Ashley Greene Is Naked, Vitamin EnrichedBy toddJanuary 08, 2010

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I know I posted some of these pictures of Ashley Greene with only bodypaint covering her hot naked ass in an ad for SoBe yesterday, but my penis sent me an angry text message from the next room and told me it might be a good idea if I posted them all today. He really wants to have sex with her, but he just gets so shy. I tell him that chicks like confidence, but he’s just so unsure of himself. Why just last night when I was going to sleep, he could barely touch the ceiling. He blames himself, and I just don’t know what to say to him anymore. No one is gonna love him until he first learns to love himself.

I know I posted some of these pictures of Ashley Greene with only bodypaint covering her hot naked ass in an ad for SoBe yesterday, but my penis sent me…

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Kate Gosselin Is FrugalBy toddJanuary 08, 2010

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Kate Gosselin has worked hard to trick the world that she’s a victim who only wants best for her children, while in reality she’s an emasculating cunt who tries to destroy everything and anyone who dares get in the way of the fame that she so desperately craves. Her husband was either gonna cheat or blow his fuckin brains out, because you can see how having 8 kids through a science experiment and being treated like Cinderella when he didn’t mop the floor right could cause him to run away like a slave who figured out how to pick the lock. But according to the media, Kate Gosselin is now a struggling single mom who sacrifices everything for her precious little children. I guess that doesn’t include $7,000 haircuts. RadarOnline reports:

He also revealed that her hairstyle would cost almost $7,000 in his salons in Washington, DC, and New York City! “My haircuts are $950,” Ted revealed. “The color would have been about $500, and the extensions, which were great length extensions, would probably cost about $5000.” Kate was excited about getting a new look to start off the new year, but was a little nervous about changing her trademark bangs. “We were together for about 20 hours and I would say 15 of those hours were working on Kate trying to convince her to cut her bangs,” Ted joked. “I felt like she was hiding behind that front piece.” Despite the hesitation, he said the mother of eight “was really open to the entire process.” Ted summed up his vision for the TLC star: “I wanted to make sure I took her from being really ordinary to really extraordinary!” Ted even has a nickname for Kate’s old hair style. “The little short bits in the back, we called them her ‘attitude’ and getting rid of those took a long time!”

Kate Gosselin could find a mountain of gold or get attacked by a bear. I could really not give a shit which. I’ll just be content knowing that she’ll die alone in reality show that I’m sure she’ll pitch to TLC where corporate logos will be on her casket and bobble head dolls for the first 1,000 people to sign the guest book.

What a loving, caring mother:

Kate Gosselin has worked hard to trick the world that she’s a victim who only wants best for her children, while in reality she’s an emasculating cunt who tries to…

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That Dude Gaga Is EdgyBy toddJanuary 07, 2010

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When you take a horrifically unattractive “pop star” and a comically gay photographer like David LaChapelle and put them together, what else would you expect than an explosion of technicolor gayness. I appreciate LaChappelle drawing attention away from this hag’s face, but the only way these could be any more of a queer’s wet dream is if Judy Garland was in the back riding a white tiger wearing a Louis Vuitton tote bag.

When you take a horrifically unattractive “pop star” and a comically gay photographer like David LaChapelle and put them together, what else would you expect than an explosion of technicolor…

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Tiger Woods Had Sex With This. Oh, And MenBy toddJanuary 07, 2010

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Apparently sticking his dick in every vagina within 3 wood range wasn’t enough for Tiger Woods, because according to a tell-all book being shopped around by Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, one of the chicks in Tiger’s coven of mistresses, Tiger likes to have sex with men.

RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that Loredana has claimed she saw Tiger having sexual relationships with other men. That shocking twist is something no other mistress has claimed and there has been no proof. But Loredana recently attempted to sell her story for $1 million and graphically described group sex that included incidents of Tiger with other men, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. Loredana says she is planning to spill all about how she and Tiger “came about, his healthy appetite for arranged sex, threesomes, girls next door, girl-girl, and an answer to all the rumors surrounding Woods’ sexuality.” That hint about Tiger’s sexuality is the key to Loredana’s hopes for making a seven-figure deal, no matter how unlikely that seems. Loredana, a gorgeous blonde from Sicily, has told people she was one of Tiger’s favorite mistresses. One of her representatives told RadarOnline.com: “She is in talks with a number of publishing companies regarding a tell-all book deal.” Loredana has kept a low public profile since being named as a Tiger mistress and lately has been spotted at an upscale Florida country club on the golf course, taking golf lessons.

I’m really beginning to think that people are born homosexual, because there’s no way a normal dude would look at another dude’s ass and a perfectly good vagina then choose to take a pair of boxer’s off with his teeth instead of a pair of panties. Well, except for that time David Beckham blew me. I had just got out of a bad relationship and I had a lot to drink, and he…well, he was being so nice and I…um, we started talking and then…oh, don’t look at me like that! How dare you judge me??!!

Apparently sticking his dick in every vagina within 3 wood range wasn’t enough for Tiger Woods, because according to a tell-all book being shopped around by Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, one…

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IDLYITW LinksBy toddJanuary 05, 2010

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Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson, died today at the age of 30. Buy this book NOW by the great Mark Ebner, then you won’t have to feign shock. [Amazon]
Farrah Fawcett’s son is a criminal mastermind [Popeater]
Vince Vaughn got married [Popeater]
Katharine McPhee = b00bZ [Popoholic]
Victoria Silvstedt Ass [TaxiDriver Movie]
Sienna Miller in bikini [Egotastic]
Google Trends. Worst Day Ever. [College Humor]
Lindsay got robbed [Celebslam]
66 Women Who Rocked 2009 [COED Magazine]
Emma Watson in Burberry [Cele|bitchy]
Transsexual Celebrity Lookalikes [Cityrag]
Holly Madison is NYE busty [Heyman Hustle]

Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson, died today at the age of 30. Buy this book NOW by the great Mark Ebner, then you won’t have to feign shock. [Amazon]…

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