Well technically, Oscar Isaac‘s girlfriend is having a kid, but if I called this post, “Elvira Lind Is Having A Kid”, you would’ve just said “I don’t know who that is” and scrolled past the news about Elvira Lind. You might have scrolled past this anyway, who’s to say, really? Or whose to say, really? Either or.
It looks like a new little X-wing fighter pilot is on his (or her) way: Star Wars: The Force Awakens star Oscar Isaac and his girlfriend Elvira Lind are expecting a baby together. The private couple were spotted Monday out and about in New York City, with Lind’s blossoming baby belly peeking through her maxi dress…According to her website, Lind is a Danish director from Copenhagen, who graduated from film school in Cape Town, South Africa, in 2006. She specializes in documentaries and has a film premiering at Tribeca Film Festival this year.
South Africa? I wonder if she hates black people. But kudos to Oscar for staying with this chick after he got famous and getting her pregnant instead of getting a supermodel pregnant. If I was Oscar Isaac, I’d be getting supermodels pregnant or just models in general. This is probably why I’m not Oscar Isaac and am currently just writing about him. It’s fine. Please respect me and my family’s privacy at this time.
So, I watched the Gary JohnsonTown Hall thing last night, and I have to say, it was the best anti-marijuana ad I’ve ever seen. Like, just let Bill Weld talk, you goofy fucker. So now that I know it would actually be a wasted vote, let’s move on to better things like Bella Thorne‘s hot ass in a bikini. Enjoy. Also, the magic wand of the free market has found her a new boyfriend. Gary Johnson should mention this at some point. It works!
Sup. It’s the Weekend Dump. We like these. So here’s Jessica Lowndes with the most pretend unintentional thirst trap on Instagram this weekend, Cara Delevingne realizing she’s getting a Razzie, Ariel Winter thinking she found goos selfie light, and a 50 Cent and Vern Troyer picture. The last one might be the greatest thing you see all day.
I was driving through three states yesterday when the news broke that Prince died. I cried with you. So let’s not rehash that. Instead, let’s celebrate the things we all enjoy here: pure savagery and shitting on the Kardashians. Like the time in 2011 when Kim Kardashian walked on stage during a Prince concert. Prince spun her around, looked at her ass, then said, “get off the stage“. Prince was the hero we deserved.
Dearly Beloved, I was driving through three states yesterday when the news broke that Prince died. I cried with you. So let’s not rehash that. Instead, let’s celebrate the things we…
“It’s come up a few times in the last few years, like, ‘You’re too fat for this,'” the 26-year-old beauty shared with the mag. “And I’m just sitting here like, ‘Wait, what? Do you want a skeleton?’ But I feel good. I don’t want to lose 20 pounds, because I don’t need to.” “I get told all the time to lose weight,” the Pretty Little Liars star continued. “I got that a month ago. It’s just weird. With my stuff recently, it’s been, ‘You have to be skin and bones or you’re not getting it.’ There was a point where it was getting to where a size 2 was great. I’m a size 2, but I think that a size 4 is healthy. I think that all of these sizes are healthy.”
I don’t know if she’s talking about roles or being stopped at the door at the Whole Foods in West Hollywood. It remains unclear. Maybe their definition of fat differs from mine, but these pictures have pretty much all the fat I need for her to be cast in the movie I’m writing where I’m a pizza delivery guy and I go to her house and then we have sex. Pretty excited about it. It’s a new twist on porn.
Oh, you can see the hi-res version of the cover here. You’ll want to.
Kaley Cuoco abs is a thing that’s happening this week, but I’m not really sure we’re all not saying “abs”. Anyway, doesn’t matter. Here she is running to a car after a yoga class. No word if that car took her to a much needed psychiatrist appointment. All we can do is hope the best, friends.
Kaley Cuoco abs is a thing that’s happening this week, but I’m not really sure we’re all not saying “abs”. Anyway, doesn’t matter. Here she is running to a car…
Forever bae real doll Ariana Grande dropped the single and the video for “Focus” last night. I guess the song is kinda ok until you get to the chorus. Not sure if they only had five minutes of studio time left to do the chorus or if there was a fire, but the video is basically just four minutes of Ariana Grande in a tight dresses shaking her ass. Nothing else is really supposed to matter I think.
There’s been too much Jake Lloyd lately, so here’s Charlotte McKinney in some photoshoot where she’s in a bikini and holding her boobs. To be honest, this is much better than schizophrenia. Boobs are pretty much better than anything besides boobs that are not being covered up by hands. Or boobs being held by your hands. Or just boobs in general. Boobs.
There’s been too much Jake Lloyd lately, so here’s Charlotte McKinney in some photoshoot where she’s in a bikini and holding her boobs. To be honest, this is much better…