Blake Lively Might Be PregnantBy toddSeptember 20, 2012



Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have been married less than a month, but “spies” are now saying she’s pregnant. Or she’s just hungry. Page Six reports:

Rumors are rife on the “Gossip Girl” set that Blake Lively could be expecting her first child. The blond beauty, back at work in New York after her secret Sept. 9 wedding to Ryan Reynolds, is “glowing,” say spies, but also is eating more than normal. One spy said, “Blake is usually really careful about what she eats, but since her wedding, she seems to be eating a lot more. Everyone on set is on bump-watch.”

Wait, you’re telling me that a woman is eating like Christina Aguilera at Wonka’s factory the minute a man is legally obligated to love her forever or split half his money with her? Get the fuck outta here, man. That’s just crazy talk.

UPDATE: Lively’s rep says she’s not pregnant. My rep says I actually look better in white.

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have been married less than a month, but “spies” are now saying she’s pregnant. Or she’s just hungry. Page Six reports: Rumors are rife on…

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Lady Gaga Has A New Song That LeakedBy toddSeptember 19, 2012



Apparently Lady Gaga is a gangsta rapper who really loves cake, because her new song “Cake Like Lady Gaga” was leaked today (I have no idea what that fucking means). I’m not sure if this is worst song ever in the history of recorded music, but apparently her rapping style is to take a bunch of Xanax then rhyme designer names with other words and threatening to shoot a bitch ass trick.

You can hear the song HERE. You know if you’re into that sort of thing.

And yes, it’s her Maybe. Who knows. (via ONTD)

this most definitely is Gaga. It was posted by gagas current producer DJ Whiteshadow with her vocals pitched down. This is the fixed version. Also, Gagas best friend Tara confirmed via Twitter its her.

Apparently Lady Gaga is a gangsta rapper who really loves cake, because her new song “Cake Like Lady Gaga” was leaked today (I have no idea what that fucking means)….

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The Hobbit Has A TrailerBy toddSeptember 19, 2012


The trailer for Peter Jackson’s highly-anticipated prequel to The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, was released today, and to be honest, it’s kinda lame. And I’m kinda over it. It’s taking way too long. If they really wanted to get their hands on a ring they should all just join the Miami Heat.

The trailer for Peter Jackson’s highly-anticipated prequel to The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, was released today, and to be honest, it’s kinda lame. And…
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Hey, Salma. Sup?By toddSeptember 19, 2012



Salma Hayek and the rest of the cast of Savages were at the Mandarin Oriental in London last night, but if they wanted to be included in these pictures with Salma, they should have thought about that before they showed up without gigantic tits.

Salma Hayek and the rest of the cast of Savages were at the Mandarin Oriental in London last night, but if they wanted to be included in these pictures with…

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Ireland Baldwin Is Getting The Hang Of TwitterBy toddSeptember 18, 2012



Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger are both crazy, but when they have unprotected sex and Kim doesn’t have an abortion, this happens sixteen years later on Twitter.

I stoleeeee your snapback HA #minenow #lamemirrorpic #bahaha

Like most teenage white girls, Ireland Baldwin took a random premise and added a bunch of stupid hashtags to attempt to hide the fact that she’s just posting a pic of herself in a bikini to get compliments. Keep up the good work, Alec.

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger are both crazy, but when they have unprotected sex and Kim doesn’t have an abortion, this happens sixteen years later on Twitter. I stoleeeee your…

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The Kardashians Celebrated SomethingBy toddSeptember 18, 2012



Three Armenian whores celebrated the 1-year anniversary of the Stripper Leopard PrintKardashian Kollection at Sears. There’s a lot more pictures on Getty, and I looked at them all, but I didn’t see any of the Chinese kids who make any of these clothes. Kris Jenner probably sent them all on a spa retreat I bet.

Three Armenian whores celebrated the 1-year anniversary of the Stripper Leopard PrintKardashian Kollection at Sears. There’s a lot more pictures on Getty, and I looked at them all, but I…

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Shaun White Destroyed A Hotel Room, Got ArrestedBy toddSeptember 18, 2012



Just so we’re clear, Shaun White shouldn’t compete in the “running down the hallway and pulling fire alarms” portion of the X-Games. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … White was in a Nashville hotel when he allegedly trashed his room in a stupor. When he was confronted by hotel staff, Shaun allegedly pulled several fire alarms and then ran fast … so fast he fell and split his head open. Law enforcement tells us Shaun was arrested for public intoxication and vandalism, but was taken to a hospital for treatment first. Once he’s treated he’ll be taken to jail.

Shaun White is a ginger, so it was only a matter of time before he was revealed to be a soulless menace hellbent on destruction and chaos. I’m surprised they didn’t find children drowned in the bathtub or a box of ACME explosives. Or whatever. Look, it’s early, man.

Just so we’re clear, Shaun White shouldn’t compete in the “running down the hallway and pulling fire alarms” portion of the X-Games. TMZ reports: Sources tell TMZ … White was…

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Kristin Cavallari Couldn’t Take Any Chances This TimeBy todJanuary 23, 2012

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In April of last year, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler proposed to reality show slut Kristin Cavallari. In July, Kristin posed in wedding dresses for Life & Style. Two days later, Cutler dumped her ass. They reconciled in November and immediately Cavallari turned to page 1 of the Gold Digger Handbook to ensure Cutler would stick around this time. At least for 18 years. People report:

“We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together,” they tell PEOPLE exclusively. “It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.” Shortly after Cavallari, 25, and her Chicago Bears quarterback beau, 28, renewed their engagement, the former Hills star and Dancing with the Stars contestant said, “Sometimes, in order for things to get better, they have to end – even if it’s momentarily.”

To be honest, I really should be letting Admiral Akbar write this post because his description would likely be more accurate, but for Bears’ fans I hope Lovie Smith can sign Kristin Cavallari’s uterus as a starting wide receiver and talk the NFL into allowing this to count towards Jay Cutler’s completion percentage.

In April of last year, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler proposed to reality show slut Kristin Cavallari. In July, Kristin posed in wedding dresses for Life & Style. Two days…

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JK You GuysBy jessJanuary 23, 2012

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Heidi Klum and Seal aren’t divorcing… Yet. Us Weekly reports:

On Saturday, TMZ reported that Heidi Klum and Seal were heading for a divorce, and that Klum would be filing the papers citing “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their split. But Us Weekly has learned, exclusively, that the supermodel, 38, and her husband of six years, 48, are still together — for now. “Nothing is finalized or for sure. Seal flew back from the UK yesterday and he and Heidi are in the house together now,” friend close to the couple tells Us. “They’ve had a very rough road lately. They’re either madly in love or having crazy fights.”
The friend goes on to say that the couple’s recent trip to Aspen was full of tension, adding “they fought a lot. It was a very hard trip.”
Seal, who’s famous for his 1994 single “Kiss from a Rose” is set to spend the next month in Australia, where he will serve as a coach on the Aussie leg of the vocal competition show The Voice, alongside Joel Madden. “It’s been very hard. but there is a lot of love there, and any decision that will be made is a tough one because they have beautiful children who they both love very deeply,” the friend says.

I’m pretty sure the root of all of the problems within their relationship is the conundrum that there’s little incentive to banging Heidi Klum in dark, but also little possibility of Seal getting laid with the lights on. I’m also pretty sure doggy style can save this marriage.

Update: JK again, they announced late last night that they’re separating. But my advice still stands.

Heidi Klum and Seal aren’t divorcing… Yet. Us Weekly reports: On Saturday, TMZ reported that Heidi Klum and Seal were heading for a divorce, and that Klum would be filing…

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Kate Upton Won’t Be Long NowBy toddSeptember 26, 2011

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Yes, I realize in 2015 she’ll be modeling for Lane Bryant or Sonic’s New Chili Cheese Bacon Chocolate Onion Rings Waffle Cone Pasta Biscuits And Gravy Fried Chicken Coney Island Tater Tot Collard Greens Barbecue Potato Chip Trans Fat Dog, but here’s Kate Upton modeling in 2011 for Bare Necessities. “Hey, you gonna finish that?” she was overheard thinking in pic #4.

Yes, I realize in 2015 she’ll be modeling for Lane Bryant or Sonic’s New Chili Cheese Bacon Chocolate Onion Rings Waffle Cone Pasta Biscuits And Gravy Fried Chicken Coney Island…

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