re: St. Petersburg International Film Festival / "Guest of Honor" Invitation
Dear Ms. Averbakh:
Thank you for your kind invitation. As someone who has enjoyed visiting Russia in the past and can also claim a degree of Russian ancestry, it would make me happy to say yes.
However, as a gay man, I must decline.
I am deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government. The situation is in no way acceptable, and I cannot in good conscience participate in a celebratory occasion hosted by a country where people like myself are being systematically denied their basic right to live and love openly.
Perhaps, when and if circumstances improve, I'll be free to make a different choice.
I mean, we kinda already knew this, right? We've all seen the dude. He's prettier than my last girlfriend. And she was pretty hot. Hopefully by the time my penis is too tired to care if I see a hot chick or not people coming out as gay won't be such a big deal so we can leave the ridicule for people who come out as vegan or post shit about CrossFit. Anyway, I really have nothing to say about this dude except that his creepy ass script for Stoker convinced Park Chan-wook to do his first English language film, so I wish him nothing but happiness in his gayness. According to my mom, "You know his boyfriend is happy. Damn."
Hey, Here's Anna Kendrick's Boobs [Fishwrapper]
Chloe Sims Wet See Through Top (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Hey, Isn’t That The Hotel Owner Lindsay Lohan Blows To Get Into Parties? Why, Yes, It Is [The Superficial]
Anne Hathaway Goes On A Bootylicious Hike [Popoholic]
Rosie Jones In Super Sexy Daisy Dukes [Hollywood Tuna]
The Classiest Wedding You've Ever Seen [Dlisted]
Jennifer Aniston in her bikini (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Charlie Hunnam is now the latest to play Christian Grey [Lainey Gossip]
Brad Pitt was almost a Scientologist, he ‘was targeted for his influence’ [Celebitchy]
Gisele Bundchen Hits The Gym [Moe Jackson]
Squirrels has a creepy poster [Film Drunk]
Lindsay Lohan is actually acting professionally . . . for now [Celebslam]
Hayden Panettiere Likes to Lick Things [COED Magazine]
Police are Looking Into Lisa Robin Kelly’s Death [The Blemish]
Brandy Sings For 40 People In 90,000 Person Stadium [Evil Beet Gossip]
Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer Will Not Be Released Online [Crave Online]
Lindsay Lohan launches LindsayLohan.com [Popbytes]
Get Revenge [MyEx]
"Have you seen Orange Is The New Black? Dumb question, probably not. But let's try that." – Bradley Manning's lawyers
Depending on who you ask, Bradley Manning is either an insidious traitor or a true patriot and hero who, at worst, proved honesty isn't always the best policy. But those people are talking about someone who doesn't exist, because his real name is Chelsea now. Yes, this just happned. He, wait, she said in an exclusive statement to Today:
Subject: The Next Stage of My Life
I want to thank everybody who has supported me over the last three years. Throughout this long ordeal, your letters of support and encouragement have helped keep me strong. I am forever indebted to those who wrote to me, made a donation to my defense fund, or came to watch a portion of the trial. I would especially like to thank Courage to Resist and the Bradley Manning Support Network for their tireless efforts in raising awareness for my case and providing for my legal representation. As I transition into this next phase of my life, I want everyone to know the real me. I am Chelsea Manning. I am a female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition. I also request that, starting today, you refer to me by my new name and use the feminine pronoun (except in official mail to the confinement facility). I look forward to receiving letters from supporters and having the opportunity to write back.
Chelsea E. Manning
I mean, he just got sentenced to 35 years, so I guess he's being pragmatic by preemptively becoming a woman. It's hard to say if this is a ploy so he can get sent to a women's prison so he can run the salon, but if he truly is a woman like he says he is, why would he want all that competition from all those basic bitches? You know they be spreading lies about you, gurlfran.
Seen here looking like something a Saudi prince would win at a card game then give to his chauffeur, here's Farrah Abraham with her new, painful looking implants in Vegas for the Gentleman's Club Expo Kick Off Party. Whatever the hell that is. Quality choice. Because when I think "gentleman", I think single mom who does ATM on camera so she can get bigger appearance fees.
When Ted Cruz becomes Prime Minister of Canada after he explains why his dad was a Communist, I think his first official act should be to ban Avril Lavigne and Nickelback to a prison island where they can be hunted for sport. And Avril should get more of a headstart when the cyborg werewolves are released because she managed to get Danica McKellar to dress slutty and pretend to be a lesbian in Avril's video for "Rock and Roll". Even though she knows nothing about rock and roll, Avril does know how to get me to watch one of her videos. Please have leniency, PM Cruz.