Aaron Paul Did Shots With Michael Jackson At The Prince of Brunei’s CastleBy toddJanuary 10, 2014
Aaron Paul Did Shots With Michael Jackson At The Prince of Brunei’s Castle

 

Aaron Paul, who played the beloved Jesse on Breaking Bad (who probably got apprehended by police and sent to prison because his fingerprints were all over the lab, thanks Vince!) is in the February issue of Details (via Us Weekly) where he tells us about the time he did shots with Michael Jackson in a castle. That sounds like something you'd read in Cards Against Humanity, but its rea life.

"I was going back up to my room, and this guy grabs me and says, 'Hey, Prince Azim wants to see you in the library,'" the Need for Speed star tells Details. "So I go down there, and he's sitting on the couch with Michael Jackson, and me and Michael Jackson end up having this hour-long heart-to-heart about family and upbringings, and I remember, he just put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'You know, if you've had a rough childhood or not, it's all about forgiveness. Once you realize that, it's fine. Everything's fine.'" "And I'm like, 'Michael, you are absolutely right,'" Paul says. "And then I go, 'Do you want to do a shot?' And he goes, 'Sure!' And I was like, 'Okay, Michael, let's do this.'"

I'm not really sure how Aaron Paul is still alive, because if you have ever read the list of drugs Michael Jackson did on a daily basis, you'd realize it’s pretty safe to assume that nobody reading this could hang with Michael Jackson when it came time to get fucked up. When you have a doctor’s office in your house just so you can get high, I’m not really sure what I’d be able to bring to the party. In a likely scenario, I would have died, been brought back to life, died again with my intestines in a bucket beside me, and Michael Jackson would be putting on his jacket and taking everybody’s Waffle House order.

  Aaron Paul, who played the beloved Jesse on Breaking Bad (who probably got apprehended by police and sent to prison because his fingerprints were all over the lab, thanks…
Lena Dunham Compared The Characters On ‘Girls’ To Walter WhiteBy toddJanuary 10, 2014
Lena Dunham Compared The Characters On ‘Girls’ To Walter White

 

For some unknown reason, despite plummeting ratings and Lena Dunham naked in every episode, HBO has renewed Girls for a third season. So at the 2014 Winter TCA Press Tour yesterday, Lena Dunham and executive producer Judd Apatow were left to defend the decison, because outside of the HBO bubble, every character on the show is a self-absorbed, horrible human being with no reedeemable qualities. Also, Lena Dunham is naked a lot. But don't worry about how far Lena Dunham's head is up her own huge ass, because she compared the character of Hannah to the possibly the greatest charatcer in the history of television, Breaking Bad's Walter White. Yeah, you read that right. E! News reports:
 

But it wasn't all renewal news and tacos as an awkward moment during the Girls panel occurred when a male reporter said he didn't get all the nudity on the show, particularly with Dunham's character, and asked the creator and star why she's constantly naked. "Do you have a girlfriend?" executive producer Judd Apatow asked the reporter. "Does she like you?" He later added, "This guy looks in the mirror and feels bad about what he sees." (Executive producer Jenni Konner later said the reporter's comment send her into "a rage spiral.") For her part, Dunham stressed that the constant nudity on the show is "a real human expression" and said, "If you're not into me, that's your  Dunham also defended her polarizing character Hannah, the flawed but oh-so-watchable writer, for being unlikable to some viewers, saying, "People ask 'How can you sympathize with [Hannah],' and I'm like, 'You seem to like Walter White!"
 
Oh boy. Breathe it out, Todd. Breathe it out. *pets cat, thinks about the ocean* Whew, ok. First, fuck this bitch. Let's just get that out of the way now. Fuck her and fuck her show. It's Sex and The City with even uglier chicks that tries way too damn hard to transcend exactly what it is: a show written by a 27-year old, white bred elitist born to rich, pseudo artist parents who happened to be friends with Judd Apatow who instilled in her a ridiculous and completely underserving since of self-esteem by telling her how great she was every day of her life to the point where she truly believes she's some sort of trailblazing feminist and hipster sex symbol. Tell you what, replace Lena Duhnam with Candice Swanepoel in the exact same show and let me know just how "feminist" this show really is. Oh, Candice Swanepoel gets naked a lot? Then that's just the patriarchy trying force their unrealistic archetype of beauty penis into our unshaven vaginas. Do us all a favor, take several seats. And thanks for playing.
 
  For some unknown reason, despite plummeting ratings and Lena Dunham naked in every episode, HBO has renewed Girls for a third season. So at the 2014 Winter TCA Press…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Justin Bieber Egged His Neighbor’s House, Investigated For Felony VandalismBy toddJanuary 10, 2014
Justin Bieber Egged His Neighbor’s House, Investigated For Felony Vandalism

 

I thought being in the same room with Selena Gomez's vagina again would keep him from throwing tantrums, but as it turns out, Justin Bieber is still a little bitch ass douche wigger who truly believes he's untouchable. Good times, good times. TMZ reports:

Justin Bieber launched an all out egg assault on his neighbor's home Thursday night  — and the L.A. County Sheriff was called to the scene while the eggs were still flying … this according to the alleged victim. TMZ spoke to the neighbor who says he heard something banging against his house in Calabasas around 7:30 PM Thursday, and when he stepped on to a 2nd floor balcony … he says he saw Justin down below hurling eggs at his front door. According to the neighbor … Bieber started aiming for him once he stepped onto the balcony and yelled, "What the Hell are you doing?" Justin and the neighbor — who've had previous run-ins — also got into a verbal dispute while JB allegedly continued tossing a few more eggs at the house … and then retreated back to his home. 6:30 AM We've just obtained video of the incident … shot by the neighbor, who says Justin was definitely trespassing on his property during the attack. The video is dark, but you can hear the neighbor yelling, "I see you. I f**king see you!" Then Justin yells back, "F**k you!" They keep yelling back and forth for about 30 seconds, until the neighbor tells his 13-year-old daughter — who sounds terrified — to call the cops. By the way … we're told Justin is now a suspect in a FELONY vandalism investigation, since the damage to the victim's property exceeds $400.

Look, I'm not a huge proponent of violence unless someone truly deserves to be knocked out in a parking lot in front of a crowd of people, but I'd glady waive any compensation or monetary gifts associated with curb stomping this jackass. Maybe a giftcard to Taco Bell or a nice cologne.

 
  I thought being in the same room with Selena Gomez's vagina again would keep him from throwing tantrums, but as it turns out, Justin Bieber is still a little…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kim Kardashian Is Denying This Picture Is Clearly PhotoshoppedBy toddJanuary 10, 2014
Kim Kardashian Is Denying This Picture Is Clearly Photoshopped

 

Last week, Kim Kardashian posted this now infamous butt selfie on Instagram where she posed with Blac Chyna and subtly wanted you to know that she was better than you with feigned humility and a complete lack of understanding how technology works. Mostly because she was so quick to post the pic that she forgot to have E! double check the Photoshop work of the Chinese orphans that work for Kris Jenner making those leopard print pants at K-Mart, and now this whole thing has turned into a shitshow. Naturally, Kim is denying this pic has been altered in any way, because we shouldn't have the audacity to think that she or her family would do anything to manipulate the media. So, I guess it's up to you what you choose to believe. Either this pic was obviously Photoshopped or Kim's closet door is Stargate and a gateway to another dimension and time. Take a seat, think on it. I know this might be a difficult decision to make.

  Last week, Kim Kardashian posted this now infamous butt selfie on Instagram where she posed with Blac Chyna and subtly wanted you to know that she was better than…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kat Dennings’ Massive Rack Hosted The People’s Choice AwardsBy toddJanuary 09, 2014

Kat Dennings is basically Christina Hendricks in that she's kinda big and pasty and has a weird looking face, but you don't really notice any of that because you have a penis and she has gigantic boobs. She might have a wooden pirate leg for all I know. Actually she might not even have legs I've never really looked.

Kat Dennings is basically Christina Hendricks in that she's kinda big and pasty and has a weird looking face, but you don't really notice any of that because you have…
Tags: