Hugh Jackman Almost Cut Off His Junk With The Wolverine ClawsBy toddMay 02, 2014
Hugh Jackman Almost Cut Off His Junk With The Wolverine Claws

 

Bryan Singer would have recast immediately. Immediately.

"There was a very intense first scene and I insisted on a closed set," Jackman said. "I ran around the corner and all the female members of the crew were gathered there." "I tried to cover myself and cut my inner thigh," Jackman continued. "It was just the inner thigh, thankfully. The metal claws had to go-you can't have bits and pieces flying off."

As a man, anything going around your junk that's not putting her hair in a ponytail always causes severe anxiety and high levels of stress, so I don't even want to think about metal claws in the vacinity of my junk. Or claws in general. Or anything made of metal. I mean, except maybe my iPhone.

  Bryan Singer would have recast immediately. Immediately. "There was a very intense first scene and I insisted on a closed set," Jackman said. "I ran around the corner and…

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Demi Lovato: “Promoters Gave Me Drugs”By toddApril 23, 2012



Man, I hate it when people give me free drugs. What a bunch of assholes. Contact Music reports:

Demi Lovato believes promoters gave her free drugs in a bid to get her to return to their clubs and restaurants. The former Disney star – who was admitted to rehab for three months in 2010 after punching a backing dancer on a plane during a tour with the Jonas Brothers – claims people in Hollywood used to fall over themselves to give her illegal substances. She said: ”Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. ”I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun. Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says ‘no’. That’s why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me.”…Asked about rumours she used to take cocaine, she told Fabulous magazine: ”It’s something I don’t really want to talk about. ”What I can say is that I was depressed. I would come off stage in front of 18,000 people and suddenly be alone in a hotel room. I’d come crashing down and would try to find a way to recreate that feeling, to stay ‘up’.’

For all intents and purposes, Demi Lovato is a cokehead who likes to bang random dudes for coke and in her paranoia likes to beat up her backup dancers then cut herself because her daddy never loved her and she’s fat. Which makes sense, because that’s exactly what Wilmer Valderrama has in his Ok Cupid profile under “looking for”.

Man, I hate it when people give me free drugs. What a bunch of assholes. Contact Music reports: Demi Lovato believes promoters gave her free drugs in a bid to…

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SorryBy toddAugust 16, 2010

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Snooki and the rest of the Fellowship of the STD went to some adult store in Seaside Heights, NJ, and not only does the town sound like some sort of Section 8 commune, there’s a bonus: you get to see Snooki’s flabby ass. I would say my penis is dry-heaving, but that would imply it’s about to spit something out. It’s not. I swear, if I had a choice between sticking my dick in this or something the Jigsaw Killer made, I’d at least ask how long the timer was.

Note: Before you spam the comments calling me a jealous hater and that anybody would hit this, do me a favor. Get laid.

Snooki and the rest of the Fellowship of the STD went to some adult store in Seaside Heights, NJ, and not only does the town sound like some sort of…

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Tiger Woods Is Sorry. Again. Not Really.By toddMarch 22, 2010
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Tiger agreed to his first interview since his wife cracked his head with a 3-wood back on November 27th, and finally we can put all this behind us. With a hard-nosed interviewer and Tiger’s desire to open up once and for all, and with such humble answers as “that’s a private matter”, “that’s also a private matter”, “that’s between Elin and myself”, and “once again, that’s between Elin and myself,” Tiger left no room for further speculation and distrust. Except for with his whores. He might want to get a prepaid cell phone this time.

Note: Seriously, why the fuck does he agree to do this shit? Instead of “answering” these obviously rehearsed and pre-screened questions, ESPN should have just filmed him with his hands over his ears and shaking his head with his eyes closed screaming “La la la la la la I can’t hear you la la la la la la!!!”

Tiger agreed to his first interview since his wife cracked his head with a 3-wood back on November 27th, and finally we can put all this behind us. With a…

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Brittany Murphy Loved Drugs, Pt. 4By toddMarch 21, 2010

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Seriously, are we still going with “pneumonia”?

TMZ has learned Brittany Murphy used her own name — besides the alias Lola Manilow Murphy — to secure an array of prescription drugs. Sources tell us between 2003-2009, Brittany had scores of prescriptions filled for 32 different drugs … and that was at just one L.A. pharmacy — and it’s not Eddie’s Pharmacy, the one that cut her off 4 months before her death because the owner feared an accident loomed. The drugs included Inderal and Propranolol (high blood pressure), Sarafem (a type of Prozac), chlordiazepoxide (sedative), promethazine (sedative), and four different drugs for asthma. Also on the list — a number of antibiotic and allergy medications. Brittany had a prescription filled five times for Biaxin — a drug used to treat, among other things, pneumonia. The Coroner ruled Murphy died an accidental death caused by “community acquired pneumonia.”

Damn, bitch. Take enough pills? I bet they buried her with her cell phone, so she could call in prescriptions. Christ, who needs magic beans when you can stack and climb up all the bottles that say “Brittany Murphy”.

Seriously, are we still going with “pneumonia”? TMZ has learned Brittany Murphy used her own name — besides the alias Lola Manilow Murphy — to secure an array of prescription…

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Kelly Carlson Is DifferentBy toddMarch 21, 2010

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Kelly Carlson plays, Kimber, the ex-porn star with the heart and vagina of gold on Nip/Tuck, and she attended an event I didn’t bother to look up this weekend, and the discerning eye will notice that she’s now a brunette. Not that it really matters to me. She could have braided intestines for hair and I’d still cum at least once.

Kelly Carlson plays, Kimber, the ex-porn star with the heart and vagina of gold on Nip/Tuck, and she attended an event I didn’t bother to look up this weekend, and…

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Brittany Murphy Loved Drugs, Pt. 3By toddMarch 20, 2010

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Since it’s frontier times, many healthy 32-year old’s succumb to the pneumonia plague like Brittany Murphy. I hope one day science can come up with a way to stop this epidemic that are killing our young. Oh, and if they could come up with a way for women not to have babies squatting by a tree alone while biting down on a stick, that would be great, too.

TMZ has learned Brittany Murphy received no fewer than 200 pills every month from January 2008 through August 2009 … and sometimes as many as 400. As we first reported, Murphy used an alias — Lola Manilow Murphy — at Eddie’s Pharmacy in Los Angeles for nearly two years … before the pharmacy finally cut her off 4 months before her death. Pharmacy records show Murphy was getting regular scrips for hydrocodone (Vicodin), clonazepam and Klonopin (anti-anxiety), and Vicoprofen (a Vicodin/ibuprofen combo) — doubling up on some prescriptions on certain months. For example, one month Murphy was prescribed 200 hydrocodone and 100 clonazepam; another month it was 300 Vicoprofen and 100 Klonopin. All the prescriptions were prescribed by Dr. Richard Kroop — we’re told investigators paid a visit to Kroop on Friday afternoon.

So in closing, as stated previously, this wasn’t some tragic accident. Unless tragic accidents can be averted by not sucking up prescription meds like a Dyson. I wouldn’t take 400 one-a-day Jedi pills a month, much less hydrocodone. You know, except for my ExtenZe. I should be at 4″ by the summer. Look out ladies!

Since it’s frontier times, many healthy 32-year old’s succumb to the pneumonia plague like Brittany Murphy. I hope one day science can come up with a way to stop this…

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Hold Still Please, Ma’amBy toddMarch 19, 2010

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With all the Michelle Bombshell stuff yesterday, I apparently missed these pics of Heidi Montag filming The Hills in a ridiculously short skirt and shorts. I realize she’s had more work than the Millennium Falcon, but my penis isn’t here to judge. He’s here to pound her vagina until it looks like something a kindergartner made out of play-doh. That doesn’t necessarily make me a bad person. It’s him! It’s him, I tell ya!

With all the Michelle Bombshell stuff yesterday, I apparently missed these pics of Heidi Montag filming The Hills in a ridiculously short skirt and shorts. I realize she’s had more…

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Michelle Bombshell Doesn’t Care About Black PeopleBy toddMarch 19, 2010

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TMZ has obtained pictues of Michelle Bombshell posing as an unsexy Nazi in a photoshoot in which they really didn’t need to convince her to be enthusiastic.

TMZ has obtained the shocking photos of Michelle McGee, which were taken almost a year ago. We’re told the Nazi-themed layout — complete with a swastika armband and backdrop — was the photographer’s idea, but that Michelle was very enthusiastic. In child custody documents filed in January, Michelle’s ex-husband says she “makes the Nazi salute,” and has a swastika tattooed on her stomach (not seen in these pics). In one photo the letter “w” is on Michelle’s left leg, and the letter “p” on her right. We’re told Michelle tells people it stands for “white power.”

I guess what they are trying to say here is that if Sandra Bullock was married to LeBron James instead of Jesse James, they would probably still be happily married. I don’t know. I get the feeling this chick might be racist.

If you just ate, I apologize:

TMZ has obtained pictues of Michelle Bombshell posing as an unsexy Nazi in a photoshoot in which they really didn’t need to convince her to be enthusiastic. TMZ has obtained…

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Right This Way, Ma’amBy toddMarch 18, 2010

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Audrina Patridge went to the Nail Garden on Ventura Boulevard yesterday and hopefully she wasn’t looking for a dress that fit, because if her huge rack could permanently hang out that would be great. I realize she’s a vapid whore with comically high sense of self-worth, but I’m just trying to titty fuck her, not discuss Pollock’s springs period.

Audrina Patridge went to the Nail Garden on Ventura Boulevard yesterday and hopefully she wasn’t looking for a dress that fit, because if her huge rack could permanently hang out…

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