Gloria Allred Is Now Involved In Weinergate. You Don’t Say.By toddJune 15, 2011

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Like a lion in a pantsuit jumping on a gazelle, Gloria Allred never misses an opportunity to give attention whores a voice to tell their side of the story once they realize there’s money to be made. So, as expected, former porn star Ginger Lee has hired Allred to…uhhh…I’m not sure what exactly. TMZ reports:

As if he didn’t have enough on his hands, Congressman Anthony Weinier is about to get Allreded … because Gloria is holding a news conference today with former porn star Ginger Lee, and they’ll talk about that email TMZ told you about in which Weiner told Lee how to lie about their relationship. Yes, Ginger, now a “feature dancer,” will break her silence on the steamy tweets the Congressman sent her, as well as the email he sent after the scandal broke, which reads in part, “The key is to have a short, thought out statement that tackles the top line questions and then refer back to it … Like so many others, I follow Rep Weiner on Twitter …” Ginger will discuss how her “relationship” with Weiner began, what he asked of her and whether she still supports him. The news conference goes down at 12:30 PM ET at the Friar’s Club in NYC.

Some might say that holding a press conference and talking about her secret online relationship with a married Congressman might be difficult and embarrassing for Ginger Lee, but please keep in mind, she’s drank cum out of a chick’s asshole on camera before.

Like a lion in a pantsuit jumping on a gazelle, Gloria Allred never misses an opportunity to give attention whores a voice to tell their side of the story once…

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Natalie Portman Had A Boy. This Is The Father.By toddJune 15, 2011

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Wait, I thought this kid’s twin sister was supposed to be the Princess? The Gay Force will be strong with this one. People reports:

It’s been a big year for Natalie Portman: an engagement, an Oscar and now a baby! The actress and fiancé Benjamin Millepied have welcomed a son, PEOPLE has exclusively learned.

When your mom looks like Amon Goeth’s vegan housekeeper and your dad is a prancing lad whose idea of badass is doing an interpretive dance to Mahler, there’s really only once direction I see this kid going. And that’s down Sunset in cutoff jean shorts and mascara.

Wait, I thought this kid’s twin sister was supposed to be the Princess? The Gay Force will be strong with this one. People reports: It’s been a big year for…

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Cosmo Doesn’t Say She’s Fat. I Ain’t Down With ThatBy toddJune 14, 2011

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This is supposedly Kim Kardashian leaving the gym yesterday, but is “Gym” a new taco stand in L.A. that I don’t know about? Because, well, goddamn. This looks like something that’s about to get killed on Shark Week. I know I might lose a lot of black followers for this, but my anaconda don’t want none if looks like a Great White would eat it, son.

This is supposedly Kim Kardashian leaving the gym yesterday, but is “Gym” a new taco stand in L.A. that I don’t know about? Because, well, goddamn. This looks like something…

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Jennifer Aniston Is A HomewreckerBy toddJune 14, 2011

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Jennifer Aniston was only ever considered A-list because Brad Pitt stuck his penis inside her, and she has held on to that reputation because bitter women everywhere see her as the victim of an evil succubus who broke into her house and stole her husband. Since then, it’s been a parade of failed relationships after another. Until she started dating actor/writer Justin Theroux in May. You know, the Justin Theroux whose girlfriend of 14 years just moved out last weekend. New York Post reports:

Despite calling Angelina Jolie “uncool” for moving in on her ex-husband, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston’s romance with Justin Theroux has ended his 14-year relationship with his live-in girlfriend Heidi Bivens — who moved out of their home last weekend, Page Six has exclusively learned. Sources tell us Hollywood costume designer Bivens “is devastated” after Theroux abruptly ended their relationship as he got close to Aniston. Aniston, 42, and Theroux, 39, met last fall on the set of “Wanderlust,” due in October, but in recent weeks they have become inseparable. A source told us, “Heidi is heartbroken. She was completely blindsided. She and Justin had been together for years, they had a home. Then he met Jennifer and everything changed. At first he claimed he and Jen were friends.” A rep for Bivens confirmed to Page Six: “Heidi and Justin have been together for 14 years. They met when she was 20 years old and he 24, and yes, she just moved out of their home last weekend. She has no comment.” When Aniston and Theroux were first spotted dining together in May, her rep insisted they were friends. But it was reported at the time that Theroux is “edgier than the guys Jen usually dates . . . she really likes him.” In recent weeks, the pair have repeatedly been seen dining out and reportedly spending weekends together, with Hollywood sources telling us that “things are moving fast. They are practically living together.” Despite Heidi’s heartbreak, a friend of Theroux claimed, “Things were already over between him and Heidi before he got close to Jen.” Jennifer and Pitt announced their split in January 2005. She told Vogue in 2008 about Jolie — who described how her feelings for Pitt developed on the set of 2005’s “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” — saying, “I was unaware that it was happening. I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss.”

Man, I wonder what Chelsea Handler will have to say about this? I bet she’ll say something unfunny then stare directly into the camera. Then if we’re lucky, she’ll point to Chuy. Because midgets are really funny, you guys.

Jennifer Aniston was only ever considered A-list because Brad Pitt stuck his penis inside her, and she has held on to that reputation because bitter women everywhere see her as…

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Mark Cuban Would Like To Have A WordBy toddJune 13, 2011

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“At the end of the day, all the people that’s rooting on me to fail, they gotta wake up to the same life they had before they woke up today. They got the same personal problems they had, today. And I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live, and continue to do the things I want to do for me and my family and be happy with that.” – LeBron James during his post-game interview last night

Stay classy, LeBron.

“At the end of the day, all the people that’s rooting on me to fail, they gotta wake up to the same life they had before they woke up today….

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Taylor Momsen Is See Through NowBy toddJune 13, 2011

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Now that you’ve seen her tits, what’s a Taylor Momsen concert without her sticking her ass in the air? Based on what I hear on the news, a lot of white girls go missing each year only to be found in a shallow grave with semen in their hollowed out eye sockets and a snapped off broom handle in their anus. I can’t imagine that these pictures will slow that trend.

Now that you’ve seen her tits, what’s a Taylor Momsen concert without her sticking her ass in the air? Based on what I hear on the news, a lot of…

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Chelsea Handler Still Hates Angelina JolieBy toddMay 12, 2011

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Two old, unfunny busted whores shared the screen last night when Chelsea Handler was a guest on The Joy Behar Show (you can watch the clip here), where Handler says she will never apologize for calling Jolie a “homewrecker” and going onstage in New Jersey and calling her a “fucking cunt”.

I’ll never apologize for calling Angelina a homewrecker. It shouldn’t have gotten a lot of press because I’ve been making fun of Angelina Jolie since she made-out with her brother. I would never speak for anyone else – or any of my friends – I’m speaking from my heart and soul when I call someone a homewrecker.

As you read that quote, please keep in mind that Handler’s “friend” is, of course, Jennifer Aniston. So, there’s really no bias here, just a woman speaking her mind about the time Angelina Jolie broke into Aniston’s house and stole her husband at gunpoint then took him to her secret underground lair where she implanted a microchip in his brain to fall in love with her and have children with her and adopt more children and move to France. Oh, it didn’t happen like that? Oh, so then basically Chelsea Handler is a bitter cunt whose vagina got passed around like a collection plate to get her show and at the height of her fame she had to settle for blowing 50 Cent? Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I mean, you read things and sometimes it’s hard to understand what the person is actually saying.

Angelina Jolie promoting her new film at Cannes Film Festival yesterday while Chelsea Handler was promoting her book on a show on Headline News:

Two old, unfunny busted whores shared the screen last night when Chelsea Handler was a guest on The Joy Behar Show (you can watch the clip here), where Handler says…

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Lindsay Lohan: “Glad to Be Able to Put This Past Me. You Know, So I Can Drink Again.”By toddMay 12, 2011



I actually got emails yesterday asking me why I didn’t cover Lindsay Lohan‘s “sentencing”, but really, what’s the point? She’s been breaking the law without remorse or punishment for over four years now. But to make sure we’re all on the same page here, Lindsay’s 120 jail sentence got reduced to 14-days house arrest. Apparently because her house is overcrowded. And Lindsay is still a narcissistic, delusional drug addict with no concept of reality who will continue to do whatever the fuck she wants to do when she wants to do it without fear of ever having to be held accountable. E! Online reports:

“I am glad to be able to put this past me and move on with my life and my career. I support the judge’s decision and hold myself accountable for being in this situation,” Lohan says…”I have already started my community service at the Downtown Women’s Center and thank everyone there for their warm welcome,” she adds. “I hope to be able to fulfill my obligation without any press attention. I think the media spotlight should be on issues such as homelessness and domestic violence instead of on me.

In the media’s defense, it’s hard to focus on homelessness and domestic violence when you call the paparazzi ahead of time to let them know exactly where you’ll be at all times then throw in the fact that you won’t be wearing a bra. But more to the point, Lindsay’s probation report was released. Guess what she was doing at The Betty Ford Clinic the whole time? If you said, “drinking anything she could get her hands on”, congratulations! You’re the big winner! People magazine reports:

Lindsay Lohan drank alcohol the night she scuffled with a Betty Ford employee and failed a random alcohol test after she left rehab, according to a probation report. The probation report says Lohan indeed drank alcohol after sneaking out from the Betty Ford Center in December, citing local police interviews with restaurant and nightclub employees. Charges that she battered a rehab employee that night were dropped for lack of evidence. And Lohan, 24, tested positive for alcohol in February, one week after her assistant surrendered the allegedly stolen necklace to the LAPD. “The probation officer believes that substance abuse is the root of the defendant’s problems,” the report says, although L.A. Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner disagreed with that assessment on Wednesday.

She steals from businesses, photoshoots, her friends, she gets drunk and chases people, she gets caught with coke, and she lies straight to the judge’s face. And nothing. Any time a judge tries to help her by sending her to rehab, she just shits in her hand and throws it at everyone involved then leaves early to go drink. Nothing will ever happen to Lindsay. Nothing. Ever. And when she’s finally found in a ditch with a syringe in her arm and a broken bottle up her ass and semen in her hair, people will say it’s a tragedy. And it will be. A tragedy for my pageviews.

I actually got emails yesterday asking me why I didn’t cover Lindsay Lohan‘s “sentencing”, but really, what’s the point? She’s been breaking the law without remorse or punishment for over…

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Jessica Lowndes Attends SomethingBy toddMay 12, 2011

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I don’t know what the National Movie Awards are in London are, but now you do because Jessica Lowndes wore this dress. Man, how exciting! Stay tuned to IDLYITW for breaking news as it happens!

I don’t know what the National Movie Awards are in London are, but now you do because Jessica Lowndes wore this dress. Man, how exciting! Stay tuned to IDLYITW for…

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Adele’s Ex-Boyfriend Wants RoyaltiesBy toddMay 11, 2011

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Swag. NME reports:

Adele’s ex-boyfriend is supposedly cheekily claiming for a slice of the profits she made on debut album ‘19’ – because he feels their doomed relationship was the inspiration for a number of the LP’s lovelorn tracks. The singer should be happy after her latest album, ‘21’, clocked up its 14th week at the summit of the UK charts last week. ‘19’ – which was released in 2008 – is currently occupying the Number Three slot. But according to the tabs today (May 10) she’s furious that her former partner is trying to claim the credit for her initial success – as well as a cut of the royalties. She is quoted in The Sun as saying: “For about a week he was calling and was deadly serious about it. Finally, I said ‘Well, you made my life hell, so I lived it and now I deserve it’.” She added: “He really thought he’d had some input into the creative process by being a prick. I’ll give him the credit – he made me an adult, and put me on the road that I’m travelling.”

Adele appeals to overweight women and bitter women who have been fucked over by a man, so if my math is right, every woman in the world loves Adele. If you count gay dudes, then she’s Alexander The Great, conquering the world by singing songs that go great with tears and ice cream about a guy who she says will never forget her although he dumped her already. I mean, she already said the dude could have had it all, so now he just wants a little bit. Why she gotta be so greedy? Damn. Make up your mind woman!

Swag. NME reports: Adele’s ex-boyfriend is supposedly cheekily claiming for a slice of the profits she made on debut album ‘19’ – because he feels their doomed relationship was the…

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