Livin’ La Vida HomoBy toddMarch 29, 2010

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You might want to sit down for this. Popeater reports:

After years of fighting off rumors about his sexuality, Latin singer Ricky Martin has finally just posted the following message on his official Web site, telling the world he is gay. “Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment. These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed … I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am,” he wrote. “What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word ‘happiness’ takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution,” Marin continues.

Man, I didn’t see this coming. I need to go skip rocks on a lake or do that thing where you walk around with your hands on your head because my mind is completely blown. Ricky Martin? Gay?? I just don’t believe it.

You might want to sit down for this. Popeater reports: After years of fighting off rumors about his sexuality, Latin singer Ricky Martin has finally just posted the following message…

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Sexual Innuendo Made EasyBy toddMarch 29, 2010

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Katy Perry has somehow tricked the world into believing she’s a singer and an entertainer, but in reality, her body was made for deviant sex and her face was made, because well, God can’t do everything right. Give the guy a break. He has a lot going on right now. I’m just glad Katy went on the 23rd Annual Kids’ Choice Awards to teach kids about foreshadowing. Because I can’t really shake the feeling that this probably won’t be the only scenario where Katy Perry is gonna get escorted by a stagehand while she wipes off stuff that just got shot in her face.

Katy Perry has somehow tricked the world into believing she’s a singer and an entertainer, but in reality, her body was made for deviant sex and her face was made,…

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Michelle Bombshell Is AngryBy toddMarch 26, 2010

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Although she took Jesse James’ load in an effort to get fame and money, she won’t tolerate you talking shit about her. She says on her FB:

For all you internet warriors on here talking shit…it’s easy to place judgement when your sitting behind a keyboard. Get off your God dam high horse, your shit don’t smell like roses either. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone…in other words FUCK YOU

Wow, I am sitting behind a keyboard, and you’re right, it is pretty easy to pass judgment. If this was Nuremberg, I’d be fitting you with a blindfold right about now. In other words, shut up bitch.

Although she took Jesse James’ load in an effort to get fame and money, she won’t tolerate you talking shit about her. She says on her FB: For all you…

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Beyonce Is Pregnant. Maybe.By toddMarch 26, 2010

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Don’t care. Awesome. Popeater reports:

Prepare the bassinet and ready the Diaper Genie, the Internet is once again claiming that Beyonce is pregnant. Media Takeout is reporting that the songstress is expecting her first child with rapper hubby Jay-Z. But should we believe the hype? The couple, who married in 2008 following a six-year courtship, have been plagued by pregnancy rumors since they starred together in the 2002 video for ‘Bonnie & Clyde.’ However — as evidenced by their current lack of children — the rumors have repeatedly turned out to be unfounded. Media outlets and fans alike routinely scrutinized every inch of B’s body searching for a baby bump — only to later learn she decided to have a big sandwich that day, or forgot to hit the gym. And lest we forget, B does revel in being ‘Bootylicious.’ Although we aren’t necessarily inclined to believe the reports of the couple’s impending baby bliss, Beyonce’s official events calendar is conspicuously blank, and MTO’s report of the pregnancy has not yet been denied by Beyonce’s rep.

Whatever. Beyonce always looks pregnant, so who knows if this is real or not. I just hope they wait to have a baby until scientists colonize Mars, because I’m sure the baby’s nose won’t have any problem getting oxygen in that atmosphere.

Don’t care. Awesome. Popeater reports: Prepare the bassinet and ready the Diaper Genie, the Internet is once again claiming that Beyonce is pregnant. Media Takeout is reporting that the songstress…

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Jesse James Hit This, TooBy toddMarch 25, 2010
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It think it should be obvious at this point that Jesse James’ would stick his penis in a beehive if it had tattoos and ridiculously oversized implants. TMZ reports:

Brigitte Daguerre — a Los Angeles photographer — claims Jesse hired her in 2008 to do styling work for a West Coast Choppers photo shoot. She says the two emailed and texted each other for a year, but claims they only had sex four times before she cut it off. Daguerre has 195 text messages between her and Jesse (the cell phone numbers sync up) … many of them extremely graphic. Among the milder, Jesse says, “I’ll be your monkey.” Throughout the exchanges, Jesse repeatedly asks Daguerre to send pictures and set up rendezvous. In one exchange, Daguerre complained that Jesse wasn’t letting loose. He explains, “I’m texting you in secret.”

I’m sick right now, but there isn’t enough NyQuil gelcaps in the world to make me text a girl “I’ll be your monkey”. What the hell does that even mean? Did he want to bite her then throw shit at her? Did he want her to become a quadriplegic so he could help her then develop feelings of rage against his new master? I find that “I want to stick it in your ass” is much more effective.

It think it should be obvious at this point that Jesse James’ would stick his penis in a beehive if it had tattoos and ridiculously oversized implants. TMZ reports: Brigitte…

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