Jessica Lowndes Is In A BikiniBy toddNovember 22, 2013
Jessica Lowndes Is In A Bikini

 

I'm not really sure who took this picture, but Jessica Lowndes is obviously a co-conspirator in getting most of that plant in the picture. Instagram should have a "dat ass" function that makes the phone blow up in your hand if you think a plant is what people will want to see (Hint: It's not. It's really not).

  I'm not really sure who took this picture, but Jessica Lowndes is obviously a co-conspirator in getting most of that plant in the picture. Instagram should have a "dat…

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Jennifer Lawrence Faked A Meltdown Because She’s Just So Quirky, You GuysBy toddNovember 22, 2013

 

During her recent press tour to promote Battle Royale: Catching Fire, Jennifer Lawrence has gone to great lengths to let everybody know she's crazy. But since she has blonde hair and famous and people think she's attractive, we are calling it "quirky" and "eccentric". Much like how Tom Brady is "passionate" yet Dez Bryant is an "immature thug". Anyway, during the red carpet premiere in NYC of her movie about murdering children, Lawrence pretended to have a meltdown by screaming at photographers. If you've been to any red carpet event or seen any red carpet event or heard about any red carpet event, you know what the photographers are doing here is pretty standard and normal. But OMG U GUYZ SHE TOTALLY TURNED THE TABLES ON THEM! She screamed at the photographers who were screaming at every single person who walked down the carpet! Haha, I'll bet they'll think twice next time!

  During her recent press tour to promote Battle Royale: Catching Fire, Jennifer Lawrence has gone to great lengths to let everybody know she's crazy. But since she has blonde…

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Hugh Jackman Had Skin Cancer YesterdayBy toddNovember 22, 2013
Hugh Jackman Had Skin Cancer Yesterday

 

Hugh Jackman revealed he had skin cancer yesterday by posting this pic to Instagram then thanking his wife for staring at his nose and saying, "WTF is that? No, seriously. What is that? Ewww wipe it off. So gross. What? You can't? You have cancer. Why is there a passlock on your phone? Who the fuck is 'Rachel'?"

Deb said to get the mark on my nose checked. Boy, was she right! I had a basil cell carcinoma. Please don't be foolish like me. Get yourself checked. And USE sunscreen!!!

One of my best friends got skin cancer at 27, but he's also extremely white, so it helps to use sunscreen and to not be white. It also helps if you have a mutant healing factor that regenerates damaged or destroyed tissues of your body far beyond the capabilities of an ordinary human. Turns out Hugh Jackman just plays a character who has that and doesn't have that himself.

 

  Hugh Jackman revealed he had skin cancer yesterday by posting this pic to Instagram then thanking his wife for staring at his nose and saying, "WTF is that? No,…
Catalina Otalvaro Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddNovember 22, 2013
Catalina Otalvaro Says Good Morning, Links

 

Kanye West Compares Himself To The Main Character In ’12 Years A Slave’ [Dlisted]

Shockingly, Kylie and Kendall Have No Rhythm [Fishwrapper]

Eva Longoria See Through Bra (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

This Is A Post About Mila Kunis’ Butt [The Superficial]

Nicole Andrews Looks Very Talented [Hollywood Tuna]

Kate Bosworth’s Scrawny Sexiness Hits The “Homefront” Premiere [Popoholic]

Carmen Electra is using her low level celebrity as a platform for the weirdest cause (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

T.I. with an adorable wittle bitty puppy dog [TMZ]

Anna Wintour watching Kanye West [Lainey Gossip]

Did Angelina Jolie fire her manager after seeing the success of ‘Gravity’? [Celebitchy]

Today’s Top 5 Supermodel Selfies On Instagram [Moe Jackson]

Warner Bros registers a list of possible titles for Batman vs. Superman, and almost all of them are night/knight puns [Film Drunk]

Kate Upton is having man problems [Celebslam]

20 Things You Didn't Know About JFK Conspiracies [COED Magazine]

Britney Spears’ ‘Work Bitch’ Video Was Like an Orgy [The Blemish]

Turns Out Amanda Bynes Is Mentally Competent To Stand Trial After All [Evil Beet Gossip]

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Rumored for Sandman [Crave Online]

Did one of Courtney Stodden’s boobs go missing? [Popbytes]

Robert Pattinson May Go Public With Kristen Stewart After The Holidays [Hollywood Life]

 

pic source = Instagram

  Kanye West Compares Himself To The Main Character In ’12 Years A Slave’ [Dlisted] Shockingly, Kylie and Kendall Have No Rhythm [Fishwrapper] Eva Longoria See Through Bra (NSFW site)…
Kelly Clarkson Wants A Christmas Miracle In Her UterusBy toddOctober 31, 2013

 

Kelly Clarkson did and interview with Valentine In The Morning yesterday, which detectives will later say was the motive that drove her husband of 11 days to that murder-suicide.

Kelly Clarkson checked in with Valentine this morning and said her life is great, but she has babies on the brain! Clarkson, who is now Mrs. Blackstock, was married October 20th – and is ready to have kids with her new hubby. She already has names picked out! "I want babies!" Clarkson told Valentine. “Everybody keeps saying, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ And I’m like, ‘I want to be pregnant.’ “…She wants two children in addition to her two step-children. And she wants to be pregnant for Christmas!

No pressure, just get her pregnant by Jesus' birthday so she can break into people's houses and steal all their Christmas food and sleep in their beds. And sit in their chairs. I don't know what kind of self-loathing it would take to get Kelly Clarkson pregnant, but he obviously ignored the biggest red flag. This chick never wears shoes or a pedometer. She really wanted to be in a position where she wouldn't feel bad for saying she was eating for two.

 

[h/t The Superficial]

 
  Kelly Clarkson did and interview with Valentine In The Morning yesterday, which detectives will later say was the motive that drove her husband of 11 days to that murder-suicide….

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A Moment With Anastasia AshleyBy toddOctober 31, 2013
A Moment With Anastasia Ashley

 

Good morning. How is everyone? Really? Man, sorry to hear about that. You should probably get that checked out. What? Don't even worry about what Jessica says, she's just jealous. She's always been jealous of you, remember that time in high school when she did that thing? What a bitch. Anyway, here's Anastasia Ashley in a bikini. That always makes me feel better.

  Good morning. How is everyone? Really? Man, sorry to hear about that. You should probably get that checked out. What? Don't even worry about what Jessica says, she's just…

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Justin Bieber Thinks He’s Banksy NowBy toddOctober 31, 2013
Justin Bieber Thinks He’s Banksy Now

 

Because he's not content on just be a regular douche, Justin Bieber is raising his douche game by spray painting bunnies on walls because he thinks that's art. E! reports:

On Thursday, Oct. 31, the 19-year-old pop star Instagrammed pictures of his art tagged on buildings. The Biebs himself could be seen practicing his "street art" (aka his "new hobby") wearing sneakers, saggy pants, a hoodie and a baseball cap. In one picture, Justin is shown tagging "RIP PAC" on a concrete wall. It is unclear whether he was memorializing Tupac Shakur, the pet hamster he named in the late rapper's honor, or both. The "Believe" singer's partner in crime for the evening was R&B singer Khalil. The former Def Jam artist Instagrammed a picture of "Me & Bizzle trying something new" which, amusingly, shows a cop car—flashing lights on—just around the corner.

We can call what Banksy does art if you want, but it's still just some dude with some stencils and cans of spray paint. But when you're an insulated 19-year old who probably needs to cut up prostitutes to feel alive, you might think defacing private property is pretty dope. I heard one time Bieber cut his finger trying to open some spray paint then his bodyguards beat up the can and told it it better recognize a real nigga. Bieber nodded while he finished the rest of his sippy cup.

 

  Because he's not content on just be a regular douche, Justin Bieber is raising his douche game by spray painting bunnies on walls because he thinks that's art. E!…

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Joslyn James Is SubtleBy toddMay 10, 2010

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When your vagina is #14 on a married man’s rotation and your 1040EZ form says “double penetration anal” under occupation, you really have to up your attention whore game if you want to top yourself. I hate to make this post about me, but looks like somebody needs to by my new book, “How To Up Your Attention Whore Game”. Not available where actual real books are sold!

When your vagina is #14 on a married man’s rotation and your 1040EZ form says “double penetration anal” under occupation, you really have to up your attention whore game if…

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Lindsay And Dina Really Believe ThisBy toddMay 08, 2010

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Lindsay Lohan lives in a world of delusion and fantasy where she’s a big movie star who is just misunderstood by the cruel, lying media. Dina Lohan is a enabling fame whore who would sell her daughter’s ass to an oil sheik if OK! Magazine promised to bump Angelina Jolie from the cover. Man, guess what they say in an interview when asked if Lindsay is a drunk, drug-addicted mess. I bet you’ll never guess! E.T reports:

Asked if she has any problems with drugs, alcohol or prescription medication, Lindsay replies, “No, I don’t. I work. And if I go out with my friends, I’m 23 and I’m allowed to do that. I don’t go out when I’m working.” Addressing recent tabloid photos of her falling in the street, Lindsay says, “I’m the most clumsy person in the world. I do trip a lot. I fall. I walk into walls sometimes.” “When did I stop being okay?” asks the star. “I am fine. I am happy and I am working. And I’m good. And I’m surrounded by great friends now. You know, I have weeded out a lot of people in my life.” “But everyone does that,” chimes in Dina. “That is like normal growth; she’s 23.” “We have a good relationship,” says Lindsay about her mom. “We fight like friends do. She is a very strong woman. I’ve learned a lot. Not every mother has to read false stories about their daughter. It’s nice to know she has sat by me through all of that. She knows what is really happening in my life.” “We are just very misunderstood,” adds Dina. “And, when I read it, it breaks my heart because it is not true. I am going to cry. I’m really going to cry. … She has the biggest heart of anyone on the planet.” Of the bad press, Lindsay adds, “I don’t pay attention to it. … The only problem is that it distracts from me getting jobs, and that is when it hurts me. Especially when it is not true. … Everyone goes through ups and downs. I am not one to hide anything. I am an honest person. I take it for what it is. I am me.”

Yep, that’s it. The media is planting false stories. Complete with pictures and sworn testimony. Chateau Marmont must be some kind of library or dog shelter, because it’s obvious Lindsay spends her spare time reading to blind kids and giving handicapped dogs baths. You know, except with way more semen and drink specials.

Lindsay Lohan lives in a world of delusion and fantasy where she’s a big movie star who is just misunderstood by the cruel, lying media. Dina Lohan is a enabling…

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God Should Autograph ThatBy toddMay 07, 2010

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Science apparently discovered how to fuse denim to your body, because Jessica Biel walked around in New York yesterday with her perfect ass squeezed into the tightest jeans I have ever seen. I’m thinking about buying my penis a miner’s hat, because I’m not even halfway joking when I say I would dig between those back pockets like her held precious diamonds. Then I would cum really fast, you see.

Science apparently discovered how to fuse denim to your body, because Jessica Biel walked around in New York yesterday with her perfect ass squeezed into the tightest jeans I have…

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