Martha Stewart Wants Gwyneth Paltrow To Shut The Hell UpBy toddSeptember 15, 2014
Martha Stewart Wants Gwyneth Paltrow To Shut The Hell Up

 

Long story short, Martha Stewart has no time for Gwyneth Paltrow’s bullshit.

“She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart,the domestic doyenne snipped to Net-a-Porter’s Porter magazine. And, after Blake Lively started her own lifestyle site, Preserve, Stewart admits the “Gossip Girl” star had come to her for advice — but sidesteps making a judgment and leaves it to her senior vice president, Kevin Sharkey, who says of Lively: “I don’t get the sense she’s credible. She’s enthusiastic, but she’s not credible.”

Damn, Martha. Why you gotta go so hard? Gwyneth Paltrow might try to retaliate by summoning a Jew Koballah beast, but please remember that Martha is a convicted felon who kept the prison dykes from making her vagina a place setting by helping them make simple, yet elegant shanks and cigarettes made out of crepe paper or felt or whatever. Gwyneth better sit this one out.

  Long story short, Martha Stewart has no time for Gwyneth Paltrow’s bullshit. “She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting,…

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Miranda Kerr Is SingleBy toddOctober 25, 2013

So, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been separated for two months. Maybe I should text her. Tell us more, Orlando Bloom's publicist:

“After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation. Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family.”

Is Orlando Bloom gay? I don't want to start any type of unfounded rumor here, but if you wake up on day and say, "You know what? I don'y want to stick my penis is Miranda Kerr anymore," it gives me pause. If I can be completely honest right now, I'm totally paused. I'm paused. Miranda Kerr could shoot a homeless person in front of me, and I'd be more upset that we might miss our dinner reservation. I made it weeks ago!

So, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been separated for two months. Maybe I should text her. Tell us more, Orlando Bloom's publicist: “After six years together, they have recently…
India Reynolds Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddOctober 25, 2013
India Reynolds Says Good Morning, Links

 

James Taylor Mixed Up His Songs About America [Dlisted

Brandi Glanville is a Hero for Dealing With This Crap [Fishwrapper]

Salma Hayek Wind Blown Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Bruce Jenner Wasn’t Invited To Kim & Kanye’s Engagement [The Superficial]

Abigail Clancy’s Booty In Leggings Is Amazing! [Hollywood Tuna]

Natalie Portman Gets Stunningly Sexy For The Paris Premiere Of Thor: The Dark World [Popoholic]

Rihanna is in a bikini again (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

We now know why Madonna broke up with her 26-year-old ex-boyfriend Jesus Luz [TMZ]

Mark Wahlberg will take care of it [Lainey Gossip]

Prince Charles covers Time as ‘The Forgotten Prince’, calls Camilla ‘wonderful’ [Celebitchy]

Newly Single Ladies Matchup: Minka Kelly vs Katharine McPhee [Moe Jackson]

JJ Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan will be taking over writing duties for Star War Episode 7 [Film Drunk]

Someone is actually dating Farrah Abraham [Celebslam]

Playmate Halloween at the Playboy Mansion [COED Magazine]

Lady Gaga Is Wearing… I Don’t Even Know [The Blemish]

Can Tom Hardy Convincingly Portray Elton John? [Evil Beet Gossip]

Chris Hemsworth Discusses the End of the World in Thor 3 [Crave Online]

Jason Momoa is a sexy slapper [Popbytes]

Prince George’s Official Christening Portraits Released By Palace [Hollywood Life]

  James Taylor Mixed Up His Songs About America [Dlisted]  Brandi Glanville is a Hero for Dealing With This Crap [Fishwrapper] Salma Hayek Wind Blown Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver…
A Moment With Kelly BrookBy toddOctober 24, 2013
A Moment With Kelly Brook

 

Did you see that one that one on the news? And did you read about that other thing?! Man, the world is crazy. So here's Kelly Brook and her gigantic rack sitting on a couch to help you through all that. I am only on man, but I do what I can.

 

pic source = Instagram

  Did you see that one that one on the news? And did you read about that other thing?! Man, the world is crazy. So here's Kelly Brook and her…

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Lindsay Lohan Got Drunk At A Bar, Started A Fight, Refused To LeaveBy toddOctober 24, 2013
Lindsay Lohan Got Drunk At A Bar, Started A Fight, Refused To Leave

 

Hey, remember when Lindsay Lohan went on Oprah and said she was completely sober and is surrounding herself with positive people? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA New York Daily News reports:

Last Monday, LiLo hit Sing Sing Karaoke bar with a gaggle of girlfriends on Avenue A in the East Village, where she proceeded to start a verbal fight and refused to leave at closing, planting herself at the bar until almost 6 a.m., multiple sources tell Confidenti@l. Hanging with a male model type with a blond bob and a handful of gal pals, including one named Rush, the group (not LiLo herself) ordered a bottle of Jameson that they quickly polished off. Lohan was overheard saying she hadn’t had a drink. “Lindsay was chain-smoking,” our tipster says. “She walked in sober and she left looking tired.” The night took a turn for the worse when a customer overheard LiLo get into a “disturbance” with a staffer, as she begged to keep the bar open past closing and was acting “insanely belligerent.”  When asked to leave, Lohan called the cops, claiming staffers had locked her in the private karaoke room. The NYPD showed up, but no one bothered to file a report. When Lohan and the group finally left, staffers found their private karaoke room littered with trash and empty bottles. Lohan, scared that news of her late-night antics would leak, had two pals return the next day to smooth things over with Sing Sing staff. One employee confirmed that Lohan, now living in SoHo, has become a regular at the joint.

This article pretty much goes out of its way to say Lindsay isn't drinking, but what is she reaching for here? A script? Cory Monteith is getting more scripts than Lindsay Lohan.

 

pic source = Instagram
  Hey, remember when Lindsay Lohan went on Oprah and said she was completely sober and is surrounding herself with positive people? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA New York Daily News reports: Last Monday,…

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Jamie Dornan Is Your New Christian Grey I GuessBy toddOctober 24, 2013

Since Charlie Hunnam pulled out before the script said he had to, Jamie Dornan has now been cast as Christian Grey in the film version of housewife porn, Fifty Shades of Grey. Dornan used to have sex with Keira Knightley in rea life, and now he has to pretend he enjoys having sex with Dakota Johnson. So he must be a really good actor. Variety reports:

Northern Irish actor Jamie Dornan has been tapped to replace Charlie Hunnam as Christian Grey in the Universal and Focus adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Dornan plays Sheriff Graham Humbert in ABC series “Once Upon a Time”; he’s also played a serial killer in BBC Two crime drama “The Fall,” and he appeared in Sofia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette.” The 31-year-old thesp performs in an Irish folk duo and has modeled for Calvin Klein, Christian Dior and Armani. His modeling experience may be useful, as the part will require him to act in explicitly sexual scenes. Dakota Johnson will co-star as Anastasia Steele, with Sam Taylor-Johnson on board to direct.

Based on the pattern here, when Jamie Dornan decides not to do the movie, the next actor's first name will end in "ie" and his last name will end in "nao". Search IMDB at your earliest convenience. Might be Vietnamese.

Since Charlie Hunnam pulled out before the script said he had to, Jamie Dornan has now been cast as Christian Grey in the film version of housewife porn, Fifty Shades…
‘Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues’ Has A TrailerBy toddOctober 24, 2013

 

If you haven't quoted a line from Anchorman at least once in you're life, you're either North Korean or you're an alien cyborg stranded on Earth who doesn't understand happiness. So if you're an alien cyborg stranded on Earth, here's the trailer for Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues. Watch it. Study it. People are starting to notice you're kinda weird, man.

  If you haven't quoted a line from Anchorman at least once in you're life, you're either North Korean or you're an alien cyborg stranded on Earth who doesn't understand…
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Miley Cyrus Is A MurdererBy toddNovember 22, 2009

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Miley Cyrus’ tour was scheduled to stop in Greensboro, NC tonight, and apparently NC heard about this so it caused her bus to crash, killing the driver and injuring nine others. National Enquirer reports:

Virginia State Police confirm one person was killed when a tour bus belonging to Miley Cyrus overturned. The 16-year-old Hannah Montana star was not on board. Sgt. Thomas Molnar says the bus overturned around 8:15 a.m. Friday on Interstate 85 in Dinwiddie, about 40 miles south of Richmond. The bus driver was killed and nine others were injured. Miley was in the fourth bus in the caravan . Members of her lighting crew are believed to have been on the deadly bus. The pop princess was scheduled to perform Sunday in Greensboro, NC according to Miley’s web site.

I really hope the Cyrus family loads a PODS full of gold and precious jewels to deliver to this guy’s family, because I can imagine an obituary that reads “tour bus driver for Miley Cyrus” isn’t it’s own reward.

Reporter Wayne Convil is being told:

NOTE: Hi everyone, I appreciate the emails and comments, but I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this or not, but this site is intended to be sarcastic. This includes the headlines. I’m not sure why I have to even point that fact out, but if I believed half the crap I wrote on here I clearly would be insane, so when you visit this site, take it for what it is. Some idiot who can’t spell writing about celebrities. And sometimes about your mom. If you see her on Thanksgiving, do me a favor and let her know that me having an unlimited data plan doesn’t mean she can send me picture texts every time she ruins a pair of panties. It was cute the first few times, but I have to be honest, it’s getting a little annoying. Have you considered buying her a puppy?

Miley Cyrus’ tour was scheduled to stop in Greensboro, NC tonight, and apparently NC heard about this so it caused her bus to crash, killing the driver and injuring nine…

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Miranda Kerr Is BackstageBy toddNovember 21, 2009

[Gallery not found]

I have no idea why I’m not gay, because if I was I could be chillin on the couch while Miranda Kerr prances around in her bra and panties and throws her legs on me backstage at the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I could probably get away with it for a while, but it might get a little awkward when I turn into Multiple Miggs at some point.

I have no idea why I’m not gay, because if I was I could be chillin on the couch while Miranda Kerr prances around in her bra and panties and…

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Oh Boo HooBy toddNovember 20, 2009

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Director Roman Polanski is still sitting in a Switzerland jail awaiting extradition to the United States for drugging and sodomizing a 13-year old girl in 1977. But apparently his wife and two kids are “very upset psychologically” about being separated from such a wonderful man. MSNBC reports:

Polanski has proposed “very significant” bail money, house arrest and other assurances to find freedom, Herve Temime told the daily Le Figaro. His 76-year-old client “will not accept extradition to the United States,” he said. U.S. authorities want Polanski to face justice in Los Angeles for having sex with a 13-year-old 32 years ago. A Swiss court official said this week that a bail decision was expected in 2 to 3 weeks. Polanski, who was arrested Sept. 26 as he arrived in Zurich to collect a film award, is “very courageous” and “I have never heard him complain,” Temime said. However, his wife, Emmanuelle Seigner, an actress and singer, and his two children are “very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak” for them, he said.

I’m going to go out a limb her and say that being drugged and raped in the ass then having to sit on a donut pillow at the premiere of Star Wars might make you “very upset psychologically” a little more than daddy not being home because he’s captured fugitive. If Polanski was a man and accepted the fact that he was convicted and served his time, his wife and kids wouldn’t be suffering right now. Instead he chose to run like a little girl being chased by a bee to France. Since he was convicted, there is no statute of limitations, and more importantly, I have zero sympathy for this man. If the definition of “extradition back to the United States” suddenly changed to “being ripped apart by a fisherman with a hook for a hand”, I would see if my buddy Joe could get me a discount on that dictionary at Barnes & Noble.

Since #2 doesn’t realize the why the real victim “doesn’t care” and why we should spend tax dollars on something that happened “30 years ago”, I’ll just post this video again. Hope it clears it up for you.

Director Roman Polanski is still sitting in a Switzerland jail awaiting extradition to the United States for drugging and sodomizing a 13-year old girl in 1977. But apparently his wife…

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