Miranda Kerr Is A Great MomBy toddJanuary 19, 2011

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On her personal blog (via RadarOnline), Miranda Kerr posted a message to her fans about the birth of her son, Flynn. But most importantly, she posted the banner pic. Fuck that baby.

“On the 6th of January I gave birth to our beautiful little son Flynn. He weighed 9lb 12 ounces (a very healthy and big baby boy). I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him.”

So to recap, Miranda Kerr has a high tolerance for pain and can still smile and pose while someone is latched on to her tits. Good to know. Hey, anybody know where I can buy some chloroform? Why? Oh, it’s for my glaucoma. Why the twenty questions? Is this some kind of interrogation?! You’re smothering me, man!

On her personal blog (via RadarOnline), Miranda Kerr posted a message to her fans about the birth of her son, Flynn. But most importantly, she posted the banner pic. Fuck…

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Christina Hendricks Is Very Appreciative Of ThingsBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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You see Christina Hendricks‘ wrist? Nice, right? It wasn’t for long. Why? Oh, that’s because she lost a 124-carat diamond bracelet worth $850,000 that Chopard let her wear to the Golden Globes. No big deal. NY Post reports:

The voluptuous redhead was horrified to find out that after making it up the carpet Sunday at the Beverly Hilton, one of the two bracelets loaned by Chopard had slipped off. Inside the ballroom moments before the show started, the panicked actress asked us, “Have you seen a diamond bracelet? I’ve lost one that looks like this,” pointing at the one glittering bracelet left on her wrist. As the stars were being urged to take their seats, Hendricks — wearing a figure-hugging red gown — then hurried out of the auditorium back onto the red carpet to look for the bauble. But security blocked her as she tried to leave the auditorium, as no one is allowed in or out once the show starts. She begged, “Please let me out, I have to give my diamond bracelet to my publicist!” The guard watched wide-eyed as Hendricks pulled the bracelet out from her ample cleavage. He opened the door a crack and she passed the jewels through to her publicist outside.

Please. I don’t believe this story at all. Tell me NY Post, how did she pull the bracelet from her cleavage without it getting lost in the four Baconators? Huh? Tell me that? If this story ended with Laura Dern checking her stool before the storm approached I might take you a little more seriously.

You see Christina Hendricks‘ wrist? Nice, right? It wasn’t for long. Why? Oh, that’s because she lost a 124-carat diamond bracelet worth $850,000 that Chopard let her wear to the…

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Dolph Lundgren Is A Fancy LadBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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Even though he could very possibly kick my lungs through my back, Dolph Lundgren left Vila Blanca in Beverly Hills last night dressed like a villain in a John Hughes movie. Did he wear this on a dare? Is he getting picked up in a DeLorean? I don’t get it.

Even though he could very possibly kick my lungs through my back, Dolph Lundgren left Vila Blanca in Beverly Hills last night dressed like a villain in a John Hughes…

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Scarlett Johansson Is Selling MoetBy toddJanuary 18, 2011

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Realizing it would be a good business model to have Scarlett Johansson pose with phallic symbols around her mouth that explode when you shake them, Moet and Chandon have hired Johansson to be the face of their 2011 Moet and Chandon campaign. This news comes hot on the heels of Christina Aguilera being named the face of corndogs. Congrats ladies!

Realizing it would be a good business model to have Scarlett Johansson pose with phallic symbols around her mouth that explode when you shake them, Moet and Chandon have hired…

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Christina Aguilera Looks WonderfulBy toddJanuary 17, 2011

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Christina Aguilera attended the Golden Globes because Burlesque was nominated for something. But I think she attended mostly because she heard they had doughnuts.

Christina Aguilera attended the Golden Globes because Burlesque was nominated for something. But I think she attended mostly because she heard they had doughnuts.

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Joe Mantegna’s Seed Came In SecondBy toddJanuary 17, 2011

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Every year, the Golden Globes has a hot chick on stage who stands perfectly still then shows the people who just won which side to exit on, and they call her Miss Golden Globe. This year, it was Joe Mantegna’s daughter, Gia Mantegna. Please keep in mind that she’s standing between her mother and father in the banner picture. Her mother. And father. I’m not saying her mother got her prenatal vitamins at Hogwarts, but man, Gia sure is pretty isn’t she? How did that happen?

Every year, the Golden Globes has a hot chick on stage who stands perfectly still then shows the people who just won which side to exit on, and they call…
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Hayden Panettiere Is At The BeachBy jessJanuary 16, 2011
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Since her show was canceled and she’s running out of whales to save, Hayden Panettiere has plenty of time to frolic in the waves with Lurch. She looks like a Pee Wee linebacker with daddy issues, but guess what? It’s a slow news day.

Since her show was canceled and she’s running out of whales to save, Hayden Panettiere has plenty of time to frolic in the waves with Lurch. She looks like a…

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Lindsay’s Machete Poster Is ShockingBy toddJuly 14, 2010

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Lindsay’s character poster for Machete came out yesterday, and as you can see, she plays a nun who likes to lick things. OMG, did you see what they did there?! It’s Lindsay Lohan, but she’s playing a nun! A sexy nun! You see, Lindsay Lohan is a whore in real life, but she’s playing a nun! Man, I totally didn’t see that coming!

Lindsay’s character poster for Machete came out yesterday, and as you can see, she plays a nun who likes to lick things. OMG, did you see what they did there?!…

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IDLYITW News: News All AroundBy toddJuly 13, 2010

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There’s a lot of crap going on right now, so instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsensical posts, I thought I’d drop it all into one. What? “A bunch of nonsensical posts”? Yes, I know that’s what the site is already! Why don’t you….well, if you think…oh, just leave me alone!!

IDLYITW T-Shirt Model Contest is now closed: I’d like to thank everyone who disappointed their fathers and sent in pics for the t-shirt contest. We got so many emails that I needed to hire ten Haitian kids to help me pick the winners, but they just ended up beating their computers with sticks and worshiping the light switch. Maybe that was a bad idea. In the end, some of our submissions included emails from an Ivy-league member of a feminist group, a country singer/model, a paramedic, an entire sorority house, a pagan who is involved in the PTA, a pair of twins, a mother/daughter team, a professional dance instructor, a college cheerleader, a horror movie scream queen who is getting her MBA, two chicks who have been in Maxim, my ex-girlfriend, and a porn star. As soon as the final results are tallied, I’ll post the winners. As you can see, the banner is of my unrequited love, Kasey. Seriously, five separate things in this picture make me want to call my mother and a wedding planner.

Sophie Turner agreed to an interview: Through the magic of Facebook and email, I asked Sophie Turner if she would give the site an interview. She agreed. Surprisingly, she’s really cool and actually really funny. But we really don’t care about that, do we?

I’m taking questions: I get emails everyday asking me random questions. Too many times these emails get mixed up with my eHarmony and penis enlargement emails, so to keep them organized (and to let you share in my pain) I started a Formspring (better, jackass?) HERE. So feel free to ask a question, and I promise I will answer. As it says, ask me anything. Questions about your life? Will you get that promotion? Is your sister a dead lay? What’s up with that black guy? Ask me now!

There’s a lot of crap going on right now, so instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsensical posts, I thought I’d drop it all into one. What? “A…

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Olivia Munn Had A Happy HolidayBy toddApril 22, 2010
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Olivia Munn jumped in a tiny bikini in Hawaii to tape Attack Of The Show‘s 420 Special on Tuesday, and to celebrate, I made a list of things better than hot chicks who smoke weed:

1. Unicorns with lasers for eyes

Olivia Munn jumped in a tiny bikini in Hawaii to tape Attack Of The Show‘s 420 Special on Tuesday, and to celebrate, I made a list of things better than…

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