Amy Schumer Dropped Out Of ‘Barbie’By toddMarch 24, 2017
Amy Schumer Dropped Out Of ‘Barbie’

 

Back in December it was announced that Amy Schumer was going to play Barbie in Sony’s live-action adaptation of Mattel’s most famous toy. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner pic. That’s who Sony decided would be great as Barbie. Amy Schumer. They chose Amy Schumer to play Barbie and thought that was a good idea. I can’t stress that enough. Anyway, she dropped out of the movie, so I assume it no longer takes place in an alternate universe on Planet Tumblr.

“Sadly, I’m no longer able to commit to Barbie due to scheduling conflicts,” the actress said in a statement to Variety. “The film has so much promise, and Sony and Mattel have been great partners. I’m bummed, but look forward to seeing Barbie on the big screen.” “We respect and support Amy’s decision,” a spokesperson for Sony said in a statement. “We look forward to bringing Barbie to the world and sharing updates on casting and filmmakers soon.”

I’m kind of disappointed, because I was looking forward to seeing Patton Oswalt or whatever as Ken. Not sure if it’s scheduling conflicts because Barbie was supposed to get “kicked out of Barbieland for not being perfect enough” and Amy Schumer thinks she is perfect and will have a psychotic break if you say she’s not. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner pic.

 

Here’s some Dove Cameron pics I forgot to post. I assume she won’t have any scheduling conflicts if Sony decides not to plus size wash the material.

 

  Back in December it was announced that Amy Schumer was going to play Barbie in Sony’s live-action adaptation of Mattel’s most famous toy. Amy Schumer. The one in the banner…

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Good Lord, Selena GomezBy toddMarch 24, 2017

I don’t know what they do in that rehab Selena Gomez was in, but she’s been looking fine as hell since she’s been out. Sup? How you doin? What are your thoughts on birth control? Really? Me too. We should get together and discuss this some more. Maybe over some red wine. You like red wine? I have a Costco card, so let me know.

I don’t know what they do in that rehab Selena Gomez was in, but she’s been looking fine as hell since she’s been out. Sup? How you doin? What are your…

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Reese Witherspoon Wants You To Know She Was Just Being ProtectiveBy toddApril 23, 2013

Even though her arrest reporst says Reese Witherspoon was a mouthy drunk who only got arrested because she wouldn't shut the hell up and let the police do their job, a "source" (attempted PR spin) says the arresting officer misunderstood Witherspoon and she was only being "protective" because she was "afraid". Yes, because white people should be fearful for their lives when they are pulled over in a suburb. E! News reports:

"It wasn't like that," the source said, and explained that when the officer was handcuffing her, Witherspoon simply asked, "Do you know my name?"  as in "Don't you need to know my name?"  The source also added that there was no screaming or any sort of physical altercation between Witherspoon and the officer. "She was being protective of her husband and was fearful of the situation," they tell us.

Ah, yes. That's it. The cop just misunderstood her. That happens when you're drunk and hysterical. Or a drunk bitch. Either or. I guess we'll never be able to sole this great mystery, my friends.

Even though her arrest reporst says Reese Witherspoon was a mouthy drunk who only got arrested because she wouldn't shut the hell up and let the police do their job,…

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Demi Lovato: “Promoters Gave Me Drugs”By toddApril 23, 2012



Man, I hate it when people give me free drugs. What a bunch of assholes. Contact Music reports:

Demi Lovato believes promoters gave her free drugs in a bid to get her to return to their clubs and restaurants. The former Disney star – who was admitted to rehab for three months in 2010 after punching a backing dancer on a plane during a tour with the Jonas Brothers – claims people in Hollywood used to fall over themselves to give her illegal substances. She said: ”Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. ”I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun. Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says ‘no’. That’s why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me.”…Asked about rumours she used to take cocaine, she told Fabulous magazine: ”It’s something I don’t really want to talk about. ”What I can say is that I was depressed. I would come off stage in front of 18,000 people and suddenly be alone in a hotel room. I’d come crashing down and would try to find a way to recreate that feeling, to stay ‘up’.’

For all intents and purposes, Demi Lovato is a cokehead who likes to bang random dudes for coke and in her paranoia likes to beat up her backup dancers then cut herself because her daddy never loved her and she’s fat. Which makes sense, because that’s exactly what Wilmer Valderrama has in his Ok Cupid profile under “looking for”.

Man, I hate it when people give me free drugs. What a bunch of assholes. Contact Music reports: Demi Lovato believes promoters gave her free drugs in a bid to…

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SorryBy toddAugust 16, 2010

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Snooki and the rest of the Fellowship of the STD went to some adult store in Seaside Heights, NJ, and not only does the town sound like some sort of Section 8 commune, there’s a bonus: you get to see Snooki’s flabby ass. I would say my penis is dry-heaving, but that would imply it’s about to spit something out. It’s not. I swear, if I had a choice between sticking my dick in this or something the Jigsaw Killer made, I’d at least ask how long the timer was.

Note: Before you spam the comments calling me a jealous hater and that anybody would hit this, do me a favor. Get laid.

Snooki and the rest of the Fellowship of the STD went to some adult store in Seaside Heights, NJ, and not only does the town sound like some sort of…

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Jessica Simpson Is DifferentBy toddApril 12, 2010
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In her seemingly never-ending quest to be found by the police a week after she dies miserable and alone by choking on a Hot Pocket while surrounded by pictures of John Mayer and Nick Lachey with the eyes cut out, Jessica Simpson has cut off all of her hair and posted the pics on Twitter. Or she has on a wig. I guess I could find out exactly what she did, but I’m going to the pool, so you can see how I don’t give a shit.

In her seemingly never-ending quest to be found by the police a week after she dies miserable and alone by choking on a Hot Pocket while surrounded by pictures of…

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Nobody Is Sexing ThisBy toddApril 12, 2010

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I know you’re gonna find this hard to believe, because of her elegant beauty and grace, but nobody wants to fuck Lady Gaga.
US Magazine
reports:

While recently discussing her role in Mac’s Viva Glam campaign, which supports global HIV and AIDS projects, she told London’s Daily Mail she wants her fans not to have sex, either. “I can’t believe I’m saying this – don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody,” she said. “So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.” “It’s OK to be whomever it is that you want to be,” she said. “You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you’re not ready, don’t do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you’re leaving!”

I don’t want to break up the party or the pretentious , but I really don’t need the fear of HIV/AIDS to keep me from having sex with Lady Gaga. I just need the banner picture. I’m not even halfway joking when I say I would rather have my dick captured by Al-Qaeda.

I know you’re gonna find this hard to believe, because of her elegant beauty and grace, but nobody wants to fuck Lady Gaga. US Magazine reports: While recently discussing her…

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Insecurity Is ProfitableBy toddApril 12, 2010

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Heidi Montag got ten plastic surgeries in one day, which I can only assume she did so she could unveil her kick ass body at Liquid in Vegas this weekend. The discernible eye will notice that I left out “face”, because it’s hard to imagine that the same doctor did everything from the neck down. Because everything from the neck down is almost perfect and everything from the neck up looks like Michael J. Fox was filling in. And he was wearing those big foam “We’re #1” hands. Basically what I’m saying is that she’s unattractive. Christ, do I have to spell everything out for you people?!

Heidi Montag got ten plastic surgeries in one day, which I can only assume she did so she could unveil her kick ass body at Liquid in Vegas this weekend….

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Lara Stone Is Really, Really NakedBy toddApril 09, 2010

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According to Wikipedia, Lara Stone is a Dutch model who just got completely naked for the Spring/Summer issue of Love Magazine. Also according to Wikipedia, critoniopsis cotopaxensis is a species of flowering plant in the Asteraceae family. It is found only in Ecuador. Its natural habitat is subtropical or tropical moist montanes. It is threatened by habitat loss. Somehow, that’s not as interesting.

According to Wikipedia, Lara Stone is a Dutch model who just got completely naked for the Spring/Summer issue of Love Magazine. Also according to Wikipedia, critoniopsis cotopaxensis is a species…

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Screw You, MasonBy toddApril 09, 2010
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I’ve never wanted to punch a baby or jack off to a picture with a baby in it before, but I guess Mason Whateverthefuck should have thought about that before his aunt had the best body I have ever seen. I was going to save these pictures to my hard drive, but I really don’t feel like registering every time I leave the state.

I’ve never wanted to punch a baby or jack off to a picture with a baby in it before, but I guess Mason Whateverthefuck should have thought about that before…

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