Olinkia MunnBy jessDecember 09, 2011

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Emily Browning and Carey Mulligan might need to wax [Taxidriver Movie]
Justin Bieber prevents teen pregnancy [The Superficial]
Kate Upton is GQ‘s Body of the Year [Popoholic]
Marc Anthony is pissed at Jennifer Lopez [Celebitchy]
Ke$ha has a fetish [The Blemish]
Arianny Celeste is good at one thing [Zoo Today]
Pete Wentz has a hot girlfriend [Coed Magazine]
Adriana Lima exists. That’s enough. [Cityrag]
Nicole Scherzinger makes children cry [Dlisted]
Katherine Heigl wants your sympathy [I’m Not Obsessed]
Charlize Theron looks good in leather [Moe Jackson]
Soulja Boy is broke [Popbytes]
Brooklyn Decker is doing this wrong [Egotastic]
Britney Spears makes Lady Gaga sound worse [Allie Is Wired]
This is insane. Period. [The Chive]
I’m going to Hell for laughing at this. And for other things. [Popcrush]
Kings of Leon made a cameo in It’s Always Sunny [Popcrush]
Ryan Kwanten? Don’t mind if I do [A Socialite’s Life]
J-Woww didn’t get ripped off, then [Amy Grindhouse]
Somewhere Chris Brown punches a wall (or a woman) in envy [Tabloid Prodigy]
Gary Oldman is fucking creepy [Best Week Ever]
Jessica Simpson might’ve gotten sued for being fat [Huffington Post]
Rose McGowan has tight pants, hideous shoes [Hollywood Tuna]
Gabrielle Union is underrated and ridiculously pretty [Celebuzz]
Emma Stone has an ego to match her forehead [Celebslam]
Lady Gaga thinks she’s Lady Di. We can only hope. [Evil Beet]

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Emily Browning and Carey Mulligan might need to wax [Taxidriver Movie] Justin Bieber prevents teen pregnancy [The Superficial] Kate Upton is GQ‘s Body of the Year [Popoholic] Marc Anthony is…

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You’re Looking At The Best Part Of The Three StoogesBy toddDecember 09, 2011

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The trailer for the celluloid abomination The Three Stooges was released yesterday, and since I’ve started you off this morning with child rape and God Casey Anthony-ing (sp?) a fetus with his holy spirit, I figured I’d make it up to you by showing you the only reason anyone should know this movie exists. Kate Upton as a nun in a bikini. Seems reasonable since her rack was what I think Moses was carrying in the Ark of The Covenant.

The trailer for the celluloid abomination The Three Stooges was released yesterday, and since I’ve started you off this morning with child rape and God Casey Anthony-ing (sp?) a fetus…

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Michelle Duggar Had A MiscarriageBy toddDecember 09, 2011

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On Thursday, doctors were unable to find the heartbeat of Michelle Duggar‘s unborn child. Oh, cheer up. She has 19 more. People reports:

“After the appointment, we came back home and told the children,” says Michelle, 45. “We had just been talking about baby names last night and they were getting excited about naming a boy or a girl. It has been a real sad disappointment.” She says the family will select a name after they know if the baby was a boy or girl, and then plan to have a funeral service. “I feel like my heart broke telling my children,” says Michelle. “They have all been so excited about this baby and looking forward to April coming around and having a new little one in our arms. That was the most difficult. The Lord is the giver of life and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him.”

So, basically Michelle Duggar just said God struck her baby dead in her womb because he wanted it for himself. The conceit and absurdity in that statement aside, God is apparently the world’s most successful child murderer. In a more likely scenario Michelle, your last child was delivered by an emergency c-section because you’re 45 and your uterus has been spitting out humans like a car full of Mexicans that just got into an accident. Maybe this your body’s way of telling you to swing by Rite-Aid and pick up some condoms. Or have your vagina sewn shut.

Note: Before you start with how I’m an asshole for not showing respect over this tragedy, look at that banner picture. That’s the real tragedy. In her inculcated and indoctrinated mind, she probably thinks she’s failed as a wife and a “good Christian” because she couldn’t bring yet another damn baby into the world. You know, because that’s apparently the only reason God puts women here in the first place.

On Thursday, doctors were unable to find the heartbeat of Michelle Duggar‘s unborn child. Oh, cheer up. She has 19 more. People reports: “After the appointment, we came back home…

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Well, One Person Thinks Jerry Sandusky Is InnocentBy toddDecember 09, 2011

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His wife. It’s his wife. TMZ reports:

In her statement Dottie says she’s been “shocked and dismayed by the allegations made against Jerry.” She adds, “As the mother of six children, I have been devastated by these accusations. Our children, our extended family and friends know how much Jerry and I love kids and have always tried to help and care for them. We would never do anything to hurt them. I am so sad anyone would make such a terrible accusation which is absolutely untrue. We don’t know why these young men have made these false accusations, but we want everyone to know they are untrue.”

All you need to do is watch his interview with Bob Costas to realize that Sandusky is sick and belongs in Shutter Island with a spike in his eyeball. If you have to pause and stumble over your answer then say you touched their thighs and showered with them in a fatherly way when you’re asked point blank “Are you sexually attracted to underage boys?”, something is wired way the hell wrong up in your cerebral cortex or frontal lobe or whatever. Dude is a monster who apparently can’t help himself, and his wife is obviously covering for him. But we all come here to see titties so I’ll stop typing now. Whew. I feel better already.

His wife. It’s his wife. TMZ reports: In her statement Dottie says she’s been “shocked and dismayed by the allegations made against Jerry.” She adds, “As the mother of six…

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Kris Jenner Is…Wow. Just Wow.By toddDecember 08, 2011

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Before we get started, please keep in mind that Kris Jenner is pure, unadulterated narcissism whose life solely exists to be a broodmare for any rich, famous man who will agree to marry her so she can shit out an assembly line of fame whores who will suck every bit of money and cum from any product/place/thing/network/government that lands on her desk (ex. see the banner pic? That’s her at the opening of a fucking milkshake shop in Dubai). To ensure she can live vicariously through her walking withdrawal slips, Kris Jenner has already pimped out her youngest daughters by forcing them to become underage bikini models and she has recently teamed with E! to launch an all out attack on Kris Humphries (only after their strategy of faking a marriage for $20 million backfired) by manipulating the media, leaking false stories, and editing all their billion shows to make him the bad guy. And how did all this fame and fortune land in their lap? Easy. Her first husband defended a guy who cut his wife’s head off and by secretly overseeing the sale and release of a sex tape where her daughter got butt fucked and pissed on like a rented lay in a hostel. So if you’re not sitting down, be sure you do as you read her response to Daniel Craig calling her family “fucking idiots”. The National Enquirer reports:

“(He has) crossed the line,” she told Heat mag. “It’s not made him look like the world’s nicest guy. The right thing for a real man to do now would be to issue a public apology. “The easy thing would be to criticize his career now, but our family won’t stoop to that level.”

I once saw a homeless guy run down Glenwood Avenue with a stolen shopping cart telling every woman that he saw that they had to come with him because a giant octopus who could teleport would be coming to get them pregnant and that they would only be safe in his time machine (shopping cart). Because his time machine would take them to Long John Silver’s because that’s the only place a giant, raping octopus would be afraid. I guess what I’m saying is that he was less delusional than Kris Jenner.

Before we get started, please keep in mind that Kris Jenner is pure, unadulterated narcissism whose life solely exists to be a broodmare for any rich, famous man who will…

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Samuel Links JacksonBy jessDecember 08, 2011

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Elisa Benitez topless [Taxidriver Movie]
Jerry Sandusky‘s wife is devoted, delusional [The Superficial]
Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini [Popoholic]
Kris Jenner wants Daniel Craig to apologize [Celebitchy]
Angelina Jolie is on a hunger strike [The Blemish]
Jodie Marsh topless videos [Zoo Today]
Melissa Debling is cleavage-y [Coed Magazine]
Megan Fox is pouting [Cityrag]
Reese Witherspoon has camel toe [Dlisted]
Mischa Barton is still alive [I’m Not Obsessed]
Irina Shayk in a short dress [Moe Jackson]
Justin Bieber ruins everything [Popbytes]
Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba support brain cancer research, erections [Egotastic]
Alec Baldwin is sorry [Allie Is Wired]
Denise Milani is good at Facebook [The Chive]
Katy Perry mimicking Russell Brand [Popcrush]
Shakira got a haircut [Popcrush]
Lady Gaga worries about her finances [A Socialite’s Life]
Salma Hayek is stacked [Amy Grindhouse]
Claire Danes looks okay in comparison [Tabloid Prodigy]
Mr. Belvedere made an AIDS joke [Best Week Ever]
Selena Gomez is in a bikini with some butch chick [Huffington Post]
Arianny Celeste is releasing a calendar [Hollywood Tuna]
Sarah Shahi staged a bikini paparazzi shoot [Celebuzz]
Reggie Bush may get back with Kim Kardashian [Celebslam]
Christina Ricci looks like an infant crowning [Evil Beet]

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Elisa Benitez topless [Taxidriver Movie] Jerry Sandusky‘s wife is devoted, delusional [The Superficial] Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini [Popoholic] Kris Jenner wants Daniel Craig to apologize [Celebitchy] Angelina Jolie is…

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