Alessandra Ambrosio is Better Than CoffeeBy toddFebruary 27, 2009

[Gallery not found]

I was up way too early this morning, so when I finished painting my miniature Civil War figurines (what amazing detail on my Union Mounted Officer! He’s so lifelike!), I decided to use the Internet for what it was intended – to look for pictures of hot chicks in bikinis. Specifically, the insanely hot piece, Alessandra Ambrosio. She just had a baby, but you’d never know. So, enjoy. You know, since you’re not allowed to have coffee at the office anymore, dude. Didn’t you know? Coffee’s for closers only.

I was up way too early this morning, so when I finished painting my miniature Civil War figurines (what amazing detail on my Union Mounted Officer! He’s so lifelike!), I…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Dexter’s Wife is HotBy toddFebruary 26, 2009

[Gallery not found]

If you haven’t bought Jennifer Carpenter anything for a wedding present yet, you might want to think about deodorant. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that it hasn’t been marked off her bridal registry.

Dexter is one of the best things on television right now, but they play brother and sister on the show. C’mon, man:

If you haven’t bought Jennifer Carpenter anything for a wedding present yet, you might want to think about deodorant. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to shake the…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Danneel Harris Isn’t OctomomBy toddFebruary 26, 2009

[Gallery not found]

There’s been a lot of fug on the site lately, so here’s Danneel Harris in the March issue of Maxim. I’m surprised too, because Maxim is only slightly gayer than Details, but I’ve put than behind me to post the obliterating hotness that is Danneel Harris. I would say more, but I’m trying to get a triple word score in Scrabble and there’s a chick in a bikini right below this, so….

You can see the full version of #1 and #2 here:

There’s been a lot of fug on the site lately, so here’s Danneel Harris in the March issue of Maxim. I’m surprised too, because Maxim is only slightly gayer than…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Awww, Chris Brown is ScaredBy toddFebruary 26, 2009

[Gallery not found]

This just in: If you beat up a woman and put her in the hospital, a lot of people are gonna want to kick your ass. in Touch Weekly reports:

“Chris is scared,” says an insider. “Not only did he probably lose his career and his girlfriend, but he’s also fearing for his security and his life.” Chris, 19, who was arrested on February 8 for making criminal threats, has good reason to watch his back. After reports that he allegedly hurt Rihanna during an argument in a parked car, there have been calls for bans on his music as well as those who have vowed to seek revenge. “Chris is a marked man,” a music insider says. “He faces criminal charges and possible jail time, but he’s going to have to deal with Rihanna’s legion of fans and her close-knit friends in the industry.” And the leak of a police photo on February 19 of a bruised and bloodied Rihanna only made things worse. “That photo was the last straw,” the music insider says. “The threats started pouring in the moment that appeared online.”

I live in the South, and let me tell you, if Rihanna did, she’d have at least three older brothers who would have caved this little bitch’s head in at least twice by now. We may not drink pumpkin spice lattes or get penguin egg facials like all the highfalutin people in LA do, but if this happened down here the only thing Chris Brown would be scared of right now is that his morphine drip would run out.

Screw Chris Brown. Mr. T needs to teach him some respect for women. Tell ’em, Mr. T!!

This just in: If you beat up a woman and put her in the hospital, a lot of people are gonna want to kick your ass. in Touch Weekly reports:…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kelly Clarkson is HappyBy toddFebruary 26, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Kelly Clarkson was in London on Tuesday where she was photographed leaving BBC Studios. No word on why she looks so happy, but insiders say it’s because she just found out that Willy Wonka’s factory has a chocolate river! “It’s in London?!” Kelly squealed in delight.

Kelly Clarkson was in London on Tuesday where she was photographed leaving BBC Studios. No word on why she looks so happy, but insiders say it’s because she just found…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Octomom Might Be in PornBy toddFebruary 25, 2009

[SinglePic not found]
If you have food in your mouth, spit it out. Vivid Entertainment just offered Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in a hardcore porno. SF Chronicle reports:

Vivid Entertainment spokeswoman Jackie Martin says the offer also promises a year of health insurance for Nadya Suleman and her 14 children. Suleman gave birth to octuplets at a Bellflower hospital on Jan. 26, and already had six other children. The home the unemployed single-mother lives in is facing foreclosure. Vivid says the offer was sent Tuesday via overnight mail and there has been no immediate response. The offer letter says Suleman’s video would be distributed under the Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has released videos starring Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian.

Let’s hope Vivid is being sarcastic here, because unless she’s getting gangbanged by minotaurs, there’s no way some regular dude is gonna make this convincing. This bitch has had 14 kids. Fourteen. They might as well let Wile E. Coyote paint one of those fake tunnels between this bitch’s legs and put her on a train track, because her vagina has to look like Stargate by now.

If you have food in your mouth, spit it out. Vivid Entertainment just offered Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in a hardcore porno. SF Chronicle reports: Vivid Entertainment spokeswoman…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Brad Still Loves Jen (Not Really)By toddFebruary 25, 2009

[Gallery not found]

The much hyped and long-awaited(?) showdown between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie at the Oscars this weekend came and went without much drama. Mostly because even though Aniston had been planning for that night for months by cutting out magazine pictures and writing quotations on her dream board, Jolie had, you know, an actual reason to be there. Oh, and Angelina couldn’t give a shit. But did the night rekindle old feelings? OK Magazine says:

Jen couldn’t have cared less whether Angie was at the Oscars,” an insider tells OK! of their Feb. 22 run-in. “Her mind was fixated on her ex-husband Brad Pitt.”A radiant Jen seemed not to notice her so-called rival Angie, focusing instead on the man who has become a father of six since leaving her in 2005….And although Jen, 40, appears to have found love again with John Mayer, 31, she is still troubled by the past. “Once her eyes met Brad’s that night, it rekindled all the old feelings,” the source tells OK!. “She has never stopped loving Brad.”…However, the 45-year-old star of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button did not intend for his relationship with Angie to become so serious, so soon after his split from Jen. “Things just seemed to snowball and the next thing Brad knew, he had six kids,” the insider tells OK! of the shocking romance that blossomed on the set of the Jolie-Pitt action flick Mr. & Mrs. Smith in 2005. “There was no turning back.” And the feelings may be mutual! “Just because Brad was swept off his feet by Angelina, it didn’t mean he stopped loving Jen,” says the source. “He has this obsession with Angelina and he felt he had to explore a relationship with her

I’m so glad I can learn from Jennifer Aniston’s example of enduring love in my life. I’ll admit it will be hard, but when my girlfriend leaves me and has six kids in four years with some guy who is better than me in every possible way, I’ll know it’s because she just got caught up in the moment. And that her heart still belongs to me. Thanks, Jen!

Man, check out Brad. He looks so torn:

The much hyped and long-awaited(?) showdown between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie at the Oscars this weekend came and went without much drama. Mostly because even though Aniston had been…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Chris Brown is in Anger ManagementBy toddFebruary 25, 2009

[Gallery not found]

Putting a woman in the hospital after you beat her and threaten to kill her while choking her out, may lead people to believe that you might need to enroll in anger management classes. If that woman is Rihanna, some may think that she might need to go with you. New York Daily News reports:

According to a source, Brown opted for anger management at the behest of his spin doctor, Michael Sitrick. “Chris doesn’t actually have to go by law,” our insider tells us, “but he believes it will make him look better to the public, and he wants to try to get in a few classes before March 5,” his court date….But insiders are rumbling that Chris shouldn’t be taking the anger management classes alone. “Rihanna is temperamental, too,” says our snitch. “They’re both too hot-headed for their own good.” Adds another source: “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.”

Whatever. If they want to beat on each other, at least do it Gladiator style with chariots and tigers or something. I know that may sound a little extreme, but we have to get them off the radio somehow. I wish I could do more, but the police confiscated all my poison darts after my little misunderstanding with Miranda Kerr last year. I still don’t know why she got all bent out of shape, I was just going to put her to sleep for a while.

Putting a woman in the hospital after you beat her and threaten to kill her while choking her out, may lead people to believe that you might need to enroll…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,