Tara Grace Says Good Morning, LinksBy toddMarch 05, 2014
Tara Grace Says Good Morning, Links

 

John Travolta is having a bad week [Dlisted]

Jaden Smith is still a pretentious asshole [Fishwrapper]

Paris Hilton is see through [Taxi Driver Movie]

Britney Spears is saggy [The Superficial]

Nina Agdal works it in Cosmo [Hollywood Tuna]

Keira Knightley's dress is confusing everyone [Popoholic]

Bar Refaeli's ass is disappointing [Drunken Stepfather]

Whitney Houston's family seems nice [TMZ]

Jessica Alba is angry [Celebitchy]

Joanna Krupa has a massive head [Moe Jackson]

Jared Leto's Oscar acceptance speech was cut from the Russian broadcast [Film Drunk]

Michelle Rodriguez wants a baby with Clara Delevigne [Celebslam]

Demi Lovato shaved half her head [The Blemish]

 

NOTE: Hey, there. Do you like delicious food that won't make you fat? And do you also like alcohol? Of course you do. So, why don't you go visit my friend Lindsay's site, Vodka & Biscuits. She's a kickass chef and an even more kickass person. She also kinda looks like a young Christina Ricci. So to recap, awesome recipes, vodka, and a young Christina Ricci. Sounds like three things a genie would hear.

 

pic source = Instagram

  John Travolta is having a bad week [Dlisted] Jaden Smith is still a pretentious asshole [Fishwrapper] Paris Hilton is see through [Taxi Driver Movie] Britney Spears is saggy [The…

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Oh Hey There, MirandaBy toddMarch 04, 2014

Yeah, so speaking of after parties, here's Miranda Kerr at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. When you're physical perfection you can pretty much wear anything, so let's all thank Miranda for deciding to wear this dress instead. Because, damn. When asked for comment, Orlando Bloom said, "I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL DO IT! DON'T COME IN ANY CLOSER! I MEAN IT! MIIIIRRAAAAANNNDDDAAAA!!!" But, Orlando. You have so much to live for, man. Wait, no you don't. They ran out of those Hobbit books. Sorry, bro.

Yeah, so speaking of after parties, here's Miranda Kerr at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. When you're physical perfection you can pretty much wear anything, so let's all thank Miranda…

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Dear GodBy toddMarch 30, 2009

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Not to sound mean, but my unbridled hate for the Kardashians has made me appreciate the idea of car bombs, and I hope their father (this dude) is in a special place in hell, but damn this chick has giant boobs. Boobs are awesome in general, but huge boobs are like an eagle soaring in the heavens or a kid with MS finishing a sack race. They are miracles to be beheld with awe and wonder. In fact, instead of a swastika, the Nazis should have made their symbol a pair of DDs in a wet t-shirt. Who knows, things may have turned out differently.

Not to sound mean, but my unbridled hate for the Kardashians has made me appreciate the idea of car bombs, and I hope their father (this dude) is in a…

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Links To Rat Out Your Daddy ForBy daveMarch 30, 2009

The above private voicemail was supposedly recorded in January and is, thus far, the only concrete evidence that Daddy Spears might be as controlling as Adnan and Sam Lutfi were.

Paris Hilton loves a lot of stuff. [EbaumNation]

Every time you think J.Lo is dead and you never have to think about her again, she pops up in some ridiculous outfit. At this point, someone’s gonna have to off her, straight up. [LaineyGossip]

Nic Cage
is looking grunge-y on the set of his new flick. [BadandUgly]

I think this tight dress on Sara Underwood couldn’t be tighter without ripping off her sweet, sweet body. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Madonna’s pilgrimage to get another child continues. [ICYDK]

Holly Madison is anti-airbrushing, which is fine (more…)

The above private voicemail was supposedly recorded in January and is, thus far, the only concrete evidence that Daddy Spears might be as controlling as Adnan and Sam Lutfi were….

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Hedi Kulm Nude On A BeachBy daveMarch 29, 2009
[Gallery not found]

So you want your gossip to be timely, eh? Too bad. When I find nude Hedi Klum, nude Hedi Klum trumps whatever else I’m working on.

These particular pics are shot by photographer Russell James, from his book titled Russell James. You can find him online, unsurprisingly, at RussellJames.com. Anyone getting the idea Russell James loves Russell James?

So you want your gossip to be timely, eh? Too bad. When I find nude Hedi Klum, nude Hedi Klum trumps whatever else I’m working on. These particular pics are…

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Man-Panties Sniffed Aboard The Good Ship MayerBy daveMarch 29, 2009
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John Mayer does something called the Mayercraft Cruise and though I was groaning and bitching about how I didn’t care, I did delve deep into the official site to look for a description of the event, because if I didn’t this would be a post full of penis/John-Mayer-Is-Lame jokes:

Get ready for the best four days and four nights of your life. The original Mayercraft Carrier marked the start of something special: incredible performances (and unique choices of outfits), lasting friendships, and stories that seem too good to be true. John had such a great time onboard last year that he’s doing it all over again. Get ready for the Mayercraft Carrier 2: Even Craftier!

We’ll be shipping off the West Coast, leaving from Los Angeles (Port of San Pedro), CA on March 27th, 2009 and returning March 31st. In between the two days at sea filled with non-stop music, contests, parties, theme nights, good times, John Mayer (of course), O.A.R., Guster, and many more artists – we’ll be dropping anchor for a full day in beautiful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! You’d be crazy to miss out on all of this craftiness.

As the rest of us stay sane back on land, somewhere a boat piloted by John Mayer is floating around the sea, keeping all those crazy enough to get on a boat with John Mayer just to see O.A.R away from the general population.

If the people on that boat are the kind of people who toss their man-kini bottoms on the stage, then Mayer owes them the common courtesy of taking a face full of used-crotch smell.

It all just seems like craziness to me. If I wanted someone to smell my dick, I’m pretty sure I could hit Paris Hilton straight in the face with my dirty underwear from 20 feet away.

John Mayer does something called the Mayercraft Cruise and though I was groaning and bitching about how I didn’t care, I did delve deep into the official site to look…

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Sham-POW!By daveMarch 28, 2009

Observe Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy in his natural habitat above. Showing you how, dammit, you can mop up anything with that ShamWow. Except your shame when you punch a hooker in the face 4 times. Yeah, unless were talking about liquid shame (semen), the ShamWow can’t wipe up existential crisis. Here’s Vince’s mugshot:

Vince went down to Miami and being in a new city didn’t have his usual ShamFloozies to stick his rod into, so he did what any normal television spokesperson would do and hired a hooker. This particular hooker is named Sasha Harris and she’s 26:

Reports the Smoking Gun:

According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

(more…)

Observe Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy in his natural habitat above. Showing you how, dammit, you can mop up anything with that ShamWow. Except your shame when you punch a…
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