Jessica Biel is Doing This RightBy toddFebruary 17, 2009

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Hollywood Tuna found this picture of Jessica Biel presumably on the set of Texas Chainsaw Massacre back in 2002. This picture of Jessica Biel pretending to take it in the face from a sausage. I would type more but my penis just jumped off and started doing cartwheels in the front yard. brb.

Note: By the way, if you think her tongue is freakishly long, it’s because it is. Damn, I’m in love.

Hollywood Tuna found this picture of Jessica Biel presumably on the set of Texas Chainsaw Massacre back in 2002. This picture of Jessica Biel pretending to take it in the…

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Dinosaurs Linking RobotsBy daveFebruary 17, 2009

Is it possible a whole website exists where people can make pictures of dinosaurs having sex with robots paired with inspirational phrases? Of course, it’s the internet. NSFW? [DinosaursFingRobots]

Nipple teasing seems to be a hot trend amongst the celebrities. When will actual nipples be a trend? [CityRag]

I looked a Jim Belushi’s wife in a bikini to spite him for being on television so long. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Britney Spears has a Lousiana abortion? Who hasn’t? [CelebSlam]

Why would you want to buy Michael Jackson‘s stuff? Because rhinestone socks are so practical. [PopBytes]

Angelina Jolie is turning into a man. [JustJared]

Kate Moss has finally gained enough wight to wear a bra, which would be an okay joke, except (more…)

Is it possible a whole website exists where people can make pictures of dinosaurs having sex with robots paired with inspirational phrases? Of course, it’s the internet. NSFW? [DinosaursFingRobots] Nipple…

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Amanda Bynes, Seriously. How You Doin?By toddFebruary 16, 2009

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Amanda Bynes was in New York and modeled for the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection on Friday. And by “modeled” I mean she just wore stuff she normally wears. Has anybody ever seen this chick in pants or a dress? Does she even know what those are? They could have asked her backstage to wear a dress that covered up her thighs and there would’ve been a good chance that she started jumping up and down doing ape sign language before jumping on a tire swing and trying to eat a stapler. All signs point to that not working out.

Bynes and her kick ass legs:

Amanda Bynes was in New York and modeled for the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection on Friday. And by “modeled” I mean she just wore stuff she normally wears. Has…

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Amber Alert Party!By toddFebruary 16, 2009

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The sex offender database and tween world are about to spin off their axis right now because Jonas Brother, Nick Jonas, and Selena Gomez have officially broken up. Like OMG!! Text the cell, girl! Text the cell!!! Star Magazine reports:

The 16-year-old singing sensation and his Disney star girlfriend Selena Gomez, also 16, have broken up. The youngest Jonas Brother announced he was single on The Insider. And while Nick was in NYC doing a media blitz with his bros, Selena hit the town in Los Angeles with his other ex girlfriend — Miley Cyrus! Selena, Miley and fellow tween star Demi Lovato dined on sushi at Koi in West Hollywood on Thursday. Miley’s current boyfriend, Justin Gaston, also tagged along.

The Jonas Brothers are gay, and although Selena Gomez is super cute, she looks about 11. She’s 16. So I don’t think anything is gonna change much in the next two years. She might look 13 then. If that’s the case, I might as well fuck a koala sitting on a rainbow or a basket of kittens in tiny pink bonnets. You know, because if I wanted to have sex with things that were adorable, I’d start at the top of the list.

The sex offender database and tween world are about to spin off their axis right now because Jonas Brother, Nick Jonas, and Selena Gomez have officially broken up. Like OMG!!…

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Links Less Revealing Than Ballroom DancingBy daveFebruary 16, 2009

Above video isNSFW, I guess. Though if you can’t watch ballroom dancing at work, it’s not like you’re going to run home to see it.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson‘s fight over the weekend lead them to postpone a party they were going to throw becuase of “ear infections,” which was lame before LiLo went out the next day [LaineyGossip]

Whatever went wrong for you on Valentine’s Day, Megan Fox, I want to make it all better. [JustJared]

Peaches Geldorf‘s kickass tattoo almost distracts from her bare breasts. Almost. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

Lily Allen‘s panty-flash actually makes me respect her more. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Salma Hayek got married to French guy on Valentine’s Day. The only French things I can get behind are (more…)

Above video isNSFW, I guess. Though if you can’t watch ballroom dancing at work, it’s not like you’re going to run home to see it. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson‘s…

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