Kelly Brook and Weekend LinksBy toddJuly 24, 2010

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Michael Lohan sold nude pics of the chick he beat up [The Superficial]
Vanessa Hudgens sucker punches your penis [Popoholic]
Amy Winehouse upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie]
This picture of Paris Hilton is missing something [Dlisted]
The mad hot women of Mad Men [COED Magazine]
Paris Hilton is topless again [Celebslam]
Casey Affleck sued for sexual harassment [Popeater]
The Mel Gibson of Russian television [Cityrag]
Catherine Zeta-Jones fucked up her face [Cele|bitchy]
Daniela Freitas’ Brazilian hotness [Heyman Hustle]

Kelly Brook at Comic Con:

Michael Lohan sold nude pics of the chick he beat up [The Superficial] Vanessa Hudgens sucker punches your penis [Popoholic] Amy Winehouse upskirt [TaxiDriver Movie] This picture of Paris Hilton…

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Hold Still, PleaseBy toddJuly 23, 2010

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Oh, screw you. Selena Gomez is 18 now. Also, she was on Jimmy Fallon last night. And she still looks 13. I don’t know whether go down on her or buy her an ice cream cone. She looks likes she should be knocking on my door trying to sell boxes of Somoas. And I would buy them. I would also, how could put this delicately as possibly, cum inside her. Whew! I thought I would say something totally inappropriate and weird there!

Oh, screw you. Selena Gomez is 18 now. Also, she was on Jimmy Fallon last night. And she still looks 13. I don’t know whether go down on her or…

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Let’s Hope Somebody Will Buy ItBy toddJuly 23, 2010

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While Angelina Jolie walks the red carpet to promote yet another big-budget movie, Jennifer Aniston and her zombie Civil War soldier hands were in London yesterday unveiling her new perfume called Lolavie. Not sure if a perfume that sounds like a home perm you can buy at Walgreen’s is sure to fly off the shelves, so it might not be the best idea to tell people it was created by Jennifer Aniston. She can’t even attract bees much less a man, so what is her perfume gonna do? At best, the police can use it when they run of out of pepper spray.

Le

While Angelina Jolie walks the red carpet to promote yet another big-budget movie, Jennifer Aniston and her zombie Civil War soldier hands were in London yesterday unveiling her new perfume…

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Alessandra Ambrosio Is Very Good At ThisBy toddJuly 23, 2010

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Alessandra Ambrosio is the closest thing to physical perfection you will see on this site our Earth, so of course I’m posting her new VS photoshoot in St. Barts. I hope that doesn’t bother you. If it does, you can go back to brushing your pony’s hair and bedazzling his handmade leg warmers, you big fag.

Alessandra Ambrosio is the closest thing to physical perfection you will see on this site our Earth, so of course I’m posting her new VS photoshoot in St. Barts. I…

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Rapist Angel LinksBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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David Boreanaz is very romantic in the “sexual harrasment” sense [The Superficial]
Ali Larter has pregnant boobs [Popoholic]
Tila Tequila‘s panties are a biohazard [TaxiDriver Movie]
The Situation‘s awkward turtleneck family photo [Dlisted]
10 biggest potheads in baseball [COED Magazine]
Lindsay’s new jail neighbor [Celebslam]
Cameron Diaz launches a preemptive strike against being alone forever [Popeater]
I really need to get Amber Lancaster pregnant [Egotastic]
Duelling Stallones [Cityrag]
Evolution of a Wow player [College Humor]

David Boreanaz is very romantic in the “sexual harrasment” sense [The Superficial] Ali Larter has pregnant boobs [Popoholic] Tila Tequila‘s panties are a biohazard [TaxiDriver Movie] The Situation‘s awkward turtleneck…

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The Lohans Are Great PeopleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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For the second time this week, a member of the Lohan family was arrested and booked for a crime. Awesome! People reports:

Michael, 50, will be arraigned next month for second-degree harassment after his fiancée Kate Major alleged he shoved and kicked her. Michael has denied the allegations.

Hopefully when these two get out they can sell heroin in a school zone or call 911 to report their plutonium was stolen. You know, to fully drive the point home that they may not be the best at making life decisions.

Note: Christ, gossip sucks today. So to help out, here are some pics for you to choose from: Rosie Jones topless or a pink pony. Enjoy!

For the second time this week, a member of the Lohan family was arrested and booked for a crime. Awesome! People reports: Michael, 50, will be arraigned next month for…

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Maybe I Should Get A MotorcycleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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Kelly Brook and her comic book warrior princess body are in the August issue of Maxim, and as you can see, she’s on the back of a motorcycle topless. Whatever. Is the motorcyle supposed to be sexy? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see a basket or a bell on it. Or my grandma pushing it down the street until I’m pedaling on my own. Huh?! Does it?!

Kelly Brook and her comic book warrior princess body are in the August issue of Maxim, and as you can see, she’s on the back of a motorcycle topless. Whatever….

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Lindsay’s Daily Jail ScheduleBy toddJuly 22, 2010

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L.A.’s Century Regional Detention Facility, the one hissing and bursting into flames at the sight of the sun before noon would be Lindsay. Star Magazine reports:

5 a.m.: Lindsay’s in for a rude awakening! Every morning she will be roused from her sleep by a P.A. announcement before guards shout commands like “Line up for chow! Make your bed! Tuck your shirts in!”

6 a.m.: Time to eat! Lindsay will have 20 minutes to scarf down a quick breakfast like bread and butter or cereal with milk.

9:15 a.m.: The star can see her lawyers any day, starting in the morning.

10:30 a.m.: Lunch usually means something simple, like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a piece of fruit.

2:30 p.m.: During free time, if Lindsay wants some exercise or sun, she may get an hour outside — surrounded by cement walls and barbed wire, of course.

5:30 p.m.: Dinner time! No more pricey sushi for the actress. She can now look forward to dishes like spaghetti with meat sauce, followed by something sweet, like Jell-O, for dessert.

6:30 p.m.: She can visit with approved loved ones on Saturdays and Sundays only.

9 p.m.: Lights out!

Does this make anyone else squeal in delight? I haven’t been this happy since my Rainbow Brite backpack came in the mail. It’s both a toy and a backpack! Rainbow Brite’s back zips open to carry your items and features two rainbow straps to wear on your back! Plus, she’s an adorable plush doll!

L.A.’s Century Regional Detention Facility, the one hissing and bursting into flames at the sight of the sun before noon would be Lindsay. Star Magazine reports: 5 a.m.: Lindsay’s in…

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