Justin Bieber Got Offered $2M To Do Gay PornBy toddJanuary 15, 2015
Justin Bieber Got Offered $2M To Do Gay Porn

 

There’s nothing more homoerotic than gay porn than Justin Bieber‘s Calvin Klein ads. Or WWE Smackdown. Or the movie 300. So this seems like a natural progression.

Gay porn website Men.com has quite the offer for Justin Bieber. The site shared a video online today starring adult film actor “Johnny Rapid” in which Rapid asks the 20-year-old singer to have sex with him (for a cool check, of course). “I can’t even believe I’m gonna say this but I have an incredible offer for you, Justin Bieber,” Rapid says in the clip. “Men.com and I are offering you $2 million to do a scene with me. $2 million, that’s insane! Anyways, it will be easy, I’ll do most of the work, come in for a few hours, then you’re out of here with $2 million. Hope to see you soon.”

$2M though? That seems a little low. You’d think he get more money from whatever falls out of Mayweather’s pockets when he’s running from Pacquiao. Mayweather would probably take him to a nice dinner as well.

 

  There’s nothing more homoerotic than gay porn than Justin Bieber‘s Calvin Klein ads. Or WWE Smackdown. Or the movie 300. So this seems like a natural progression. Gay porn…

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The 2015 Oscars Nominations Were AnnouncedBy toddJanuary 15, 2015
The 2015 Oscars Nominations Were Announced

 

Sup? Oscar nominations were announced this morning, and in certain parts of the country, American Sniper is basically Passion of Christ, so they have to be happy about that bc WHITE MILITARY JESUS KILLED IRAQI CHILDREN FOR OUR SINS THEN MADE A BUNCH OF SHIT UP. Anyway, here’s my predictions:

 

Best Picture
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Selma”
“The Theory of Everything”
“Whiplash”

 

PREDICTION: Birdman.

American Sniper and Boyhood are great fictional documentaries, but have you seen Birdman?

 

Actor in a Leading Role
Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”

 

PREDICTION: Eddie Redmayne. The Academy loves them some white ppl with diseases. Jake Gyllenhaal was fucking robbed.

 

Actress in a Leading Role
Marion Cotillard, “Two Days One Night”
Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”

 

PREDICTION: Don’t really care.

 

Actor in a Supporting Role
Robert Duvall, “The Judge”
Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”
Edward Norton, “Birdman”
Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”
J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”

 

PREDICTION: J.K. Simmons. This is not even close or up for debate.

 

Actress in a Supporting Role
Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
Laura Dern, “Wild”
Emma Stone, “Birdman”
Keira Knightley, “The Imitation Game”
Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”

 

PREDICTION: Meryl Streep. Prediction Meryl Streep is like predicting the 1995-1996 Chicago Bulls.

 

Directing
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
Bennett Miller, “Foxcatcher”
Wes Anderson, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Morten Tyldum, “The Imitation Game”

 

PREDICTION: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Because bruh.

  Sup? Oscar nominations were announced this morning, and in certain parts of the country, American Sniper is basically Passion of Christ, so they have to be happy about that…
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Chelsea Heath Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddJanuary 15, 2015

Lena Dunham topless. Barf.  (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

John Travolta trying to bang dudes at the gym at 3am  Dlisted

Jessica Lowndes in a bikini. YASSSSS  Celebslam

Don’t forget about Abigail Ratchford    The Superficial

Kennedy Summers in a bikini  Hollywood Tuna

Rihanna’s ass in leggings  Drunken Stepfather

Selena Gomez in a bikini  Popoholic

Gwyneth Paltrow says Brad Pitt was out of her league  Celebitchy

Lena Dunham topless. Barf.  (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie John Travolta trying to bang dudes at the gym at 3am  Dlisted Jessica Lowndes in a bikini. YASSSSS  Celebslam Don’t forget about…

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Chris Hemsworth Danced While Getting Water Poured On HimBy toddJanuary 14, 2015

I woke up to six texts this morning telling me I should post this video of Chris Hemsworth‘s appearance on Jimmy Fallon last night. so here it is. Personally, I think the media needs to stop oversexualizing perpetuating unrealistic male body types. The matriarchy is reducing Chris Hemsworth to a mere flesh fantasy. Body policing and idealised Norse God body shapes are harmful to all and must be stopped. lol jk guys don’t care about that.

 

 

I woke up to six texts this morning telling me I should post this video of Chris Hemsworth‘s appearance on Jimmy Fallon last night. so here it is. Personally, I…

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Taylor Swift And Lorde Being BasicBy toddJanuary 14, 2015

White girls love some hiking in non-hiking gear, so Taylor Swift and Lorde went hiking yesterday. Probably on their way to Anthropologie or a Coffee Bean. Taylor Swift’s legs are about 75% smaller than Lorde’s, so maybe Lorde should speed walk. I never really knew Lorde’s legs were this big, so I think that’s why she always wears black and seems sad all the time. It could also be because she’s associated with The Hunger Games.

White girls love some hiking in non-hiking gear, so Taylor Swift and Lorde went hiking yesterday. Probably on their way to Anthropologie or a Coffee Bean. Taylor Swift’s legs are…

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Here’s Nancy Grace And 2 Chainz Debating Marijuana LawsBy toddJanuary 14, 2015

 

If there’s anybody who could use a tightly packed bowl, it’s Nancy Grace, but she’s against marijuana because OMG THE CHILDREN. As usual, her form of debate is talking over her guests and instead of listening, she waits for her chance to talk, and if weed  is legalized, then parents will force their 2-year old children to smoke and get high. In contrast, because he’s probably high as fuck, 2 Chainz calmly and logically makes his points about governing your own household, the useless drug laws, and the overcrowding of the American justice system, but Nancy Grace would like him TO THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN OMG WATCH THE VIDEO OF AN ISOLOATED INCIDENT OF A HORRIFIC PARENT AND IF WEED IS LEGALIZED THEN BABIES WILL DIE IN THE STREETS BC WEED. Idk, maybe if some moms  had access to legal marijuana, they wouldn’t drown their kids in a tub. They’d probably just order them a pizza and watch Netflix.

  If there’s anybody who could use a tightly packed bowl, it’s Nancy Grace, but she’s against marijuana because OMG THE CHILDREN. As usual, her form of debate is talking…

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Here’s The Security Footage Of Jamie Lynn Spears With The KnifeBy toddJanuary 13, 2015

 

Hey, remember when Jamie Lynn Spears reportedly broke up a fight by pulling a knife on some chick in what we all assumed was a Waffle House? Well, here’s the security footage. There were no cops present, so luckily nobody was killed. Just a mom in booty shorts handling shit then walking the hell out.

  Hey, remember when Jamie Lynn Spears reportedly broke up a fight by pulling a knife on some chick in what we all assumed was a Waffle House? Well, here’s…

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Kate Hudson’s Butt Came In 2nd Place At The Golden GlobesBy toddJanuary 12, 2015

Jessica Chastain clearly won, but Kate Hudson has had this ass for while now, so I guess that explains why she always has new dudes asking to marry her then she calls it off then immediately starts dating again then gets engaged. Then the whole process just sorta repeats itself over and over until her ass doesn’t look like this anymore. The point of this post is her butt btw. See below post for more thoughts on the subject.

Jessica Chastain clearly won, but Kate Hudson has had this ass for while now, so I guess that explains why she always has new dudes asking to marry her then…

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Allison Williams Got Her Ass Licked on The Premiere Of ‘Girls’By toddJanuary 12, 2015

Girls is a show about insufferable sociopaths and a bunch of ugly chicks and one kinda hot one. I haven’t watched since season 1, but it looks like they’ve run out of ways to plausibly make dude characters want to see Lena Dunham naked, so they had a “shocking” sex scene during last night’s premiere. And by “shocking” they mean “Marnie gets bent over a sink and has her asshole licked”. What’s really shocking is dudes who don’t do that or chicks who are freaked out by it? I mean, it’s fine, but why don’t you go have sex in a cemetery, so you can fit in with everybody there. 

 

See the screencap and video below if you want. It’s a free country.

 

(more…)

Girls is a show about insufferable sociopaths and a bunch of ugly chicks and one kinda hot one. I haven’t watched since season 1, but it looks like they’ve run…

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The 72nd Annual Golden GlobesBy toddJanuary 12, 2015

Unless you were being held captive in a place without wi-fi, you probably already know the 72nd Golden Globes were last night, and I’m not gonna spend too much time on it, I’ll just give you everything you need to know so when people ask you about it at work, you’ll have the bullet points:

 

1. Only feminist comedians can make rape jokes

2. George Clooney now has something to hold when he’s holding Amal Clooney’s purse

3. Michael Keaton’s son wrote songs for Jason Derulo

4. A white family’s 12-year ordeal is this year’s 12 Years A Slave

5. Jennifer Lopez wears the same dress to everything

6. Common and Michael Keaton made the best acceptance speeches

7. Jennifer Aniston didn’t win anything

8. Eddie Guccimane won Best Actor, because he had pretend ALS

9. Meryl Streep looked high af

10. Everybody was sweating

Unless you were being held captive in a place without wi-fi, you probably already know the 72nd Golden Globes were last night, and I’m not gonna spend too much time…

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