Kris Humphries Was The Second ChoiceBy jessOctober 27, 2011
[Gallery not found]

Further proving their relationship began with a casting call instead of courtship, Radar Online reports that Kris Humphries wasn’t Kim Kardashian’s first choice for a husband.

And now comes a new report that Kris wasn’t Kim’s first choice to be her basketball beau. In fact, according to Wetpaint.com before the brunette beauty met her new husband, Kim was so eager to date a basketball player that E! were calling around teams to matchmake with NBA athletes, RadarOnline.com has learned. Wetpaint claim that E! Television staff contacted the New York Knicks to ask if hunky Italian basketball star Danilo Gallinari (this guy) would be interested in dating Kim. “They asked if he would be interested in dating her and being on a reality show,” a source told the website. According to the insider, both E! and Kim were interested in having her date a big New York athlete for the debut season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, which premiered in January 2011. “Danilo said he would love to meet Kim but was not interested in dating her or being on a reality show,” revealed the insider, who added: “Even though E! explained it would be great for his career, Gallinari turned the offer down.”

I’m inclined to believe that E! was behind this. Neither Kris Humphries nor Danilo Gallinari have enough melanin to get Kim Kardashian’s vagina to work on its own. In fairness to Kim, though, Gallinari’s rejection may have been due to a faulty translator. When he read “water sports” in the contract, he may have thought they were talking about polo.

Further proving their relationship began with a casting call instead of courtship, Radar Online reports that Kris Humphries wasn’t Kim Kardashian’s first choice for a husband. And now comes a…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Lindsay Will Be Completely Naked In PlayboyBy toddOctober 26, 2011

[SinglePic not found]

“750 thousand? That’s seven hundred and fifty THOUSAND, right? Not seven hundred and fifty dollars? So, should I bleach my cervix? How does this work?” – Lindsay Lohan. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan didn’t wuss out for her Playboy shoot — TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread … i.e. the holy trifecta … or as one source close to Playboy put it, “boobs, ass, and vag.” As we previously reported, Lindsay recently locked down a nearly-million-dollar deal with PB for a full pictorial — and yesterday, she finally wrapped her 4-day shoot. Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos — all sideboob, no fun — but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be “tastefully done,” but we’re told she’s still going the full monty. It’s unclear when Lindsay will grace the cover — but it could be the life-giving jolt Playboy needs for a comeback.

“Tastefully done” just means Girls Gone Wild with filtered lighting, so yeah, several people will get to see Lindsay Lohan’s only source of income for the first time. Man, how fascinating this story is.

“750 thousand? That’s seven hundred and fifty THOUSAND, right? Not seven hundred and fifty dollars? So, should I bleach my cervix? How does this work?” – Lindsay Lohan. TMZ reports:…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Olinkia WildeBy jessOctober 26, 2011

Micaela Schaefer’s cleavage [Taxidriver Movie]
Bruce Willis got his wife pregnant. Hopefully this one’s cuter than Rumer. [The Superficial]
Topless TV clips [Drunken Stepfather]
Rehabbed 19-year-old Demi Lovato is banging 31-year-old Wilmer Valderrama again. [Celebitchy]
Bai Ling has a new single, probably the herp [The Blemish]
Kelly Brook launching xBox Kinect’s Dance Central 2/Todd’s semen [Zoo Today]
Katarina Ivanovska in Victoria’s Secret [Coed Magazine]
Miley Cyrus bought bird food. Alright. [Cityrag]
Benicio del Toro and Kimberly Stewart‘s accident looks like a baby. [Dlisted]
Megan Fox took her stepson to the Puss In Boots premiere. [Moe Jackson]
America’s sweethag Katherine Heigl heads out with her husband. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Frank Muniz (more…)

Micaela Schaefer’s cleavage [Taxidriver Movie] Bruce Willis got his wife pregnant. Hopefully this one’s cuter than Rumer. [The Superficial] Topless TV clips [Drunken Stepfather] Rehabbed 19-year-old Demi Lovato is banging…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lucy Liu Is RacistBy toddOctober 26, 2011

[SinglePic not found]

To prepare for her upcoming role in the TNT series about cops or something, Southland, Lucy Liu went on a ride a long with the LAPD through South Central wearing a bulletproof vest. Because riding on the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride also makes you a pirate. TMZ reports:

Liu — who just took a role as an LAPD officer on the TNT cop drama, “Southland” — was not involved in any police activity during her tour of the area, but we’re told the actress is scheduled to participate in a more active ride-along in the near future. As we previously reported, Liu’s new co-star Michael Cudlitz also put in some time with the LAPD recently — and actually responded to a call about a “man with a gun” during his ride-along.

A bulletproof vest? Oh, I see. Why it gotta be all like that? I think she might have been overreacting. She’s an Asian chick in a black neighborhood. The worst that could have happened is somebody asking her if she had any UV top coat.

To prepare for her upcoming role in the TNT series about cops or something, Southland, Lucy Liu went on a ride a long with the LAPD through South Central wearing…

Related Posts:

Tags:
There Is No Sex Tape. Maybe.By toddApril 08, 2010

There have been rampant rumors that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape, but Bullock has vehemently denied these claims. No Jesse James is denying it as well. Man, I just don’t know what to believe.

While Bullock denied an Internet report of such a sex tape, James has broadened the denial to also include an online story claiming he’s in at least a dozen sex tapes with other women featuring Nazi-themed paraphernalia. “The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated,” says a rep for James in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE.

Sandra Bullock has always carried herself with class and elegance, so it’s hard to believe that she would make a sex tape with The Cable Guy if he worked on motorcycles and worshiped Hitler. The (more…)

There have been rampant rumors that Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape, but Bullock has vehemently denied these claims. No Jesse James is denying it as well….

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
You Can Look Like LindsayBy toddApril 08, 2010

[Gallery not found]

Here’s Lindsay Lohan posing for pictures to promote her fashion line 6126 (That’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthdate in case you were wondering), and it looks pretty good. It’s flattering and functional for the woman on the go when she gets in and out of cars on the corner. I don’t know if she’ll be adding any accessories to her line, but I’m sure the confusingly high self-worth and semen encrusted handbags will be a big hit.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan posing for pictures to promote her fashion line 6126 (That’s Marilyn Monroe’s birthdate in case you were wondering), and it looks pretty good. It’s flattering and functional…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Ellen Degeneres Hates AmericaBy toddApril 07, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

Some family was on Family Feud (hence the name Family Feud), and they were asked “What is something that everyone knows about Ellen Degeneres. Then the dad answered. I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but I can’t shake the feeling that his answer might cost him this month’s militia dues.

Some family was on Family Feud (hence the name Family Feud), and they were asked “What is something that everyone knows about Ellen Degeneres. Then the dad answered. I don’t…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Jenny McCarthy Is SingleBy toddApril 07, 2010

[Gallery not found]

After dating for five years, Jim Carrey announced last night on Twitter that he and Jenny McCarthy have broken up.

Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>

Although not naked, Jenny McCarthy also shared her thoughts on the breakup.

I’ m so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.

It’s hard to imagine why these two broke up. One possibility is that Jim woke up and realized he was dating a chick who got famous for being naked and making fart jokes who now fights 100 years of medical science and autism research with voodoo and card tricks or whatever the hell she does. I’ve had bigger tits in my mouth before, so I’d be comfortable in laying a crayon trail for her son to a doctor in his network.

After dating for five years, Jim Carrey announced last night on Twitter that he and Jenny McCarthy have broken up. Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Jesse James Is A Porn StarBy toddApril 06, 2010

[SinglePic not found]

It’s a good thing Jesse James left sex rehab early. His 12 homemade sex tapes aren’t gonna sell themselves, you know.

The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking. “Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s all really quite disturbing.” A source who saw one of the tapes spoke to RadarOnline.com on the condition of anonymity and gave a partial description. “What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute,” the insider said. “It looked like the woman’s hands were bound. “He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then.” Jesse has been linked to four mistresses so far, but as RadarOnline.com was the first to report, he admitted to Sandra that there were seven women total during the course of their marriage. Jesse is desperate to save his marriage, but Sandra is adamant on saving her career and divorcing the serial cheater. RadarOnlne.com has learned that none of the sex tapes are up for sale but that they are also not in a completely secure location. “They could end up being made public just like the photo of Jesse giving the Nazi salute,” the insider said. “There’s no doubt some of these tapes could leak and end up on the Internet.”

Christ. Jesse James could car bomb a daycare or turn into a werewolf in the middle of a mall and it would be the best publicity he’s had all month.

Note: Since IDLYITW is under a strict “No Jesse James Pic” policy, the banner pic is of the good enough to eat, Rosie Jones. And my “good enough to eat”, I mean I would very much like to lick her vagina. Just thought I would clarify.

It’s a good thing Jesse James left sex rehab early. His 12 homemade sex tapes aren’t gonna sell themselves, you know. The tapes Jesse made with other women are shocking….

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Kelly Andrews Is The Big WinnerBy toddApril 06, 2010

Zoo invites you to a Girls' Night In with Kelly Andrews, Hannah Martin, and Tiffany White, but the other two should take their sleeping bags and go home because there's no way to compete with Kelly's perfect (and natural, yes natural) 34FF rack. I only say this because it's true, and I've been talking to Kelly and she's agreed to grant me an interview. Nothing big, just a few questions with sexual innuendo complete with stilted and awkward answers. I'm pretty sure we'll be registered at Crate & Barrel soon. I mean, I did mention her tits, right?


 

 

Zoo invites you to a Girls' Night In with Kelly Andrews, Hannah Martin, and Tiffany White, but the other two should take their sleeping bags and go home because there's…

Related Posts:

Tags: , , ,