Because she's young and doesn't understand that the scrawny douche in the bedazzled hat she's dating isn't really a bad boy just because he pisses in mop buckets and has a bodyguards to protect him when he spits in somebody's face, Selena Gomez is still dating Justin Bieber giving her vagina the sads. She was also at the ESPYS last night, and I'd like to let her know when she has free time while Bieber is painting his nails or practicing ebonics with his swagger coach, I'd be more that happen to tend her Mexican garden. Unless Mexicans don't have gardens. Was that racist? Awww c'mon, baby. You know I didn't mean it like that.
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See that video? You see how they portray our celebrity blogger-ness? As a whole bunch of giggly women who don’t watch Zac Efron movies but totally bitch about them anyway?
Well, outside of the woman thing, that’ basically correct. But I don’t need to watch Zac Efron movies to know the guy isn’t funny. I can watch last night’s Saturday Night Live or the star-filled, yet strangely completely unfunny Funny Or Die video about Zac Efron’s pool party.
Look, dude, you look good an Tween magazines and make boat loads of money, there’s just no reason that I should like you. Rephrase: Zac Efron has never done anything I’ve been remotely interested in, and the stuff that I do end up watching isn’t good.
Though Vanessa Hudgens is pretty attractive, and he keeps that chick in line. Look at her slink behind him on their way to the SNL afterparty at the Heartland Brewery.
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Even though she made every day of his life during their marriage a living hell (here) then proceeded to vilify him and attempt to control his every move during their divorce proceedings (here and here), Madonna has reached out to Guy Ritchie with “tearful calls” over her failed adoption attempt. An insider tells The Sun:
“Civil conversations between them have been few and far between in the past year. But over the last week things have improved. Guy had Rocco over for a visit when Em called to see if he was OK, as she always does when she is away from the kids. Rocco was speaking to her and suddenly turned to Guy and said, ‘Daddy, Daddy. Mummy is crying’. He then handed Guy the phone.” Madge was devastated after being told three-year-old Malawi girl Mercy James can’t join her brood — LOURDES, 12, Rocco, eight, and three-year-old DAVID BANDA, who she adopted from Malawi in 2006. The insider continued: “It’s unusual for Em to turn on the waterworks but this has really upset her. Explaining to Rocco why Mercy wasn’t coming home has been difficult. “Guy was incredibly sympathetic, calmed her down and told her to be happy with the family she had.”
Fuck this bitch. I don’t feel sorry for her. Madonna could adopt a hundred black babies in the United States if she wanted to (and seriously, more people should, and those who do should be commended), but that would mean having to condescend to obey such things as “laws” and “due process”. It’s easy when you’re Madonna to bully some guy in an office whose computer is powered by a goat running on a treadmill, but let’s see her try that shit with some old Italian lady behind a desk in NYC. There’s a pretty good chance Madonna would be taken out in the street and stoned.